[Bruce looks at him agape for a moment, and then his expression shifts into a wry smile.]

Lampshades? Never. I do find myself in the market for a throw rug, though. Unfortunately you're a bit on the small side, so I believe you're safe for the time being.

[He doesn't seem the least bit offended. Hell, he'd rather kids be suspicious than not.]

I'm not sure what sort of assurances I can give you beyond saying 'I'm not a crazy axe murderer, I promise.'