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Entry tags:
text; anonymous (backdated to may 25)
Daseng.
Attacking the innocent and helpless as a demonstration of might is the province of the cowardly and craven. Only those who know their ideas and beliefs are built on shaky ground resort to such tactics rather than discussing their truths in the cold light of day.
Y᷆o᷅ů h̓a͘v᷾e͑ m̗a᷈d̳e͒ mͫȧn̻y̦ p͚o᷾w̻e᷁r᷁f̛ùlͮ eͨn͉e̓m͌i̔e̓s̼ t̴oͩd̔a͘y᷂.̗
Pͦ᷉̾e͚ͮͅr͐͌᷀h̴᷿ͧa̩̼ͅp̣̜᷀s̴͖͠ t̫̯ͫhͥ̄ͥe̸̶᷂ o̘̦ͥn̲᷁͜e͎᷉᷀ y͙̾͛o̪͓ͤu̘͚̙ s̟̋ͣh̠͙͡o̞᷆͊u̇ͥ͜l̼ͩ͋d̊̐͝ f͈̲̕ę̷᷄a̠͐͟r̯̱̍ t͖̥͢h᷾̓͜e̐̐̐ m̳̱̀o̴̗̅s̫̄̈́t̹͖̆ ȋ̦᷁s̡̾͆ m͂ͥ͠e͇ͣ͐.̸̦̏
[And Miles will not be responding to anything, because the nanite interference from his anger-summoning of the Walrider Swarm while he wrote this has hecked up his radio so badly that it's basically a brick now.]
[Three-quarters of an hour later, private video to Pepper from a console in the Hotel:]
...I think I broke my phone.
[He looks tired and drawn, but there's still a spark of anger deep in his eyes.]
Attacking the innocent and helpless as a demonstration of might is the province of the cowardly and craven. Only those who know their ideas and beliefs are built on shaky ground resort to such tactics rather than discussing their truths in the cold light of day.
Y᷆o᷅ů h̓a͘v᷾e͑ m̗a᷈d̳e͒ mͫȧn̻y̦ p͚o᷾w̻e᷁r᷁f̛ùlͮ eͨn͉e̓m͌i̔e̓s̼ t̴oͩd̔a͘y᷂.̗
Pͦ᷉̾e͚ͮͅr͐͌᷀h̴᷿ͧa̩̼ͅp̣̜᷀s̴͖͠ t̫̯ͫhͥ̄ͥe̸̶᷂ o̘̦ͥn̲᷁͜e͎᷉᷀ y͙̾͛o̪͓ͤu̘͚̙ s̟̋ͣh̠͙͡o̞᷆͊u̇ͥ͜l̼ͩ͋d̊̐͝ f͈̲̕ę̷᷄a̠͐͟r̯̱̍ t͖̥͢h᷾̓͜e̐̐̐ m̳̱̀o̴̗̅s̫̄̈́t̹͖̆ ȋ̦᷁s̡̾͆ m͂ͥ͠e͇ͣ͐.̸̦̏
[And Miles will not be responding to anything, because the nanite interference from his anger-summoning of the Walrider Swarm while he wrote this has hecked up his radio so badly that it's basically a brick now.]
[Three-quarters of an hour later, private video to Pepper from a console in the Hotel:]
...I think I broke my phone.
[He looks tired and drawn, but there's still a spark of anger deep in his eyes.]
private; video
[As a joke, it falls a little flat. She's tired. It's been a crappy week. Crappy month, really.]
But yeah. Today-- today really sucked. [Pepper's sporting a few scrapes and bruises that definitely aren't worth the healers' time right now, and they'll probably turn more interesting colors soon.] I think we're lucky it wasn't worse, but there's probably gonna be a line around the block to pummel Sherlock after this. For a smart guy, he's really dumb sometimes.
[Tony is also this way, but he doesn't go around provoking terrorist attacks intentionally.]
You okay?
private; video - cw: 9/11 mention
But yeah...we're lucky, I guess. At least nothing blew up, right?
[Bad memories. Bad memories.]
I'm going to be at the front of that line. What the hell was he thinking? This could have been a lot worse, but this was still Aum Shinrikyo-style. It's not like any terrorist attack is good. At least it wasn't 9-fucking-11. So basically, I'm going to punch him in the nuts the next time I see him.
[Then he sighs.] I didn't get hurt, if that's what you're asking. Looks like you did. [He knows that is probably not what she's asking.]
private; video - cw continues
Yeah, that was... that was a horrible day. [Horrible year. The recovery had taken a while. She was only five, but she remembers well enough the sense of what happened, if not all the specific details that were only captured in her mind rather than in news footage. Another thing New Yorkers share a very particular history on, which is both sorrowful and something to unite over - and against. Let it never happen again.] He deserves it, honestly. I don't think he'll argue that one.
[At least Sherlock knew he'd been a complete effing moron. She shrugs.] I was just doing my job; I know how to fight and I've had worse. Nothing broken. [Pepper is like 97% sure she didn't fracture another rib, it doesn't hurt to breathe like it did that time she smacked into the ocean after the armor fried.] But I meant going Walrider on your phone, actually.
private; video - cw continues
And that's how he got in a lot more fights and a lot more detention.]
Good. At least it seems to have been relatively contained, but people still died. That shit... [He thanks his lucky stars, a little selfishly, that he hadn't been hit with the stuff. Then again, the Red Mist would have made him extremely dangerous, if the afflicted kedan's reaction had been anything to go by.
