tushanshu | text // anonymous location

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text // anonymous location

[While he was only here for the tail end of Malicant's previous visit, he had heard enough from Javert in therapy that he knew who the mysterious message was from and felt some sense of joy (giddiness, perhaps, if Hannibal were ever willing to describe his own feelings with that word) that he may not be quite gone.]

Dearest Malicant -

Such a lovely voice you have; it was good to be able to hear it after all. I figured I had missed my chance. But, it was rather rude to grace us with your message and not give us a chance to reply. I of all people understand the need to remain elusive and there is certainly something to be said about fear of the unknown. And yet, if you are not careful it may start to look more like desperate avoidance.

I am aware that this message might never reach you, but if you should see it: consider this my personal invitation to come out and play, so that we might appreciate your art.

Sincerely,
A Fellow Enthusiast

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ there's really only one way he knows how to talk to crazies and evil people. ]

Dearest Secret Admirer,

Why thank you! You should hear me sing - I do a marvelous aria, I'm told. Please forgive my shortness on my previous little hello, my schedule has been tight. So many universes to destroy, badass turtles to poison, so little time, you know how it goes, don't you? Of course you do. So tell me! How many planets have you reduced to plasma dust? Want to compare souvenirs?

That invitation is so thoughtful of you. You have no idea how long it's been since I've been able to really show my art! You know, take it off the fridge and display it, though I'm afraid I'll need to pick up some more glitter glue before it's really up to snuff - some of the macaroni pieces have fallen off. That happens, after a few eons upon eons. They just don't make glitter glue like they used to.

Hugs & Kisses,
Mallipoo

Edited 2013-08-20 02:07 (UTC)

[And this is Dick's stress relief.]

My Magnificent Mallipie,

You've replied to me, and so soon! My heart is a-flutter. Every time you mentioned destruction and the horrific tragic death of a badass turtle, my heart beat a little faster. I'm sure you'd love to fix that for me, but not on the first date. ;)

Glitter glue? I've heard the blood of your enemies makes for great adhesive. I use it in all of my scrapbooks. I have a lot of good memories of senseless destruction and the deaths of innocents-- gotta preserve it somehow!

XOXOXO,
Your Secret Admirer

Edited 2013-08-20 04:44 (UTC)

[ ...bless you, anon turtlite, bless you ]

Gracious Secret Admirer,

Oh, Secret Admirer, I'm much more of a romantic than that! We'll have at least dinner and a movie, perhaps some candles and flower petals, before I take your heart. From your chest.

A great adhesive, yes, but not quiet flashy enough! I like to mix the two when I can. Though freeze dried organs can be made into lovely Christmas ornaments - I got the idea off Martha Stewart!

Pining For You,
Mallypally

Edited 2013-08-29 19:01 (UTC)

Darling Mallywally,

Oh my. I've tried that with others before, but it never ends well. Nobody really appreciates romantic comedy anymore! And I say good riddance, though my secret graveyard is getting to be rather full.

I've also found that the esophagus is an excellent alternative to a traditional tie on a present. It adds a little extra something. And I love my little touches.

Burning passionately,
Your crazed stalker.

I'm less of a secret admirer and more of an interested observer.

So instead of swooning when he starts massacring people, you'll be taking notes?

Edited 2013-08-29 19:18 (UTC)

Something like that.

Has he promised a massacre?

[Clearly Javert does not care about the intricacies of this (English) text message's contents. Though his English is tenuous, he can guess at what this mystery man is doing: goading the Devil with some choice words, of course. Typical of self-aggrandizing men and puffy-chested teenagers. The anonymous cry for Malicant is enough to incite Javert into forwarding a written (somewhat stilted and awkward, like any ESL individual) English response.]

To You, Who Is the Clever Idiot With the Big Ego,

What a mean fellow you are! Though I am sure calling His name will not bring Him any closer to your person. Not in the method that you are expecting from Him.

This might excite you. It will not excite you for long.

I warned you.

-J.

Edited 2013-08-20 04:24 (UTC)

You capitalize "His" and "Him" as if he were a deity.

I know well enough what excites me.

Thrill hunters do. That is the business you make for yourself.

[And if we're being completely honest, Javert is no stranger to thrill-seeking. But... not quite in this way. Not in a way where he would intentionally endanger others.]

He is no God. But Him and He is as much as a name as He will get from me.

Thrill or not, I am curious.

And I'm sure he is flattered.

It is better that you take your curiosity to a private place.

Let Him be flattered. I do not care.

please stop being so ~~fucking~~ stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.
please stop being so stupid.

xo Hayley

Do you think I have not thought this through?

I think your thought process was wrong.

What do I have to fear from him?

there are way worse fates than death and I'm pretty sure he's capable of all of them.

And I am afraid of none of them, assuming they consist of some mix of pain and psychological torture.

that's great for you. are you looking for applause?

because seriously? this whole dick measuring contest really isn't cool. even if you're not afraid of him, there are kids here and other people that can't handle that kind of thing. you're threatening a whole ~~fucking~~ city, not just yourself. are you really that egotistical?

If you consider that egotistical, I suppose the answer is yes.

I consider it simply indifferent to those factors.

if you're so indifferent to those factors, then why are you anonymous?

A good reputation has plenty of benefits.

so you're a dick and a coward? wow. so original.

Coward? No, but it would be inconvenient.

Bigger dick and still kind of a coward. Can you just not?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

text // anonymous location

text; super anon everything and unhackable; i'm sorry forever

text; anonymous; beep beep here comes the troll brigade

text; anonymous; gently sobs, also ffff sry late af ;;

text; anonymous; no worries!

text // anon

text // anon hurgh so sorry for the lateness ;;

text // anon

text; fuck you very much for your patient-doctor confidentiality

text, perma-anon

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text; wow this completely slipped through the cracks

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text; // perma-anon

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