Ah, young man, you may find that there are some foodstuffs that are disappointingly nonexistent, possibly even extinct, in this forsaken place. Not long ago I discovered that there is no bacon here! None whatsoever. No ham either, because there are no specimens of sus scrofa domesticus in evidence on Tu Vishan at all! I've been working on rectifying this but there are still major theoretical hurdles to overcome. I've considered creating some kind of synthetic substitute for bacon.

Apparently there is no cow's milk either. How they can regardless have ice cream, I have not dared to investigate.

I do invite you to visit our little bakery at [address], right now we are working on mastering the art of blueberry muffins! It's run by me, a few acquaintances from my parallel universe and some young lad whose name escapes me.