Then he pinches the bridge of his nose with his left hand.] That obvious, huh?
private; video
Kinda. You look like you've been run over, you're angry, and you broke your phone. The math adds up.
I'm glad you called, though. [Rather than avoid her, she means. He's learning.] Want company? I could use caffeine and some food before I head back out there.
private; video
...I definitely need food, caffeine, and company. Not necessarily in that order. [Food is definitely up there, though. The Swarm takes it out of him, whether he intends to summon it or not.]
private; video
Our place is probably quieter than the Hotel, if you wanna come over. [She has no doubt that Klaus has opened up the doors to anyone needing a safe place to stay.] We have, like, an entire cabinet of tea. And gelato. [They obviously have more food than that, but gelato is comforting.]
private; video
Sure, if you guys'll have me. But I'm seriously tempted by the tea and gelato.
private; video
Yeah, sure, it's fine. Gene and Tony are probably gonna be in and out most of the night, too, so it's not like you'll be interrupting anything. [Likely none of them would get much sleep; coming home would be for refueling purposes only, until one or the other forced the rest to get to bed for a few hours. Jury's out on who that'll be.] I'll put on some water to boil.
no subject
[And he's as good as his word - it's not a far walk from the Hotel, which is too noisy for his liking anyway. Everything's a mess, but at least the walk lets him clear his head just a little. He's still on edge, but he manages to keep the prickling under his skin just that - a prickle. No cultists here.
About fifteen minutes later, he reaches the house, and knocks.] Domino's Pizza, [he says.
Ass.]
no subject
That've been better if you brought actual pizza. Nice try, though.
[There is recently boiled water in the kettle and mugs out on the counter when she leads him back to the kitchen.]
Pick whatever kind of tea you like. I'm gonna make a sandwich if you want one. [They were easy to make and eat and simple enough to do almost mindlessly while being the right kind of distracting. The way she says it - not quite an order and yet not entirely a question - she plans to make him eat something that isn't just sugary dessert regardless. Sugar crash is not fun.]
no subject
I can only do so much, unfortunately, [he says, and follows her to the kitchen.
Uh-oh. He feels like he's been tricked into eating actual food. He's heard that tone before.] ...I guess I could probably have some protein. [He picks some tea and begins to make it. Tea fixes everything.]
no subject
There will still be gelato but neither of us can operate on sugar all the time, and if I'm getting scolded about eating and sleeping I'm going to pass it on to other people. You'll thank me later.
[The protein is like a slightly gamier turkey and there is some kind of lettuce (probably from the new hydroponic crop) that she uses to begin constructing what resembles an actual meal.]
How hard is it to control, when you're angry? ['It' being the Walrider, of course. Having some kind of benchmark here could be useful for future reference.]
no subject
When she asks, though, he pauses in making the tea (he'd picked out something similar to mint).] I don't know. I mean...when Kylo stabbed me, it chased him, but it didn't really hurt him. I didn't want it to hurt him. And I was...in control, when I was affected by the Dust. That wasn't really anger, though. I was scared. And that became anger later, I guess. But I knew what I was doing the whole time. I was acting out of...self-preservation, I guess. I thought you were a threat.
[He shifts from foot to foot.] Just now, with the phone...I don't know if I was in control or not. It's like I was just letting it happen. [He's kind of ashamed of that.]
I'm not exactly open to the idea of tests, [he says.] Not totally cool with being an experiment.
no subject
...Kylo stabbed you? Why? When? [It's probably too late to arrest him, but the idea is out there. Pepper listens, her brow pinched into a small frown.] So, it sounds like a lot of it is instinctive reactions. Self-defense is normal. Just letting it go isn't great, obviously, but you didn't wreck the building.
[She pauses, staring at the half-made sandwiches as though they contain the answer to great mysteries. Miles has the potential to be extraordinarily dangerous, and he needs to get a handle on that, is possible. For his own sanity as much as safety.]
I wasn't gonna suggest tests. I was gonna suggest practice.
no subject
[Then he looks a bit sheepish.] I kind of...called his grandfather a punk-ass bitch. And he took exception to that. I'm right, though.
[He sighs.] Heather's teaching me how to meditate, so that's helping...but I guess it's not helping too much when I get this pissed-off.
no subject
[She finishes the sandwiches and puts one on a plate for Miles.] Try not to get yourself stabbed again, I've heard it hurts a lot. Whether you're right or wrong. Meditating'll probably help, like, in the long run, but after this you should work on a game plan for when you don't have time to sit around and say 'ohm'.
I'm so glad you used that
And yeah; I do need some better anger management plans, I guess. Otherwise I'm no better than Darth Dumbass. [He rolls his eyes.]
I couldn't not
You seem to at least want to control yourself better. [Pepper hands him a plate and goes to the table, sighing as she sits.] You either need to focus more or you need to focus less, but you probably won't know which until you try them both [she considers, and takes a bite.
Which means he will have to loose the Walrider, and that's not ideal, but there wasn't any other way.]
Maybe practice should happen outside the city. I can give you a hand, if you want.
no subject
[Loosing the Walrider was already like letting a hellhound off-leash. Doing it around someone he'd already nearly juiced? Out of the question. He follows her and sits down.]
You're kidding, right? That sounds like you want me to go full nanites on you outside city walls. No way.
no subject
Would you rather go full Walrider on me inside the city? Again? At least outside the city you're less likely to hurt anyone who hasn't volunteered. Besides, I've got the armor, I've got Vee, and I've got Shadow Magic. We can recruit some other people to help you put the safeties on, but you can't keep wrecking tech every time you trip out on righteous anger, Miles.