[There was one particular thing she she figured Jack should know. Eventually. Maybe. But she had to make sure of a few things first before breaking the news.]

Oh, don't even get me started. We'd be here all afternoon if I tried to get you caught up with things. Seriously, Jack, read a tabloid sometime.

[Leaning back, her eyes travel upward in pretend thought as she rattles off the first list of cliches she can think of:]

Let's see. There's love triangles. Or was it squares? Umm...long lost twin clones who are secretly the father of their best friend's baby. Oh, and can't forget the occasional coma or six. Always a classic.