002 ≅ [video/ENCRYPTED 100% TO TURTLES/PRIVATE NETWORK POST]

[boselfdestruct]

[This is backdated to the early part of mid-March, before the event.]

[Don takes a deep breath on-screen and flashes a quick, tense smile. He looks nervous, but under that a little haggard. It's what happens when he's spent the last two days going over his encryption algorithm line-by-line, repeatedly, and adjusting it for video usage. And then going over it again. And again. The upside is anyone taking on the task of attempting to hack this is going to get the full brunt of puzzling out Don's aggravated, sleep-deprived mind. This is about as full-proof as he can get with the equipment available to him. It'll have to do.]

Right, hello. If you're getting this, it's because you're a, well...[he gestures to himself, and aside from that his hands stay more-or-less abnormally still for the rest of conversation, a sign of discomfort that might only register to his own Raph] a mutant turtle, like me, and from a similar dimension. Don't worry about anyone not invited seeing this. I'm handling that.

So...you might have been told about this already, but I'll rehash just in case. This is mostly just a place to talk. No pressure or anything, but we just can't keep ignoring one another forever. There are too many of us running around already for that to be plausible, and it's not like there's any guarantee it's ever going to stop. The least we can do is know who's who. [so, in other words, if you want to make sure any of your wayward brothers showing up are pointed in the right direction? SPEAK UP.]

[Don pauses, reaching up to tug at his plastron absentmindedly] I...guess I'll start? My name's Donatello. I'm fifteen. I'm from the same universe as the more recently arrived Raphael. If you think of anything about your homes that might be useful to know, no matter how innocuous you think it is, go ahead and lay it on me. Every little bit helps. So far we've noticed that appearance and age are two of the bigger distinguishing characteristics among us, which is why I recommend using video, but if you're too nervous then it's text. Heck, covering up the camera works just as well. Avoid actual audio mode, if by some weird quirk of electronics you can actually access it. I tried to make sure you couldn't, but you never know, and I don't want anyone yelling at me later because I didn't mention it. Point is, it's not supported right now, and anyone using it could crack this thing open like a bad egg. Which would be, you know, bad.

[Leo take it now Leo take it now before he pours his uneasiness into a babble about his baby go go go someone]

Comments

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

Donnie!

[YOU IDIOT NOW LEO KNOWS THEIR REAL AGE]

video;

[michaeljangelo]

HA! I knew it!

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

Shut up Mikey.

video;

[michaeljangelo]

Not likely, no.

[Then he just laughs...a lot.
You miss him already, don't you Raph?]

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

[no

what he misses is a ready-made punching bag]

Okay let's try this again; shut up Mikey or I'm gonna smack the taste outta your mouth.

video;

[michaeljangelo]

[Let's be honest here, he also misses the cookies.]




You're awfully cute when you're angry.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

[NO HE DOES NOT

HE DOESN'T MISS HAVING A DECENT MEAL MADE FROM VIRTUALLY NOTHING

NOT IN THE LEAST]

Cute?!

Mikey, the next time I see you I'm gonna shove my cute little fist so far down your throat that I could clothesline your freakin' lungs!

video;

[michaeljangelo]

[The Flat Broke Gourmet, coming soon to a console near you!]

So you do admit that you are both cute and little.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

I WILL KILL YOU MIKEY

[aaaand he disconnects from the feed. uh oh.]

video;

[michaeljangelo]

[Mike laughs.
For a good ten count Mike laughs.

...

That is until realization dawns.]

great googly moogly. he's on his way over here isn't he?


BATTLE STATIONS! DIVE DIVE DIVE!

[Mike disappears from the screen, but can be heard in the background prepping his suite for an invasion via a hostile force.]

video; FROM MIKEY'S IP ADDRESS

[seriouslytwisted]

[And in the background there is the distinct sound of a door being kicked down as Raphael tears into the apartment. He crosses in front of the shot briefly-]

GET OUT HERE YOU LITTLE-

[-before disappearing in the direction Mikey had fled. Yup, they're getting along just fine.]

video;

[michaeljangelo]

[There's a crash from off screen, which is quickly followed by what sounds like a Daffy Duck hoohohooo impression, and then another crash.

Mike streaks across the screen again.]

Who you calling little, Short Stack?

video;

[boselfdestruct]

Guys! Come on!

[LEO THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY]

video;

[boselfdestruct]

It's not like he didn't already know! Really, why did you pick that age? We don't even look eighteen.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

How do you not understand?!

They're eighteen.

video;

[boselfdestruct]

And saying we're eighteen doesn't magically give us three years of experience. Of course I don't understand!

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

I swear to God.

You are the dumbest egghead I know.

video;

[boselfdestruct]

Okay. Explain it to me. What was going through your head when you decided to claim three years of life and combat experience you don't have. I'm sure that couldn't have turned around and bitten us in the shell at all.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

[STOP REPEATING THAT DONATELLO HOLY FUCK]

Oh, you're asking me to explain something to you. Be still, my heart.

video;

[boselfdestruct]

Asking you to explain how your brain even functions? Yes, please. Go for it.

[Don crosses his arms and cocks an eye ridge expectantly]

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

[...he can't say it here... Or at all.]

Forget it. I don't care anymore.

video;

[boselfdestruct]

[...Don sighs and drops his arms]

Fine, but Mike's sixteen and he doesn't seem to ha-

Wait, bad example.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

Yeah.

[Bad example is right.]

Give it a rest Donnie, I said I don't care anymore.

video;

[boselfdestruct]

All right, have it your way. I still don't see why it's such a big deal.

video;

[seriouslytwisted]

Yeah, well, you don't have to get it.

[Leo would have gotten it.

...okay that's unfair, Donnie would probably get it if Raph would explain, but Raph doesn't want to explain and even if Donnie understood, it's unlikely that he'd agree. Maybe he wouldn't even sympathize.

Whatever. Donnie doesn't have a double here, it's not his problem.]