tushanshu | Video;

[ The video begins with a dark-haired man centered in the middle of the frame. He’s got dark eyes, a precisely cut goatee, and hair that’s a little too styled to be naturally that neat. There isn’t a lot to see beyond his chin, he’s sitting too close to the camera, but what can be seen looks vaguely like a shirt of shiny red metal.

His brow knits almost immediately after the feed starts recording, his expression edging toward disbelief as his lips twist into a mild frown. ]

Look. I get it. In a time of crisis, rationing’s necessary to keep resources moving in the right direction. Perfectly understandable. You guys needed to save your turtle. What responsible citizen wouldn’t do their part for that noble cause?

[ There’s a slight hint f sarcasm creeping into his voice, as though he’s heard the whole turtle spiel already and not only hasn’t been impressed, but also doesn’t really buy it either. Not even after having spent half a day scouring the network for information about what’s really going on here before making this video. ]

But really? Twenty bucks?

[ The low, indistinct murmur of another voice can be heard, though what it’s saying and who it belongs to is anyone’s guess. Whatever it says, it’s enough to make the man roll his eyes. ]

Juulan. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The point — [ Whether he’s talking to the camera or the unidentified voice is unclear. ] — is that it isn’t enough for a day, let alone the entire bogus adventure.

[ It isn’t so much the way he looks at the camera – his eyes have never left it – but the change of his tone, less querulous and more curious, that indicates that he’s talking to whoever’s on the other end of the console. ]

So really. Turtle propaganda aside. What’s a guy gotta do to get some decent money around here? Sell his organs? Hit the street corners? Scrub barnacles off the bottom of the turtle? What?

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Family affair, huh? That probably makes it... Well, easier and harder.

[ He's just guessing there, his experience with family so minor that it might as well be non-existent. In theory, it sounds like it would be a benefit, working with someone one knows one can trust. In practice, family's usually a lot more fucked up than TV would have people believe. ]

The one I know, the Avengers, it's kind of a crap shoot. I mean, we did all right. Saved the day. But it's—It took a long time.

This whole alternate reality thing, does that happen a lot here? Is it always like, "hey guy I talked to yesterday who isn't really the guy I know?" Or do we eventually meet people from our world and our time?

[He doesn't know Pietro of course, but Wanda can't help but feel the slightest twinge of irritation at his use of the phrase "Family affair" if only for the fact that she's heard it used before in another context entirely. Knowing he isn't implying what others have in the past makes it easier to simply let it go, of course.

She focuses on the rest of what he says instead.]

More or less, I'm afraid. There are some worlds more represented by those present than others, though with the shifts in timelines or points from which everyone is taken, it's more likely you'll find yourself from a unique time and place than the same as someone else.

[She pauses briefly.]

As a version of you has already been here before, I imagine that complicates matters even more for you.

[ He's getting that sense of localized uniqueness already. Unique to his dimension and time. Not so unique to existence at large. It's a large pill to swallow and he doesn't enjoy it much. ]

Everything's always complicated for me. I think it's my real middle name. The Edward's just a cover for Complicated.

[ But since she's addressed the elephant in the room... ]

I saw him. On the network. It's a little weird seeing someone who looks so much like me, but the possibilities are endless, right? All the other iterations of Tony Stark can't have tentacles and blue skin and antlers, can they?

[ Really, he hopes that none of them do. That would be disturbing. But the point, however exaggerated, stands. That other Tony Stark isn't him, and the sooner everyone accepts that, the easier it will be for all of them. ]

[It's too good of an opening for Wanda to pass up, sorry Tony. Well. Sorry Tony that she's talking to, Tony who is also in Keeliai who might hear this and get confused or concerned, and sure, sorry Tony from her world whose reputation he cannot be present to defend.]

Well no, not blue skin or antlers...or tentacles. Not really, but...well. The Tony Stark of my world does have a vestigial tail.

[How she says that with an entirely straight face, she doesn't know. Further more she speaks slowly, quietly as if she is trying to break this news gently.]

It's actually prehensile so he's built it an armored covering for his suit so that he can make use of it when we are in battle.

Vestigial tail. Like a capuchin monkey?

[ The look he gives her borders on disbelief and a kind of resigned disgust that says that try though he might, he really can't be that surprised. The stupid shit always happens to him.

Rolling his eyes, he shakes his head and sighs. It could be worse. It could totally be worse. He's just going to keep telling himself that. ]

Guess it could be worse. He could be a mandrill.

[She really is trying hard not to laugh. The longer she can get him to believe this, the funnier it might be. Hey, maybe the Tony from her world could show up and someone could ask to see his tail...

But the mention of mandrills makes her choke on a laugh. She coughs to cover it.]

Yes, that would be rather unsettling, considering all things. If only for the contrast to how I'm used to seeing him, of course.

[Leaning back in her seat, she attempts a smile, one entirely free of mischief.]

I expect it's safe to say you have no such unexpected oddities?

You see his tail a lot? That a thing? He washes your swizard, he shows you a little tail?

[ If Tony had shame, he would be ashamed of himself right now. Luckily for him, he doesn't. ]

Sorry to say — [ For her sake if she's into tails, not for Tony's. ] — I'm tail free. You can check to make sure though, if you want.

[Flirting is one thing, but insinuating somewhat crudely about her relationship with the other Tony is another entirely. Not resisting the urge to roll her eyes, even though her half-smile remains, Wanda shakes her head.]

There is no tail showing or swizard washing between us, thank you.

[What has she gotten herself into?]

And I think for now I'll take your word for it you're tail free. After all, we've only just met.

Sure thing.

[ He shrugs easily, not perturbed. What happens between the man she knows and herself isn't really something he's all that interested in. ]

No offense. Just making conversation.

Mhmm.

[With a quirk of a smile still on her lips, she leans in again, resting a her chin on her hand, elbow on the console ledge itself.]

I don't mean to imply we can't get to know each other more, of course.

I'm never going to say no to getting to know a beautiful woman.

[ And he doesn't just mean that in the sexual sense. ]

Glad to hear it. I imagine you're getting up to speed with a great many people right now, however, so perhaps I ought to leave you to that and we can meet in person at a later time or date?

[Because he's Tony Stark, and Wanda knows that there was another one here before. He's bound to be mobbed right now by people glad to see him, trying to figure out what he knows, if he knows them, and so forth.]

Can't say I'd mind running into you again.

[ He nods, flashing a smile. ]

It's a date. I'm going to hold you to it.

[Flashing a smile back as well, she nods.]

By all means. Until then, Tony.

[She disconnects.]

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