tushanshu | 03 [Video; backdated to the day before Landfall]

[Walter appears again, wearing a white lab coat as usual, in front of his blackboard.]

Dear friends! It seems our chelonopolis has its mind set on visiting the landmass in sight. Some of you may remember my proposed plan from my previous transmission:

[He takes a step back and flips the blackboard around, revealing that he has not wiped away the chalk from last time:

OPERATION "BRINGING HOME THE BACON"

1) ACQUIRING PIGS

2) AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE

3) SYNTHETIC PIGS

He picks up the chalk and draws a circle around 1) ACQUIRING PIGS.]

I aim to mount an expedition to the landmass to determine whether any specimens of pig can be secured. All assistance or advice in this endeavour would be appreciated. If you wish to volunteer for the expedition, or if you have any information or experience in porcine acquisition, let me know.

For the record, I have no plans to engage in illegal activity to secure the specimens. So far we've only determined the legality of interdimensional pig rustling, moreover, it would be very bad manners.

[OOC: Landfall thread]

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[Oh. Well now, this is something Scott can definitely get behind.]

You can count me in. [He misses bacon and ham, okay.] Anything in particular I need to do before we set off?

Welcome aboard, young man!

If we end up encountering some locals who want to trade, we may need something to barter in return. Trinkets, knick-knacks perhaps. If we can rustle up anything we don't need but that could be used for trade, that would be wonderful.

We'll also have to think about the mechanics of actually finding and capturing a pig if they exist in the wild. Do you have... [Walter sighs slightly] Do you have any superpowers? Can you cast magic spells? [Everyone else on this turtle seems to take such things for granted!]

[Mentally, Scott makes a list of all the things he could possibly trade away for pigs should they find them. There's...not a whole lot apart from his tribble cages, truth be told, but he's got some spare parts left, he thinks.]

I could always make something or other, if you think there's something specific they'd be interested in.

[As for that other question....Scott purses his lips.]

Don't have anything useful like magic but I can shrink down to a really really small size. Like, microscopic. It'd be no problem getting into the pig's inner ear and stunning it, if that's what we need to do.

[Walter raises an eyebrow. The scientific implications are swirling in his mind!]

I... but... How do you breathe? How can your lungs work in that state? What about the hemoglobin?!

[OOC: Landfall thread!]

I...I guess it all shrinks down with me? I've never really thought about it. It just--works.

[Said with oh so much uncertainty because dammit he's an engineer, not a biologist.]

[ooc: thank you! I will hit that up soon!]

I'll walk around with you if you need.

[Because Lincoln would have wanted him to. :c]

That would be very helpful! Thank you! Do you have any particular skills I should know about? [OOC: Landfall thread]

I don't know. I was trained as a cop and I grew up in a tough neighborhood, so I can handle anything that gets too rough.

[Here is your neighbor, ready to go.] Okay, so we're prepared to walk around to find some pigs. We'll need to find something to take the pig back with us... do you think we could find leashes here? Maybe a harness so that we can just walk it back onto the turtle?

[Walter opens his mouth, then closes it. He obviously hasn't thought about it at all.]

Can't we just... herd them? Pigs are herded, right? [He squints.] Maybe we need a dog?

I think dogs would work, but then that means we have to find a dog. [A dog was almost like a pig, here. Not right.]

I think we could herd them. How many do we need, if it's one, then that's easy, but we need more then one.

There are no dogs? [Walter scratches his head.] I hadn't noticed.

But yes. We definitely need more than one pig. A whole herd, or whatever you call a quantity of pigs, would be ideal. If you have only one pig, you are inevitably going to have to find another one! Even Noah figured that out, although, admittedly, that was probably based on some Mesopotamian old wives' tale... but old wives are often right!

Where was I? Yes. Well, at least we need the rope. I think pigs can be walked? Miniature pet pigs certainly can. [Now if only we had tiny galoshes for them as well.]

What if they have pigs for sale? Do you have any ideas on what we could barter to them?

None that I've seen. But okay, a herd of pigs. We can create a herd of pigs, so long as we have two pigs. Might take some time, but we could do it. Create a pig pen for them.

[Hm.] I'm sure pigs can be walked. We should make harnesses of some kind. Stretchy ones, so they fit all sizes of pigs.

...I have a friend who's making some amulet kind of things. They like bartering more then money, apparently, so if we find anything they could use... maybe some kind of little gadgets. We have plenty of those.

03 [Video; backdated to the day before Landfall]

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