[console]

[no_light]

[Oh look, it's Kylo Ren and he is looking grumpy. Wow. This has never happened before.]

If anybody knows a small annoying green creature with green hair, could you point me her way? I need to speak to her about something important.

[He hesitates before continuing, frowning at the camera for a while and apparently struggling with himself.]

I take it nobody knows what became of Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker and Galen Marek. I found their houses abandoned.

[And then it's back to annoyance again, since there is one more thing he might as well address while has everybody's attention.] As for the person who thought it amusing to send me flowers: I don't appreciate you littering my house with weeds.

Comments

voice;

[sensitively]

[ staying with audio for the moment, because she's not entirely sure she trusts herself to have a non-confrontational conversation over video with him, just yet.

also, she's totally stalking that conversation with Poe. mainly to keep an eye on the developments, so she knows there's no further strangling/shooting going on. ]

Their houses were — abandoned? You can't be serious; stop lying.

[ for all three of them to have disappeared, and so suddenly, seems downright suspicious. then — ]

...What did you do, to them.

[no_light]

[ Oops, he should have remembered to make that one private, he will live to regret his negligence.

But right now he's a little bit too busy being utterly indignant. ]

I didn't do anything to them! That's typical of you, scavenger, wildly flinging about accusations! [ He is sweetness. He is innocence. Watch him be cruelly misjudged! ]

It's not my fault that you misplaced your fellow Jedi!

[sensitively]

I didn't misplace them. It's not my fault they're gone - I hadn't even met Anakin. [ she'd only heard he was in Tu Vishan from Padme, and she had been anticipating having a run-in with him; there had been so many things she'd wanted to ask him. so many things to know. and now she wouldn't. ]

You're certain you had nothing to do with it? You of all people would want the Jedi gone from here.

[no_light]

[ And here's a growl, he really doesn't have the patience for this today, not with this confrontation distracting him from his hunt for the photograph.

This accusation, though, it's just so ludicrous, though she can't know just how ludicrous. As if he would have ever killed Darth Vader... ]

Anakin Skywalker is my grandfather, scavenger! Meeting him didn't go as I'd hoped for, but I would never wish him harm, or fight him! He is the greatest Sith to have ever lived.

[sensitively]

[ there's a hiss of breath from Rey upon realizing it. it's been a while since she'd heard the stories, but yes, she does recall now that Anakin Skywalker had been Leia's father, just as he was Luke's. and that made Kylo Ren, Darth Vader's grandson.

which makes the unadulterated fear she'd seen in his head - that he wouldn't live up to being as strong as his grandfather - all the more interesting. ]

Did you speak to him, when he was here? To Anakin?

[no_light]

[ For a long time there is nothing to be heard but his own harsh breathing. He's struggling with himself, and the desire to run, just as he ran when she invaded his mind and laid bare his insecurities. ]

I did. Once. [ He gulps. It hadn't gone well. ] Anakin Skywalker is nothing like the Darth Vader I met here before. I see this now.

video;

[sensitively]

[ she flips it to the video feature, because she can sense from his breathing that he's agitated. this way she can hold his gaze; perhaps even dissuade him from running. ]

Because he wasn't Sith, yet. He was still a Jedi. You met him while he was still of the Light, still with his wife, Padme.

What did he say to you? [ oh, how she wished she'd had the opportunity to speak to him, herself. ]

Re: video;

[no_light]

[ He's startled when the screen comes to life, and indeed it ties him to the console. He's never been able to resist watching the effects of his words on her face. She's so incredibly expressive, it's enchanting. ]

He told me that he will never become a Sith, he refuses. He thought that mere willpower can defy fate. [ He pauses for a moment. ] He has a lot in common with you.

[sensitively]

[ the feeling's mutual, Ren. she understands now very well why he'd worn a mask; his face is so sensitive it gives away everything he's feeling.

she wonders just what it took for Anakin to make the fall to the Dark side that he did, given his vehement denial to Ren. but the last thing he tells her makes her react, indulging him with her widened eyes and indignantly-parted lips. ]

— What? Why do you say that?

I have nothing in common with the Skywalkers. I'm just — [ a scavenger? no one? she can't use those terms to define her, any longer. ]

— just not like them.

[no_light]

[ He smirks in triumph, though there is little to feel triumphant about beyond having made her react at all. Sometimes that's good enough for him. ]

Scared now, girl? Don't feel too flattered, I didn't mean it kindly. They are fools who blind themselves to the true power of the Force - blinded by their unquestioning obedience to outdated Jedi doctrines. You would not wish to be compared to them if you were smarter.

