tushanshu | ✦ 008 ✦ [VIDEO]

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✦ 008 ✦ [VIDEO]

[It takes several on-camera seconds before Zatanna can finally figure out the right words for this; her mouth opens and closes twice before she gives up and just comes out with it:]

...is anybody else slightly concerned about the fact that some of the local bakeries've started selling cookies in the shapes of these thi--?

[And the Network is suddenly treated to a GIANT UPSIDE-DOWN TRIBBLE FACE taking up the entire camera. Because it wanted to say hello, of course.]

[Zatanna can barely get out the shriek of surprise in the background before her unexpected visitor suddenly tumbles downward, taking the feed with it. The screen goes dark, leaving one last audio cry before it cuts out completely:]

Get back here, you cheap horror film knockoff!

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Yeah?

[Tim starts moving toward the kitchen. Pasta, they can handle. Pasta is easy.]

That sounds like it would definitely be worth a try.

Carbs. Awesome. My favorite food group.

[Bart follows to the kitchen and starts rummaging around.]

Why is New York Italian so important? I mean, if we're talking about authenticity, shouldn't it be Italian Italian that we're aiming for? And then why not just Italian?

Because shut up. And pass me a wooden spoon.

[Don't ask so many question, Bart. Just go with it.]

['Because shut up.' There is no way Tim can keep from laughing at that, and he doesn't even try. He just offers her the requested spoon, trying to compose himself again.]

[Bart is seized with the mental image of dropping the pot he is holding over Tim's head, grabbing the spoon and banging on the pot. But he dismisses it easily as overkill and smiles. It just feels good to hear Tim let loose and laugh, instead of quietly smirking. He'll take it at his own expense.]

Fine. I'll shut up. But I know that you know that I know I'm right.

[She accepts the spoon from Tim with a grateful smile and more than a little amusement at his reaction to her latest response to Bart's Bart-ness.]

You think you're right.

There's not much point in arguing with him. [Tim's amusement is still in his voice.] He can probably outlast you.

[Bart snickers at this, because it's such a blatant lie. There are things that he cares so strongly about that he will go toe-to-toe with anyone forever if he has to, but New York Italian vs. Italian Italian isn't on the list or anywhere remotely near the list. He knows that he'll lose interest. But not quite yet.]

I know I'm right. Why do you think I'm the one who always picks up the takeout? When we order Mexican food, it's not from Chipotle, and the fried chicken isn't from KFC. If I'm grabbing Italian, New York is just the pit stop before crossing the Atlantic.

[Tim was right, of course, because she's already moved on from the subject. To much more important matters.]

Hey, Tim, where do you keep the big pots?

[Bart shakes the pot that he's been holding for the past two minutes at her.]

It's like I'm not even here, and I'm supposed to think there's nothing going on here?!

[She spares just enough of a glance at the pot in his hand to prove that, yes, she did remember he was still in the room.]

I mean the big pots.

I've seen how Wally eats. No way that's going to be big enough if Tim and I expect to have any.

[Tim snickers and goes to find a bigger pot.]

I might be able to find something. I think I keep the cafeteria-size pots in the back.

This is like a six quart pot! I do not eat that much. Not really. OK. I can finish a whole pound of pasta and not blink. But I'm good with this being a snack.

[Waiting...waiting...]

[There it is.]

Thanks, Tim. [And then, back to Bart.] Fine. We can use that one for the sauce, since it means so much to you, and Tim's for the pasta. Go put it on the stove.

[Tim straightens and outs his pot on the stove, giving Zatanna a little--only slightly mocking--salute.]

Yes, ma'am.

[Bart puts the smaller pot on the stove with a satisfying little thunk.]

For the record, I was gonna make sure you two got your share before I took mine. I'm not a complete jerk.

[Tim's compliance pleased her. Bart's smirk? A little less so.]

I never said you were a complete jerk.

Though Robin might, since you seem pretty determined to talk Tim into trying to steal me away from him. Isn't there some sort of bro code between Robins and Speedsters to prevent that sort of thing?

[Tim grins a little.]

Well, to be fair, Bart's not his speedster.

[Though he's thrown by the odd phrasing, it's not enough to shut him up.]

What do you mean his speedster? Are the two of you holed up in the Cave calling dibs on everyone? Cause if there's a Speedster/Robin brocode, OK, yeah. For the purposes of that, your speedster. But. If we're talking about which Robin met which speedster first and who had the chance to call shotgun rights, then the first Robin gets the full set. Though he wasn't Robin anymore. I wonder if it still counts.

[Good luck following that.]

[She didn't need luck. She need a translator.]

I have no idea what you just said, but I'm going to assume it had very little to do with what I just said.

[Tim grins at Bart.]

Well, I was generally thinking bro-code. We don't actually sit around calling dibs. Though if we did, I'd totally call you, because No-Longer-Robin would probably waste his first call on No-Longer-Kid-Flash.

And no, Zatanna, it didn't really have much to do with what you said.

[He picks up the large pot from the stove again and goes to fill it with water.]

It had something to do with what you were saying. If a conversation is baseball, I'm out in right field. Except when I'm allowed to actually play, I'm the pitcher. But that's getting sidetracked again.

Look. The point is - there is NO amount of encouraging I can do here - I am so sorry, Rob, pleasedon'tprankmeinmysleepI'mjust beinghonest - that is going to put Tim ahead here. The first Robin grew up and dated Starfire, OK? Dude's a legend.

That's what I figured.

[An eyebrow rose slightly. She knew she and Robin were different people in the alternate world--that she was actually an entire generation older than him--but it was still weird to hear about other girlfriends. Mostly because she didn't even recognize the name, despite Bart's apparent insistance that this was a big deal.]

I have no idea who Starfire is, but I'd love to meet her sometime.

We could compare notes.

[Sometimes it really is hard to keep up with all of the directions Bart's mind can race in at once. Though thankfully--after the baseball tangent--this was relatively easy to follow.]

I'm not arguing. [Starfire is--well. Starfire. But come on--Zatanna is pretty amazing, too. Uh. When she's older, anyway.]

You two would probably get along pretty well. And Robin would--and should--be terrified.

[Bart is standing stock still with an expression the equivalent of the sound of a needle getting ripped off of a record.]

Girls really do that? Compare notes? Shoot. He really should be terrified.

✦ 008 ✦ [VIDEO]

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