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Entry tags:
text; anonymous (backdated to may 25)
Daseng.
Attacking the innocent and helpless as a demonstration of might is the province of the cowardly and craven. Only those who know their ideas and beliefs are built on shaky ground resort to such tactics rather than discussing their truths in the cold light of day.
Y᷆o᷅ů h̓a͘v᷾e͑ m̗a᷈d̳e͒ mͫȧn̻y̦ p͚o᷾w̻e᷁r᷁f̛ùlͮ eͨn͉e̓m͌i̔e̓s̼ t̴oͩd̔a͘y᷂.̗
Pͦ᷉̾e͚ͮͅr͐͌᷀h̴᷿ͧa̩̼ͅp̣̜᷀s̴͖͠ t̫̯ͫhͥ̄ͥe̸̶᷂ o̘̦ͥn̲᷁͜e͎᷉᷀ y͙̾͛o̪͓ͤu̘͚̙ s̟̋ͣh̠͙͡o̞᷆͊u̇ͥ͜l̼ͩ͋d̊̐͝ f͈̲̕ę̷᷄a̠͐͟r̯̱̍ t͖̥͢h᷾̓͜e̐̐̐ m̳̱̀o̴̗̅s̫̄̈́t̹͖̆ ȋ̦᷁s̡̾͆ m͂ͥ͠e͇ͣ͐.̸̦̏
[And Miles will not be responding to anything, because the nanite interference from his anger-summoning of the Walrider Swarm while he wrote this has hecked up his radio so badly that it's basically a brick now.]
[Three-quarters of an hour later, private video to Pepper from a console in the Hotel:]
...I think I broke my phone.
[He looks tired and drawn, but there's still a spark of anger deep in his eyes.]
Attacking the innocent and helpless as a demonstration of might is the province of the cowardly and craven. Only those who know their ideas and beliefs are built on shaky ground resort to such tactics rather than discussing their truths in the cold light of day.
Y᷆o᷅ů h̓a͘v᷾e͑ m̗a᷈d̳e͒ mͫȧn̻y̦ p͚o᷾w̻e᷁r᷁f̛ùlͮ eͨn͉e̓m͌i̔e̓s̼ t̴oͩd̔a͘y᷂.̗
Pͦ᷉̾e͚ͮͅr͐͌᷀h̴᷿ͧa̩̼ͅp̣̜᷀s̴͖͠ t̫̯ͫhͥ̄ͥe̸̶᷂ o̘̦ͥn̲᷁͜e͎᷉᷀ y͙̾͛o̪͓ͤu̘͚̙ s̟̋ͣh̠͙͡o̞᷆͊u̇ͥ͜l̼ͩ͋d̊̐͝ f͈̲̕ę̷᷄a̠͐͟r̯̱̍ t͖̥͢h᷾̓͜e̐̐̐ m̳̱̀o̴̗̅s̫̄̈́t̹͖̆ ȋ̦᷁s̡̾͆ m͂ͥ͠e͇ͣ͐.̸̦̏
[And Miles will not be responding to anything, because the nanite interference from his anger-summoning of the Walrider Swarm while he wrote this has hecked up his radio so badly that it's basically a brick now.]
[Three-quarters of an hour later, private video to Pepper from a console in the Hotel:]
...I think I broke my phone.
[He looks tired and drawn, but there's still a spark of anger deep in his eyes.]
no subject
That've been better if you brought actual pizza. Nice try, though.
[There is recently boiled water in the kettle and mugs out on the counter when she leads him back to the kitchen.]
Pick whatever kind of tea you like. I'm gonna make a sandwich if you want one. [They were easy to make and eat and simple enough to do almost mindlessly while being the right kind of distracting. The way she says it - not quite an order and yet not entirely a question - she plans to make him eat something that isn't just sugary dessert regardless. Sugar crash is not fun.]
no subject
I can only do so much, unfortunately, [he says, and follows her to the kitchen.
Uh-oh. He feels like he's been tricked into eating actual food. He's heard that tone before.] ...I guess I could probably have some protein. [He picks some tea and begins to make it. Tea fixes everything.]
no subject
There will still be gelato but neither of us can operate on sugar all the time, and if I'm getting scolded about eating and sleeping I'm going to pass it on to other people. You'll thank me later.
[The protein is like a slightly gamier turkey and there is some kind of lettuce (probably from the new hydroponic crop) that she uses to begin constructing what resembles an actual meal.]
How hard is it to control, when you're angry? ['It' being the Walrider, of course. Having some kind of benchmark here could be useful for future reference.]
no subject
When she asks, though, he pauses in making the tea (he'd picked out something similar to mint).] I don't know. I mean...when Kylo stabbed me, it chased him, but it didn't really hurt him. I didn't want it to hurt him. And I was...in control, when I was affected by the Dust. That wasn't really anger, though. I was scared. And that became anger later, I guess. But I knew what I was doing the whole time. I was acting out of...self-preservation, I guess. I thought you were a threat.
[He shifts from foot to foot.] Just now, with the phone...I don't know if I was in control or not. It's like I was just letting it happen. [He's kind of ashamed of that.]
I'm not exactly open to the idea of tests, [he says.] Not totally cool with being an experiment.
no subject
...Kylo stabbed you? Why? When? [It's probably too late to arrest him, but the idea is out there. Pepper listens, her brow pinched into a small frown.] So, it sounds like a lot of it is instinctive reactions. Self-defense is normal. Just letting it go isn't great, obviously, but you didn't wreck the building.
[She pauses, staring at the half-made sandwiches as though they contain the answer to great mysteries. Miles has the potential to be extraordinarily dangerous, and he needs to get a handle on that, is possible. For his own sanity as much as safety.]
I wasn't gonna suggest tests. I was gonna suggest practice.
no subject
[Then he looks a bit sheepish.] I kind of...called his grandfather a punk-ass bitch. And he took exception to that. I'm right, though.
[He sighs.] Heather's teaching me how to meditate, so that's helping...but I guess it's not helping too much when I get this pissed-off.
no subject
[She finishes the sandwiches and puts one on a plate for Miles.] Try not to get yourself stabbed again, I've heard it hurts a lot. Whether you're right or wrong. Meditating'll probably help, like, in the long run, but after this you should work on a game plan for when you don't have time to sit around and say 'ohm'.
I'm so glad you used that
And yeah; I do need some better anger management plans, I guess. Otherwise I'm no better than Darth Dumbass. [He rolls his eyes.]
I couldn't not
You seem to at least want to control yourself better. [Pepper hands him a plate and goes to the table, sighing as she sits.] You either need to focus more or you need to focus less, but you probably won't know which until you try them both [she considers, and takes a bite.
Which means he will have to loose the Walrider, and that's not ideal, but there wasn't any other way.]
Maybe practice should happen outside the city. I can give you a hand, if you want.
no subject
[Loosing the Walrider was already like letting a hellhound off-leash. Doing it around someone he'd already nearly juiced? Out of the question. He follows her and sits down.]
You're kidding, right? That sounds like you want me to go full nanites on you outside city walls. No way.
no subject
Would you rather go full Walrider on me inside the city? Again? At least outside the city you're less likely to hurt anyone who hasn't volunteered. Besides, I've got the armor, I've got Vee, and I've got Shadow Magic. We can recruit some other people to help you put the safeties on, but you can't keep wrecking tech every time you trip out on righteous anger, Miles.