[ If she had taken him up on his offer. If she would. There's still a chance, with all Jedi but his uncle gone, and his uncle barely any older than Rey herself. ]

[sensitively]

I'm not scared. [ not of what he says, nor that smirk — as intriguing as it is. but she is a little discomfited by the comparison. ]

I just don't see any similarity between myself and Anakin Skywalker. He fell to the Dark — I won't.

[ even as she says it with defiance, she's aware Anakin had probably said the same thing. ]

[no_light]

Funny, that's the exact same thing my grandfather told me. But I'm sure you will do so much better than the Chosen One, a proper Temple-trained Jedi.

[ He arches his brows, giving her a mock innocent look. ]

Dark and Light don't even matter here. The war isn't being fought here. This place is one of learning, and gaining power to those who are brave enough to take the opportunity. You would do look beyond your naive preconceptions of good and evil.

[sensitively]

[ there's logic in his words that she can't argue with, that she realizes. in her frustration, she resorts to a painful dig. ]

I suppose you think it naive then, to disapprove of killing one's own father.

[ then, in a quieter, more plaintive voice — because she truly wants to understand, if there's a reason she can comprehend for him doing it — ]

— Did Snoke tell you to? Was it his command for you to do so? You said you knew what it was that you were tasked with, but not whether you'd have the strength to do it.

Was it to give yourself fully to the Dark? [ there's a note of urgency to her voice now. she needs to know. ] Was it a pact?

[no_light]

[ His nostrils flare as he inhales sharply, eyes first narrowing at her face on the console before he looks away altogether. There's a scowl on his face, the beginning of an angry flush. He's only glad his hands aren't visible on screen. This way she can't see them shaking. ]

Whatever it was, it was none of your business. [ He's grinding out the words, holding on to his temper with nothing but sheer determination. Unwilling to show just how critical the hit she landed is. ]

You think you are entitled to Han Solo's legacy because you piloted his ship once. You are nothing. He would have disappointed you. [ He snorts angrily. ] Be glad I killed him before he could prove himself less than the hero he was in your eyes.

[sensitively]

[ there's a part — she doesn't want to think about what that part is, or where it comes from — of Rey that relishes in his fury, in how easily she can push that button and rile him to anger enough that she can get this kind of reaction from him.

but that part is quickly drowned out by his insults not only toward her, but to Han. ]

How dare you say that about him. He may not have been perfect and I don't have the experience to know if he was, but he came back for you on Starkiller. Because he loved you.

[no_light]

[ He snarls, body vibrating with tension and fury which can't find a proper release right now. ]

He didn't! He has never loved me! [ He's sneering at the mere thought, and yet he knows the very rage he's showing gives away that he isn't as indifferent as he'd like to believe. But he can't stop it, either, he's never been able to suppress his strong emotions. ] He came back for himself, for his own vanity and pride, and maybe to soothe his guilt, but he didn't do it for me.

[ Unable to bear it any longer he takes to pacing. ]

Han Solo has never come back for me, and he never would. You're a fool to believe otherwise... but he's always been good at fooling people. They both are.

[sensitively]

He would, and he did! [ her own rage spikes up and flares to life when his does, but Rey manages somehow to keep it in check to continue to talk to him. ]

You believe he did it for his own vanity and to soothe his own guilt, but there's one thing you haven't considered, Ren, in your emotional tirade and your consistent denial.

[no_light]

And what's that, scavenger? What is it I haven't considered? Please enlighten me, since you are such an expert on my state of mind. [ Oh yes, so much sarcasm now, so much hostility dripping from his voice. He's raging, utterly helplessly, and his rage burns all the hotter for having nowhere to go. ]

Are you going to tell me I forgot that he loves me? Are you going to talk about the magic of family bonds and blood being stronger than water? Because trust me, scavenger, I'd rather have water running in my veins than their blood!

[sensitively]

That he knew he was going to his death, when he stepped out onto that walkbridge and called your name. He made himself vulnerable, when he could have set the detonators and ran — he went out into the open to confront you.

He wasn't stupid — [ her voice quiets, brows knitting as though she's thinking it through ] — he knew that there was a good chance something was going to happen to him, and he did it regardless of the danger to himself.

[ there's a flicker of memory of Han, pressing his open hand gently to his son's face not a moment after Ren had run him through. ] And perhaps he knew what it was that he was doing...how it would have affected you, afterwards.

[ because if this reaction of Ren's tells anything, it's that he still has far too much pent-up fury surrounding his father and his family in general. ]

You meant to eliminate something within yourself by killing him...only it didn't work, did it.

