[audio]

[takeittothemax]

[There’s still some hustling and bustling going on in the background as he gets himself settled. Moving in days. Always a classic. The audio wavers in and out, as if he’s moving around as he speaks into the computer.]

Usually my dreams have more blondes in them. [Some muttering that peters out. More distinctly:] Serves me right, trying to catch a nap on the job. [Sigh x2. He brightens up eventually, though.] Ah, well. There’s no use weeping about it just yet. [If he says things could be worse, they immediately will. So he cuts himself off and moves on.]

Does anyone know if a Dr. Fate’s here? This seems right up his alley. Although I think he stopped taking my calls... can’t imagine why. [Yes he can.]

[More focused on the computer now. From here on out, the audio is much clearer. Finally took a seat, apparently.]

Right, introductions. I’m Maxwell Lord, but most people go with Max. If anyone’s in need of work, I think I can provide.

Well. Soon enough, anyway. I’ll keep you posted.

Now, how do I turn this thing off...

[Oh, there’s the button. Click.]

Comments

[takeittothemax]

[See! Totally can handle this. Yep. Knew it.]

Oh. Well. Alright, fair enough.

So what's the day job? [Beat] Night job?

[backwordscompatible]

[Right. Sure. Except she's been spending enough time around certain bats that paranoia was starting to become a thing with her. And abruptly changing the subject without further explanation? Nope. Not letting that slide just yet. Not with what was potentially at stake.]

Magician.

[Her tone is dull and dry and could easily be mistaken for sarcastic if one didn't know better.]

You still haven't explained how you know about the Helmet.

Who exactly are you? And don't just give me a name. I heard that one the first time.

[takeittothemax]

[Maybe L-Ron was right about the death lasers...]

Oh, I ran the Justice League for awhile over in this neck of the woods. He kinda helped us out a couple times. That's about it, really.

[backwordscompatible]

[...]

[And then she wasn't sure if this guy was serious or simply returning the sarcasm]

You?

[takeittothemax]

Yep. Long story, trust me.

[backwordscompatible]

So, if I call up Superman...or any other League member I know, they'll verify this?

[Not bluffing; half of them were basically on her console equivalent of speed dial]

[takeittothemax]

I'd try J'onn first, if he's here.

[Not bluffing, either.]

[backwordscompatible]

He's not.

[As far as she knew. And neither was M'gann, who could've scanned his mind to figure out if he was lying.]

Why you?

[A legitimate question this time. Less insulting and more curious.]

[takeittothemax]

Oh.

[Man, he kinda misses him, now that you've mentioned it. There's a shrug, though.]

Weaseled my way into the group up at the start, stopped being that much of an ass, the big guns said I could stick around, and there you go.

[backwordscompatible]

[That was the best story ever.]

[Except not at all. Because it didn't tell her much.]

What can you do?

[Powers. No powers. Fighting abilities. Intellect. There had to be something, right?]

[takeittothemax]

Keep them from wracking up too much property damage, mostly. I used to be able to do this persuasion thing with my head, but that fizzled out a long, long time ago.

[backwordscompatible]

Mind control?

[takeittothemax]

More 'get me coffee' than 'dance puppets dance', but kinda, yeah.

[backwordscompatible]

[That would explain a lot. If she were to go ahead and start making assumptions now.]

Word of advice: stay out of people's heads here. Mine, especially.

[takeittothemax]

Being more machine than man tends to yank your powers away. But, you know, will do.

[And that other thing that happened, with the possession, but let's not think about that right now nope.]

[backwordscompatible]

You're doing that thing again. Where you say something, and you probably think it means sense...but not really.

What do you mean "being more machine"?

[takeittothemax]

Went all cyborg back in the [90s] day. Not really good for much, unless you need a can opener, but there you go. That about everything?

[backwordscompatible]

...give or take.

You don't look like a Cyborg.

[takeittothemax]

What, guys can't get plastic surgery?

[backwordscompatible]

Wouldn't it technically be metal surgery?

[...somebody tell her to stop before she starts breaking out the puns again.]

[takeittothemax]

Technically, yeah, but that one's not covered under our insurance plan.

[Hey with puns like that you probably have a shot in this League.]

[backwordscompatible]

[Please, Max.]

[She's way out of your league.]

You've been cheated. If I were you, I'd get your manager on the phone, ASAP.

[takeittothemax]

[Oh come on!

Batman once thought we were cool!

Kinda.]

First thing I do when I get back, trust me.

[backwordscompatible]

[...don't even get her started on "Batman". That's a whole 'nother can of words she's not getting into with a stranger]

In the meantime, welcome to Turtle Land. It's like Disney Land, only with less rides and more hostility.

On the bright side, fewer waits in line.

[takeittothemax]

Does it come with overpriced souvenirs too?