tushanshu | audio

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audio | 02

[GOOD MORNING KEELIAI it's your friendly neighborhood disembodied voice on the network. Well, actually, maybe not all that friendly. She sounds just as uptight and defensive as ever, the voice modifier still on to disguise her real voice.]

Anyone who's not planning on exploring the mainland and has extra rations or supplies to spare. I'm willing to pay or barter. I'll give you a fair price.

[There's a slight pause, as if she's thinking, before she adds,]

Don't bother responding if you're just going to waste my time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not plannin' on stalkin' me anymore or something?

[well she would but you know. Escape.]

You'll just have to learn to get along without me, York.

Man, and here I was, all excited 'cause I thought I was special.

[He is special, though. He's the only person here who she knows or who knows anything about where she's from, the only familiar voice, and she's quiet for a long, long moment.

It's on the tip of her tongue to just tell him - tell him everything, who she is, how she's been alone these past few months, what she's planning to do. Maybe he could come with her.

He couldn't, though, and she can't. He'd shoot her or arrest her - he'd have to, whether he wanted to or not, even if he didn't have a million reasons to be angry at her himself, and she can't.]

I guess you were wrong.

Eh, it's been known to happen once or twice. You ever meet a guy named Delta, and-- well, you better tell me first, but I can guarantee he'll tell you more than once or twice but he's totally lying.

[She smiles, if only to herself, and she wants to say something snarky, something like he only lies because he learned it from you, but she doesn't.]

What kind of a name is Delta?

Uh, the kind where he's kind of a computer program and, well, the guy that named him is the same guy who decided that states? Were awesome code names. Not the greatest idea, lemme tell ya.

[She snorts, hoping it sounds like the half-laugh of someone who's faintly amused by the idea, and not the laugh of someone who understands, who sympathizes.]

Right. If I see someone calling themself New Hampshire wandering around, I'll be sure to let you know.

[ And there's a faint bit of seriousness to his tone, now. ]

Sure, if you wanna, but I'm serious, y'know. You hear about anyone called Delta-- or anyone goin' by state names, lemme know, okay? Maybe I'll get lucky.

[Lucky. Sure. Because their luck has been so good up until now.]

You'd like that, wouldn't you.

[Because while she has no doubt that York would be genuinely happy to hear from Wash or Carolina, from his friends, there's also no doubt in her mind as to just what he'd do if he heard even a rumor that Connecticut was here.

She murmurs the words low under her breath, too quiet, she hopes, for him to hear, before speaking a little louder.]

I doubt that'll happen.

[ He catches something-- he doesn't need the words to get the sentiment behind it, and huffs out a little sigh. ]

Listen, I dunno what you've got against me, man, but I don't mind keepin' an eye out for anyone you might know, too, okay?

No thanks.

[She says it a little too sharply, a little too quickly. It's not like it's a surprise that York had offered - she'd been half-expecting it, prepared to reject the offer.]

Believe it or not, not all of us are looking forward to the big squishy reunion.

...Everyone's got someone back home they miss, or at least it seems like they would.

[Goddammit, York.

She's silent for a long while, thinking. Thinking of the looks she'd shared with South, the two of them drawing courage from each other before missions, before South had turned bitter and angry and stopped sharing anything with anyone anymore; of North and Theta; of York himself, sharing his desserts with her in the mess with a good-natured grin.

Of Wash.

Her hands clench into fists. It's all over. She'd given it up. Tex, maybe...Tex would maybe understand, but she and Tex had never been friends. CT had just trusted her to do a job - hoped that she would. That was all.

No, there's no one back home for her. Not anymore.]

Not me.

Then I can guarantee, someone misses you.

I mean, maybe not the whole, angry, I'm gonna get mad when the guy I stalk tries to be nice to me thing, but I'm sure you've got somethin' good goin' for you, buddy.

[ Teasing, buddy, he's teasing. ]

[In another life, it'd be exactly the right thing to say.

Now, it's exactly the wrong thing. Wrong, because she knows it's not true - worse, she knows it had been true once, that they'd been her friends and enjoyed her company just as she'd enjoyed theirs, despite how difficult she knew she could sometimes be.

It had been true, but it's not anymore, it never will be again, and York saying it just makes the loss ache that much more.

She sniffles, audibly, and then freezes, immediately angry at herself for it - for showing such weakness.]

You're wrong.

[Her voice is hard, just as angry as he'd predicted, building up walls to protect herself the only way she knows how.]

You're wrong, and you don't know what the hell you're talking about, so you can stop fucking trying to help, okay?

[ He doesn't need Delta in his head to figure some things out, and that catch of breath, the behavior toward him, the poking, and prodding, and well, not stalking but focusing on him?

Yeah, that's suspicious. ]

No, I'm pretty sure I do.

And I'm pretty sure, the more we talk, that this ain't just some guy on the comms deciding he doesn't like my face.

[Shit.

She'd been stupid - stupid to ever contact him, to ever talk to him, to ever let him take any notice of her at all. What had she been thinking? It would have been far better to keep her big mouth shut, to keep track of him and his movements and not say a word, to keep from drawing attention to herself.

She'd just missed them all so much. She hadn't been able to resist seeking him out, even if she couldn't tell him anything, even if she could only be angry and alienate him.

That's all over now, though. It's too risky - maybe she's blown her whole cover already, but on the off chance that she hadn't, she won't take any more chances.]

You don't know anything.

Especially not about me.

Is that so.

[ He hums quietly, shrugging, even if it's not visible. ]

Yes.

[Her voice is pure acid - in theory. In reality, it comes out a lot more like a whisper than she'd like, a lot more uncertain, a lot more like Connie than CT.

I'm scared, York, she wants to say, and doesn't.]

Stop trying to psychoanalyze me.

It won't work.

Uh-huh. Whatever, man. You ever gonna give me a name?

What do you think?

I think I know you, 'cause only someone I know would do this, and then refuse to gimme a name.

Just saying. And if that's true, then the list of people that could be? Ain't too long.

[It scares her, that he's figured out that much, and she has to remind herself that he doesn't know anything, that he's just speculating. Even if he does start guessing, he won't guess her - he couldn't, he can't. All CT has to do is not let him know that he's on the right track, not let the uncertainty through in her voice.]

You sound awfully sure about that.

You sit there and make your lists. I've got better things to do.

Hey, you don't want me to know who you are, and you have your reasons, whatever. That's fine.

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