[audio]

[takeittothemax]

[There’s still some hustling and bustling going on in the background as he gets himself settled. Moving in days. Always a classic. The audio wavers in and out, as if he’s moving around as he speaks into the computer.]

Usually my dreams have more blondes in them. [Some muttering that peters out. More distinctly:] Serves me right, trying to catch a nap on the job. [Sigh x2. He brightens up eventually, though.] Ah, well. There’s no use weeping about it just yet. [If he says things could be worse, they immediately will. So he cuts himself off and moves on.]

Does anyone know if a Dr. Fate’s here? This seems right up his alley. Although I think he stopped taking my calls... can’t imagine why. [Yes he can.]

[More focused on the computer now. From here on out, the audio is much clearer. Finally took a seat, apparently.]

Right, introductions. I’m Maxwell Lord, but most people go with Max. If anyone’s in need of work, I think I can provide.

Well. Soon enough, anyway. I’ll keep you posted.

Now, how do I turn this thing off...

[Oh, there’s the button. Click.]

Comments

[takeittothemax]

Not unless there's a merger I'm not aware of, no. But the first one's right on the money.

[backinakidflash]

Sorry, I don't read the business section much.

[takeittothemax]

Right, was there something else you wanted? Besides popping in to say hi.

[backinakidflash]

Nah. I'm friendly. It's not a crime, ya know. I was gonna tell you Dr. Fate wasn't here, but somebody beat me to it.

[takeittothemax]

Well. What else is there to talk about? Besides the... trapped in another dimension issue.

[backinakidflash]

Have you seen this place? Trapped in another dimension isn't one issue; it's a whole katamari of problems. Starting with how I still want to know what the giant turtle eats.

[takeittothemax]

...Good question. Maybe it's whatever small turtles eat, only bigger...

[backinakidflash]

See, that's the thing. Turtles eat worms, shrimp, snails, fish... how big is the rest of the wildlife to feed this thing?

[takeittothemax]

How big do space fish usually run?

[backinakidflash]

Space fish are kinda a new one for me.

[Space fish are now on the list of things to ask Kyle about.]

From the size of this place? Bigger than you or me.

[takeittothemax]

Better space fish than space squid, I'm guessing.

[If you just add 'space' to everything, surely it must exist, right?]

But I think we can take them off the list of problems for now.

[backinakidflash]

[Space sharks are going to stay with him awhile.]

Yeah, the list of future problems gets longer by the second.

[takeittothemax]

What is it this time? Alien invasion? Zombies? We're all out of coffee?

[backinakidflash]

[Well, now that you mention it... Uh-uh, not going there. But thanks for the third option.]

Caffeine addicts. I haven't looked for coffee, but the food's different than what I'm used to. You might be outta luck.

[takeittothemax]

...How different are we talking?

[backinakidflash]

Like, we are not in Kansas anymore. Or I'm not. You're not - wherever it was that you're from. Probably Metropolis.

It's way heavy on the seafood, speaking of space fish, and it's pretty heavily rationed.

[takeittothemax]

At the moment? Queens, actually.

Oh. Right. I'd heard about that. [Did cigars count as luxury items?] Is there a reason why?

[backinakidflash]

I hate going back to the turtle thing, but... I think it's the turtle thing. If you go out of the city, you can find the shell. It's pretty, once you get over feeling like an amoeba.

[takeittothemax]

I'm just going to assume the turtle thing is the answer to a lot of things...

[backinakidflash]

I think my current order of explanations is now 1, turtle; 2, time travel; and 3, Wizard did it.

[4 is none of your business. BECAUSE IT'S YOU.]

[takeittothemax]

Must be a very ticked off wizard, then.

[backinakidflash]

Have you ever read The Lord of the Rings or the Earthsea cycle? Wizards be crazy.

[takeittothemax]

Right, so we'd need a hat and staff collection ordinance.

[backinakidflash]

Better be safe and burn all the wands and spindles too.

[takeittothemax]

Let's just be safe and invite all the evil fairies to any parties from now on.