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[kelpful]

[Contary to his usual public presence on the network, Percy is look drained and tired, like he hasn't been sleeping well. He only adds to this impression with the way he drags a hand down his face before clearing his throat and speaking. Those who have seen him post before might recognise that he's in his suite in the Water Sector rather than the one he shares with Annabeth.]

Uh. Hi guys, long time no post, and all. I was just wondering if - has anyone seen Hazel Levesque, or Nico di Angelo? [A brief pause] Or Luke Castellan, I guess. I'm pretty sure they're gone, but - I thought I'd check.

[A sigh] It would be a lot easier if we knew for sure what happened to people when they disappeared, you know?

[encrypted 100% to castmates]
Hey. Can you guys all check in? I just want to make sure that everyone I think is still around is...actually still around, and okay. And if you need help with anything for whatever reason, just let the group know. We should - we need to stick together.

Thanks.

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[truesight]

[ there are about ninty-nine thousand, seven-hundred and twenty three things Rachel could say about all of that. different reactions, different choice curse words, different expressions. but the only thing she can focus on is- ]

But it has to be seven. [ those be the Oracle gears turning ] It can't- [ yeah she's not about to say 'the Prophecy can't be completed without seven because it sounds too much like you failed, or worse it's your fault, so instead she pulls it all back, tries to think more critically, logically ] Maybe you had to. [ FALL INTO THE PITS OF TARTARUS? yes that's a good angle too well done, Dare. she has to squeeze her eyes shut for a second ] Maybe it was fate.

[kelpful]

[It has to be seven.

And the thing is, it would have been seven if he'd let her go. They had Nico, after all. Annabeth had done her part with the stature of Athena. But Percy can't even think beyond that point in the 'what if' scenario, because there's still no way he could have let her go on her own] I know. I know, okay?

[And he can't keep the thread of anger out of his voice as much as he tries. It's not directed her, not really, and it fades as his voice cracks on the next few words] It wasn't. I was supposed to make the other choice. [There's something in the way he says it that makes it sound more than just guilt talking. Like he's actually talking about something he factually knows here. That he made the wrong choice for the fate of the world. Other than Annabeth, Rachel is the first one he's brought this up to]

[truesight]

Who told you that?

[ he can't know that how could he know that? so she had to ask ]

[kelpful]

Who else? [The gods. And he's just staring down at his hands right now, shoulders slumped.]

[truesight]

[ just a short pause ]

They only would have told you that to make you feel guilty. I mean, they know who you are, they know that was the decision you would have made. It might've been wrong for the quest, but it wasn't wrong for you. Despite the way they act, all-knowing and powerful, they do know that you're acting on your own free will, so in the end any warning from them wouldn't mean a thing. And you have always been the one to throw it all down to help a friend- [ not helping anyone feel better with that one, Oracle ] -so why-

[ she pauses, like she only just realized she's thinking put loud ]

They knew you would have gone after her.

[kelpful]

Everyone knows that! It's like I've got it painted on my forehead or something, 'Percy Jackson's fatal flaw is loyalty', except for some reason my fatal flaw isn't about my downfall, it's about everyone else's! And none of them think to stop and freaking explain things, or lend a hand, or not be giant babies too scared of Zeus to do anything useful. They just--

[Percy cuts himself off, shaking his head. He's pretty sure if he gave a speech like that at home, he'd be a pile of ash right now.]

[sophos]

[Annabeth had heard some of it, and she knew Rachel knew, but it's only when she hears how emotional Percy's getting that she can't keep hiding away from it herself anymore. She slips into view, but she doesn't really speak up or say anything to either of them. Instead she just presses her forehead to the back of his head, arms sliding around his shoulders.]

[She's not really used to dealing with this with people who aren't Percy, and they'd both sort of unconsciously avoided telling Rachel for reasons he already explained. But some of her own guilt is creeping back in, too, with both Tartarus itself and keeping it from Rachel.]

[She should probably apologize, but she can't bring herself to do that at the moment either. So she just kind of keeps holding Percy for now, for her sake and his, unable to look up at Rachel just yet.]

[truesight]

[ it's illogical and rude but Rachel's huff of frustration is barely masked once he cuts off and there's Annabeth, and okay, she knew she was likely there listening but she's in a stupid mood and it's making her feel stupidly frustrated with the both of them. so she huffs, like an annoyed third grader, chewing into her cheek as she looks down at her lap. there are a few more Stupid Things she can feel bubbling to the surface, things she shouldn't say but there they are, and somehow one of those things manages to slip through ]

Is that what you think of me when I can't explain my prophecies? [ selfish thing to focus on, yeah. but it's not her point, not where she wants to end up in the conversation- ] What's the alternative? They make your decisions for you? Tell you how to succeed in your quests no matter the cost? Don't blame them for the consequences of your choices, hero.