[no_light]

Of course it worked! I am free ifbhim. I have cut the ties that weakened me. My Master has recognized my sacrifice and strength of will and he has finally consented to complete my training. I am stronger than I have ever been before and I don't regret a thing!

[And that is of course the source of his agitation and the ever more frantic pacing, or the glimpses Rey will get of him tugging violently at his hair. He wants to destroy the console... But then her voice will be gone and he only has his own demons left for company.]

He... He did what he thought would help. But he was wrong. It was far too late. He should not have come. I didn't want him to come I never wanted this why didn't you stop him?!

[sensitively]

— I didn't ask him to come! [ her voice is nearly as hysterical as his now, tears threatening the edge of it — as upsetting a topic as it is already, it's made more so by seeing him vent his own anger upon himself, and the realization that she's hit a little closer to home with her accusation than she'd thought she had.

Ren has regrets. she knows this, now, knows it in her bones as much as she knows anything about herself, and the shared pain from her own sadness and his despair is almost overwhelming. ]

I couldn't have stopped him from coming, either, because you'd abducted me! Believe me, if it'd been up to me I would have never let him near you, but... [ the tears slip freely down her face, now, and her hysteria subsides somewhat. ] ...he wouldn't have listened to me anyway, you know this.

You know him. Far better than I ever could.

[no_light]

But I don't know him at all. [ And he sounds so bitter about it, and so very defeated, even the restless anger is calming for a moment as he is overcome by bone-deep weariness. ] I don't know if I've ever known him, but if I did it was twenty years ago.

[ He sinks down on the chair placed in front of the console, and glances at her. Yes, there are the tears he'd heard in her voice, and it sends a pang through him. Hurt, still, that she feels she has any right to shed tears over Han Solo, that his father had given her the right to feel such grief when Kylo had lost his so many years ago... And yet it feels almost good, as good as anything could feel when nothing is good, to know someone shares his grief. How long has it been since he had that?

He sighs heavily. ] I don't know what you were told, but my family broke apart long before I... left. I don't know if we were ever not broken. My father and I did not know another... [ He snorts derisively. ] He could barely ever stand me at all.

[sensitively]

[ Rey sniffles away her tears almost petulantly, processing what he tells her. Han was his father — how could he not have known him? but he goes on to tell her that his family had been broken, that he hadn't seen his father in years, long before he'd gone to train with Luke she assumed.

so many years gone by without communication — what would that have done to someone? she thought; would it have been a similar feeling of abandonment, as she'd felt? Ren had grown up in luxury in contrast to her, with his mother at least, but his life had been no more emotionally stable than her own.

she stares at him through the feed, still disbelieving but with the cold reality of his words sinking in; her voice cracks over the words. ] How do you know he couldn't stand you? How do you know it wasn't some other reason that he left, when you were young — perhaps it was because of something else, someone else...

[ she's not sure how she's come to this point, where she realizes with a twinge of horror that she's empathizing with Kylo Ren — but she can see his grief, can feel it through that strange, tenuous bond they share... and if there is anything she fully understands, it's having someone not there when she's needed them. ]

[no_light]

[ There's a special horror to looking at your enemy and recognising something of yourself in them - a horror Kylo has already known on the Finalizer.

But right now he doesn't connect her loneliness and feelings of abandonment to his own, not quite yet; he's too caught up in the firm belief that nobody will ever empathize, or even care to try. ]

There was always something for sure... races to win, adventures to have. Just like my mother was married to politics.

[ Giving away far more than he ever intended to, but it's been so long... and once you start unraveling this, it's hard to stop and walk away. Even if he knows Rey is the last person he should share it with. ]

I don't know what picture you have of my family, scavenger, but... [ He stands up again. ] It doesn't matter. Believe what you will.

[sensitively]

— No, wait, [ she finds herself saying when he stands to his feet, before she can even stop herself; ] — I don't have a picture of your family. It was your family, not mine; I know that. I've only known your parents for a fraction of an instant of their lives.

But I want to know more. I don't want to believe something that isn't the truth. That's all I've ever wanted, was to know the truth — even if it hurts, even if it's something I didn't want to know. [ like Maz Kanata, in the basement of her castle, holding her hand in her tiny withered ones and gently telling her the truth she'd denied to herself for so long, that her family had never planned to retrieve her from her hell on Jakku.

she scrubs the last vestiges of her tears away with her fists, looking at him afterward with determination. ] I just don't want to be lied to, any longer.