Video;

[manofiron]

[ The video begins with a dark-haired man centered in the middle of the frame. He’s got dark eyes, a precisely cut goatee, and hair that’s a little too styled to be naturally that neat. There isn’t a lot to see beyond his chin, he’s sitting too close to the camera, but what can be seen looks vaguely like a shirt of shiny red metal.

His brow knits almost immediately after the feed starts recording, his expression edging toward disbelief as his lips twist into a mild frown. ]

Look. I get it. In a time of crisis, rationing’s necessary to keep resources moving in the right direction. Perfectly understandable. You guys needed to save your turtle. What responsible citizen wouldn’t do their part for that noble cause?

[ There’s a slight hint f sarcasm creeping into his voice, as though he’s heard the whole turtle spiel already and not only hasn’t been impressed, but also doesn’t really buy it either. Not even after having spent half a day scouring the network for information about what’s really going on here before making this video. ]

But really? Twenty bucks?

[ The low, indistinct murmur of another voice can be heard, though what it’s saying and who it belongs to is anyone’s guess. Whatever it says, it’s enough to make the man roll his eyes. ]

Juulan. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The point — [ Whether he’s talking to the camera or the unidentified voice is unclear. ] — is that it isn’t enough for a day, let alone the entire bogus adventure.

[ It isn’t so much the way he looks at the camera – his eyes have never left it – but the change of his tone, less querulous and more curious, that indicates that he’s talking to whoever’s on the other end of the console. ]

So really. Turtle propaganda aside. What’s a guy gotta do to get some decent money around here? Sell his organs? Hit the street corners? Scrub barnacles off the bottom of the turtle? What?

Comments

[manofiron]

Probably. I don't see why not. Do you?

[ He's Tony Stark. He can do anything. And he's going to keep telling himself that so he doesn't have to consider the possibility that he can't. ]

[urbanmagic]

I don't think an ice pick works much if the barnacle is as big as you-- and there's the matter of breathing underwater while following a moving turtle. Of course, I'm not an expert of underwater cleaning jobs, so there might be a local solution to that.

[manofiron]

I'm not really a normal guy. I mean, if I was, sure. It'd be a problem. But I'm not. Breathing underwater, giant barnacles? I got that covered.

[urbanmagic]

What, do you secretly have gills and super strength and failed to inform me? Because that would be pretty cool if you did.

[manofiron]

Do I have physically have these things? No. Can I simulate them well enough to take advantage of their benefits? Yes.

[urbanmagic]

So you're going to build them? Is that it?

Well, it's a plan, but how exactly would you start? Call me curious, I've never seen one of these in the making.

[manofiron]

Already did.

[ Getting up, he steps back from the console so that she can see the Iron Man suit that he's currently wearing. And just for kicks, so she can see the whole thing, he puts the helmet on. ]

Looks a little flashy, I know, but it gets the job done.

[urbanmagic]

Ooh, manly armor. [Well, that solves that problem.]

... You know, it'll be a real shame if you're going to end up using an armor like that just to scrub off giant barnacles. Unless they're actually flesh-eating or something.

[manofiron]

Call me crazy, but I'd rather use it for barnacle removal than say, I don't know, defending the turtle against a sea monster attack. I mean, I could do that. It's got offensive capabilities. But less people get hurt with barnacles. Unless they're flesh-eating.

[urbanmagic]

Yeah, but it looks more like it'll be better for defense. Then again, it's probably better that way. Last time we got attacked, it was really weird.

[manofiron]

What happened the last time you were attacked?

[urbanmagic]

People got possessed by body-jumping shadows and started attacking others. They were only stoppable by electricity, or shocking them out of there.

[manofiron]

Where did they come from? Are there still any around?

[urbanmagic]

Space, and as far as I know, there aren't any left. At least, no one's shown signs of being possessed anymore.

[manofiron]

I'm starting to think the old sci-fi shows about exploring the universe and meeting new and interesting races lied. Seems like everything up there just wants to kill us.

[urbanmagic]

Not true! I mean, probably about 90% do, but there are a bunch of nice guys out there not trying to a.) Take over the world or b.) Kill us. You don't get a lot of alien encounters, do you?

[manofiron]

Nope. Just two so far. That we know about.

[urbanmagic]

[Huh.] So were they a or b or a nasty combination?

[manofiron]

Nasty combination. We go all out where I'm from.

[urbanmagic]

So is that where the suit comes in? See bad alien, power up good guy and shoo them away with the power of good will and canon blasters?

[manofiron]

Suit came in before the aliens. It's a thing. Like a hobby. Keeps the terrestrial crazies to a minimum.

[urbanmagic]

Doesn't the suit get heavy? Rusty? Suddenly shut down and make it hard for you to move an inch?

[manofiron]

Uh, no. That would be a bad design. Why would I make a bad design?

[urbanmagic]

Just checking. Hey, this techno stuff goes over my head a lot, it's why I let others do it before I accidentally cause something to go boom.

[manofiron]

Depending on the tech, sometimes it'll blow up in their faces too.