[kelpful]

[There's a second where Percy just totally (and obviously) tunes out of the rest of the world (that includes Rachel). His hands comes up to cover Annabeth's, and it's possible to see that one of them is still scratched and bruised from his time in Dreaming. He turns his head in towards her for just a moment, so her forehead is pressed against his temple.

And then Rachel speaks again, and it's almost possible to tell when the words really hit him by the way his whole body goes stiff. He jerks back to look at her, except it's more of a glare than anything else. He has to let go of Annabeth's hands, because they're in danger of being crushed by the way his fingers curl into fists]

What the hell, Rachel? When did I - I never said anything like that! For a start, in case you hadn't noticed? We're seventeen. Who asks a group of freaking kids to run off and save the world? You remember when we met? I was fourteen, guess what I was doing. You know when I started? When I was twelve. I'm tired of being the hero! I'm tired of being the guy who has to hold the world together and make sure it stays that way because the gods have their heads too far up their asses to even admit that there's a problem. And I'm really, really tired of having everything taken away from me because it's more important to them to feed their stupid pride, and their stupid egos than it is for them to take some responsibilities.

The alternative isn't for them to make decisions for me, the alternative is for them to stop.. And you - you're supposed to be my friend. You're supposed to be on my side.

[He shakes his head again, wordlessly, tugging away from Annabeth's hold. He'll come back later, but right now he really just needs to walk away from the situation before he says something he'll regret even more]

[sophos]

[Annabeth reaches to tug at Percy when he walks away, her fingers brushing against his arm before she lets him go, her hands falling back down into her lap. She can easily recognize his need to step back.]

[Her gaze turns back to Rachel, and she's quiet for a moment. There's guilt in her face (her own) and anger (from what just happened).]

You know that's not what we think of you. [She tries to keep her voice even, steady, but it cracks anyway. It's the only thing she can address right now, in the wake of everything else. Rachel has every right to be angry with them, but - but it's how they dealt with it. How they keep dealing with it. And it needed to take that priority at the moment, because they're already being buried by the weight of Tartarus and they haven't even been there yet. All they know how to do is handle it alone together, and they're not even sure about that.]

[truesight]

[ she's kind of fine with being ranted at, at first. she's heard a lot of ..not-very-nice things from different campers, since she became the Oracle. when you say things people don't want to hear, it gets some backlash. but this is different, of course, because it's Percy, and her cheeks burn dark with you're supposed to be my friend, eyes blinking away from the screen again because of course it stung, how could that not sting? and then he just leaves and she can't think of anything to say fast enough to get his attention again, fight back, because she's not used to just cutting things off in the middle of a discussion. it makes her feel all the more flustered. ]

But I can't always be on your side. [ it's not really meant for Percy directly, or Annabeth now that he's left her there in front of the camera, but it's just something that's always on her mind. or at least, it was, when she was back at camp. her job doesn't work that way, even if she wants it to. so she's left making people mad or scared or upset and she can't really.. fix it. ] I just want to make sense of the future, that's it. And the fact that you and Percy are down there, without the rest of them.. it changes everything. Only I can't see it and it sucks, I can't do anything about it here.

[kelpful]

[His fingers briefly catch Annabeth's, only for the barest second as he walks. He heads for the bathroom, tugs some water out of the tap and splashes it on his face. He avoids the mirror.

Already he's regretting going off at Rachel like that. Which is something that seems to be happening more and more often, and he doesn't know what to do about it. Doesn't know how to deal with the anger that's living inside of him.

Even with that regret, though, it's not a need to apologise to Rachel that sends him out again. It's the fact that he left Annabeth there to deal with his mess alone. He walks back out slowly, absently shoving a wet hand back through his hair and messing it up worse than usual. He reaches for her girlfriend, clutching her hand]

You know me. [His voice is hoarse, a little strained] I don't understand why you'd say that. ['That' being the comment about him wanting people to make his decisions for him] You don't think that after living for seven months knowing that we're going to - knowing what happens, you don't think that maybe I'm entitled to be angry about the situation?

[sophos]

[Her eyes flicker towards Rachel's now and then, but they can't stay there, glancing off to the side or at her hands. She just - she doesn't know how to react as well as she'd like to. How to deal with what Tartarus is doing right now between the three of them. The words filter out before she really considers them, her tone edging on her own irritation.] It's not like we can do anything about it either, you know.

[And isn't that what won't leave them alone? Knowing what awaits them at home, knowing they can't change it? But at the same time, not knowing, because there's only one other demigod alive who knows what Tartarus is like, and he's not here any more. It's the stuff of nightmares, and even just the possibilities and potentials are in their nightmares already.]

[When Percy comes back, Annabeth takes his hand instantly, not even thinking about it. Yes. They're allowed to be angry. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it or them. Rachel's allowed to be angry with them, too, but sometimes she needs to let whatever she and Percy need take priority. It's not like they seem to be getting that opportunity at all lately.] The future is Tartarus. We can't make sense of it, because we don't know.

