♒ 5th VIDEO

[unconchonable]

[Maybe it's in bad taste. Maybe it's in bad taste and Eridan really does not give a shit. He's heard the news, and is delighted by it, to be perfectly honest. She was nothing but a disrespectful cur, and the news of her death has left him elated to say the least. When the feed turns on, he's sipping a hot cup of tea (pinky extended), of what type is anyone's guess, but he looks amused as ever.]

I say the bitch got what was comin' to her.

[He takes another long sip. He feels no need to disclose who, when it's probably obvious to anyone with a working think pan.]

Just goes to show that maybe there is some modicum a justice in this place.

Comments

audio;

[mightythinice]

Hey, man, fuck you. You don't have to like her, but don't fucking act like you got something up on everyone that's sad.

audio;

[unconchonable]

You're right. I don't hawe to, but I certainly choose to.

An' I certainly do got somethin' up on eweryone considerin' I ain't some snifflin' grub ower somethin' like death. Especially the death to our shared kidnapper. I swear, it's like you're all braindead.

audio;

[mightythinice]

Well, for some of us, this place is better than the shithole we call home.

audio;

[unconchonable]

I don't got much to go back to either, but I ain't alright with bein' forced into some manner a serwitude by some old hag who think she got the right. Thought, I suppose.

[mightythinice]

If you're being a servant, it's your own damn fault, it sounds like.

You must be a fucking joy at parties.

[unconchonable]

I ain't bein' a flippin' serwant, stupid, what I'm sayin' is her aim was to make all a us her fuckin' pawns in her stupid fuckin' war!

Yeah, I am, actually. [Human sarcasm????]

[mightythinice]

And? People obviously cared about her, dumbass. I wouldn't make fun of your grief, even if you really fucking deserve it.

Oh, great. Life of the party.

[unconchonable]

And I care... why? If you're tryin' to claim some sorta moral high ground on me, sawe it. Trolls got a whole different set a morals than you humans, so don't try to impose your human ideals on me.

[mightythinice]

[she pauses, this is the first time she's wanted to hit someone for using the 'I'm an alien, so I get to be a dick' excuse. But it was effective, in that she wasn't quite sure what to say]

So you're saying that trolls pride themselves on being real life villains.

[unconchonable]

Yes, actually, though we ain't really seen as willains for doin' such, since it ain't somethin' considered bad. [Eye roll.]

Murder, deceit, slanderin', all a that is expected a ewery fuckin' one a us, compassion an' the like is seen as weakness, so excuse the fuck outta me for actin' like my species proper.

[mightythinice]

That's fucking shitty, and your species sucks.

[and it's suddenly so ridiculous, she can't even take it seriously. CLASS ACT, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, ERIDAN. SPECIES ASIDE.]

[unconchonable]

Fuck off, ain't my or my species fault that yours is utterly fuckin' pathetic and can't handle a little blood shed without runnin' off to curl up in some infantile position, rockin' to and fro tryin' to ease your pathetic sponge ower what is pretty fuckin' pedestrian for us trolls.

[You're just jelly over how awesome he is!!]

[mightythinice]

Look, I really don't care how weak you think we are. You're priding yourself on being the textbook definition of an asshole, and getting huffy when no one else likes it.

If you were really an asshole, you'd have to lose a lot more fucks to give to convince me.

[unconchonable]

[SQUINTING.]

What the hell are you tryin' to imply here?

[mightythinice]

That I've met bigger assholes and bastards that are sicker than you. And they were all humans.

[unconchonable]

Pfft, you'we just not seen me at my best, this is a walk in the prowerbial park. I'we done way worse than slander the death of some bitch.

[He rolls his eyes.]

I could go on an' fuckin' on about what I'we done.

[mightythinice]

No thanks.

I really don't want to hear you get off to how awesome you think you are for troll standards.

[unconchonable]

Then don't try to downtalk me ower how much of a fuckin' asshole I am. No human can compete proper.

[Unless a human has committed preemptive genocide to their own species, it's reaaaaally hard to compete with Eridan for that title.]

[mightythinice]

[does eating your own species count... 'cause as far as she's concerned, David is the scariest thing ever]

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Congrats on sucking. I'm sure your family's proud.

[unconchonable]

[Considering trolls make their own offspring into grubloaf and paint, I dunno. I'd say it makes them pretty even to an average troll at the very least.]

I don't suck! Quite the fuckin' opposite, really. [GOD!]

Also, ain't got no family. We trolls don't do that familial thing.

[mightythinice]

[SHE HAD CONSIDERED CLOSING THE CONSOLE. But that piques her interest. Alien family structures. There's a small sound, somewhere between an 'ugh' and a sigh. But she wasn't closing the console just yet.]

Okay. I'll bite. Why not?

[unconchonable]

[Eridan raises an eyebrow.]

'Cos we don't. There's no reason to, we're raise by subterranean beasts that take us on as their charges after we complete-slash-surwiwe the trials. There are no adult trolls on Alternia, and ewen if there were, they'd likely kill any child on sight.

[KANYE SHRUG.]

Just how things are.

[mightythinice]

[That's horrible. Horrible.

And yet...]

You know there are humans who would do that, too, right?

[unconchonable]

[It's the life he lives, man, complaining won't do any good, better to accept it and keep trucking.]

I don't doubt it, but a few a you that can barely skim what a awerage troll is like hardly says much for your entire species.