[truesight]

You're entitled to feel however you want to feel, that wasn't- I didn't mean to say that. [ she ends up looking at Annabeth more than Percy, and it's probably because she's pretty sure the only way to gauge whether or not she's saying the completely wrong thing, or the vaguely right thing, is to judge by her reaction. so when she's not looking off somewhere behind the computer monitor, she's watching Annabeth ]

I only meant that you shouldn't always blame the gods for how hard things are. Our choices are our own, the prophecies- they're a guide, a cheat-sheet. You say you want them to leave us alone, but- I mean, all I keep thinking about is how mad I was- how mad we all were when you went missing and the gods all just stopped talking to us. They wouldn't answer, I couldn't See you, there was nothing. They shut us out. They did stop, and it was horrible. [ but she's rambling, so she stops herself ] There is no easy way to live the lives that were chosen for us. For you. [ I'm just an Oracle, but that's another discussion for another day ] You can get mad, you can blame fate. But you can't- you shouldn't think like that about the gods. That you're just pawns in a chess match. It's not like that, even if it probably feels that way. [ That was Luke's mistake, wasn't it? but nope, nnnnot going there either. ]

But that's just how I see it, and I can't pick sides. I can't hate them, and maybe it's the whole pledge thing because the idea of trying to hate them makes me feel edgy and angry with myself, but, so, but I can't side with them completely either or I'd be the worst Oracle ever. [ worst friend ever ] And- And I should be able to make sense of it, it's my job. [ whinewhinewhienwheiwnewheiwnewhinewhine ]

[kelpful]

I don't always blame them. [The words are instant, bitten off sharply] I blame them when it's their fault. We're told we have to just accept that this is the way things are, that the gods do what they want and we have to deal with the consequences, but that shouldn't be how it is. Things being that way is how we ended up with Luke. [And Percy is well aware that it sounds like he's headed down that path, and if all he has to reassure her is his promise that he won't, that'll have to do. Percy know he'll never turn against his family like Luke did, but there's a vast, untravelled space between starting a war and doing nothing]

I'm not - I don't mean they should cut off all contact. That's part of the problem. Everything is done on their terms. They come to us when they need something, and they abandon us when they feel like it. [And she tries telling him that they aren't pawns, that he shouldn't think like that, and his anger boils over again] It is like that, Rachel! That's literally what happened. I spent six months unconscious and two with no idea who I was, being chased by the world's ugliest check out ladies because Zeus is a baby and Hera is using us all in her chess game against Gaea.

[Annabeth may not have any feeling left in her hand anymore, he's squeezing it so hard. Sea-green eyes bore into Rachel's, and it's highly likely she's never seen him this intense (or angry) about anything.] Giants can only be killed by gods and demigods working together. But Zeus has made it totally clear where he stands on that, and all of the others have fallen in line with that too. Even my dad. Demigods don't work with gods. We work for them. And if that's fate, then screw fate, too.

[And beneath the intensity, beneath the anger, there is a wealth of pain. There is the boy who grew up with a monster as protection against monsters, who's in love with a girl who had to run away when she was seven, who has seen too many friends die, and who wasn't expected to make it past sixteen himself. The gods have failed Percy Jackson, and it hurts]

[sophos]

[It does hurt. Percy's hand on hers, but the more he keeps talking, the more she squeezes it back. It's nothing she hasn't heard or assumed from him herself, but to hear it out loud and to someone else entirely is different. A kind of different she's not sure how to feel about yet.]

[While Percy wears his emotions on his sleeve, Annabeth's always been a little more closed off. She gets where Rachel is coming from, but she gets where Percy is coming from more, especially now. Especially when out of the two of them, she was always the more likely candidate to side with Luke. "Do you ever feel like, what if the world really is messed up? What if we could start over from scratch?" It's something she hasn't been able to ignore, not lately. Not when she's falling into literal hell, and though she'll never stop blaming herself, she blames the gods, too]

We're supposed to fight Gaea. Hera was the only one who thought of something that could even remotely work, and look what it's done to us so far anyway? [Took Percy and Jason away from their homes for months. Expected them to take care of Gaea without much help.]

[She starts on it before she can stop herself, even if her eyes look to the side.] My mother as good as disowned me, Rachel. After everything I've done already. Because they cut themselves off and left us confused and exacerbated the issues. She sent me on a quest and I did it despite all that anyway and now I'm in Tartarus because of it. [There's something simultaneously flat but emotional about her voice.]

I get that there's a bigger picture, you know? And I can understand their logic sometimes. I don't hate them either, but - [But we're just so tired. She's so exhausted and she doesn't have it in her right now to keep hiding it like usual. And maybe she's feeling a lot more bitter than she realized.] We make our own choices. Believe me, I know that. But sometimes there isn't a choice. Because they take that from us.