[video]

[bacondivination]

[ Loki is leaning a bit too close to the terminal screen when he starts to record his little post. He seems a little too bright-eyed given the circumstances, and there’s an odd rapidity to his speech when he starts talking. ]

I have to admit, I am disappointed. [ He holds up a touchscreen phone so his audience can get a look at it. ] These Starkphones are simply not designed for the rigor of interdimensional travel, and the lack of service is a failure I cannot abide. How will I chronicle my doings without the aid of Instagram and Facebook? Nor can I go on to spread knowledge of this failing with a review!

At least the natives of this realm are accommodating, though I don’t think this makes for an adequate replacement of my phone.

[ He pauses only briefly before switching gears. ] Now, moving onto more important matters… I have a few questions about the quality of native cuisine and where the best breakfast can be found.

Comments

[manofiron]

Maybe it's a cheap knockoff. Stuff I make—Stuff any Stark makes is never made of fail.

[ And by any Stark, he means any Tony Stark. Don't get him started on his loser cousin. ]

[bacondivination]

It's authentic.

[ He shrugs. And maybe he can get this Stark to get it working so he can play the game with the outraged birds again. ]

Honestly, this is shame upon you and all your multiversal alternates.

[manofiron]

Excuse you. That is not shame on me. Call up the right interdimensional complaint department, but this isn't it.

[bacondivination]

Multiversal shame on you! If I could so much as get it to turn back on, even without service, I'd take that back.

[ He may have also dropped it at one point. This is obviously every Stark's fault everywhere. ]

[manofiron]

Do you want me to fix your crappy phone or do you want to keep shaming me?

[ He's a genius. He recognizes a hint when he hears one. ]

[bacondivination]

I'll take that first option. You are a credit to-- yourself, Stark.

[manofiron]

Figured you might.

Do you know where the Fire sector is?

[bacondivination]

I do. Where is it I should go?

There are many pigs dwelling within wooden fortresses that I need to catapult birds at.

[manofiron]

Three-A. That's me.

[ He pauses for just a second, trying to make sense of that last statement. ]

Angry Birds? You want to play Angry Birds?

[bacondivination]

It's very fun.

[ He might sound a little defensive.

It's going to be really hard for anyone to take him seriously as a potential threat after this, he's quite sure. ]

[manofiron]

I'm sure it is. You and like a billion other people are downloading it. More than that, since apparently it's a multiversal concept.

[ He shrugs. It's no skin off his back either way. ]

Just come over. I'll get your pig catapults up and ready to go in no time.

1/2

[bacondivination]

They are birds catapulted at their porcine foes.

[ Just, you know, to be precise. These things are important.

He seems to start to say something else, but cuts the message off. ]

2/2 [action]

[bacondivination]

[ Within seconds, there's a tiny Norse god knocking at Tony's door. His ability to call on his magical reserves still felt a little wobbly, which made him feel just the same in turn, but he was being theatrical. That was as good a reason as any. ]

[manofiron]

[ It's a little too quick for him to immediately assume it's the kid on the console, but Tony gets up to get the door anyway. People drop in on him occasionally these days. It could theoretically be anyone.

But when he opens the door it is the kid, which leads him to believe that his place is pretty close to his own. ]

That was quick. You must be jonesing to take out some pigs. Come on in.

[ Stepping back out of the way, Tony holds open the door. ]

[bacondivination]

You understand my needs well, Tony Stark.

[ He steps inside, looking around curiously before pulling out his well-loved phone. The way he holds it is like it is a precious object, but who could blame him? Hey, he was a teenager. ]

You prove yourself to be the superior variant already.

[manofiron]

Uh, yeah. Hello. Tony Stark. Obviously I'm superior.

[ Please. Like anyone could come close to his awesome magnificence.

All arrogance and eye-rolling aside, there's nothing demanding or impatient about the way he holds out a hand for the phone. His respect for technology is leaps and bounds greater than his respect for people. And he can see that the kid cares about his phone. ]

Here. Let me see it. You can hover and stare anxiously over my shoulder while I work on it if you want.

[bacondivination]

I'll get right to the anxious staring.

[ He says this with incredible dryness. Still, he's getting what he wants and he's happy enough to carefully hand it over.

For all that this one is actually more tolerable, possibly for a lack of obsessive (justified) suspicion, he's still annoying. ]

[manofiron]

[ Tony takes the phone carefully and heads toward his desk, waving the kid to follow him. ]

Come on. Have a seat. You want something to drink or eat or anything? There's pizza. Well, Turtleworld equivalent.

[ And then, something maybe he should have asked earlier crosses his mind. ]

What's your name anyway?

[bacondivination]

[ He could go for wine, maybe, but that was not the right impression to be making. He follows along and takes a seat.

Nonchalantly: ]

I am Loki of Asgard. Do you have chocolate milk?

[ Whoever said his heritage was of frost giants was nuts. He's just a total troll. ]

[manofiron]

[ Opening his mouth to make a comment about chocolate milk, Tony's brain catches up to his ears and he twists around to look at him so fast that it nearly makes his head spin. ]

Loki?

[ So not the same Loki he remembers. ]

Seriously? What the hell happened to you?

[ Maybe not the best way to talk to the guy who threw him out of a window, but really, Tony's never been keen on things like self-preservation or fear. ]

[bacondivination]

[ He brings his feet up, rather rudely putting his heels up on the edge of the chair as he peers up at Stark. He apparently has it in him to look indignant. ]

I was dragged through the interdimensional aether to a giant turtle and my phone is broken. That is what has happened to me.

[manofiron]

You're also pint-sized. And less of a dick.

[ And he drinks chocolate milk. Who knew? ]

But I do keep my promises, even across interdimensional lines, so one glass of Turtleworld chocolate milk coming right up.

[ Glancing at Loki - even he had a childhood, imagine that - one last time, Tony takes a detour to the kitchen, rummages around for about a minute finding a glass and the drink in question, and meanders back out again to hand it over. ]

How'd your phone break anyway?

[bacondivination]

[ Wow, rude. He is holding himself back here for the chocolatey milk and the inevitably fixed phone. ]

It was a casualty in my efforts to assess where my friends were.

[ Read: drew ancient runes using the touchscreen, failed at casting the spell, and dropped it when he almost fainted. There were witnesses and it was embarrassing. ]

It fell when my spell failed.

[manofiron]

Good to know. That means I can fix it. If it'd been damaged by magic...

[ He trails off with a shrug, giving Loki the milk before taking another side trip to his desk to grab some tools. Then it's back to where his guest is sitting so that he can sit down in a nearby chair, close enough for Loki to keep an eye on the phone. Again, as promised. ]

I saw it a few times. Your magic. Never did get an explanation for how it worked. Dropped phones, on the other hand, are easy to fix. You ever see the inside of one?

[bacondivination]

The urge to eviscerate my phone had never struck me before.

[ Though he is curious now as new things interest him. He takes a sip of his drink and leans over a little. His eyes are bright and quite sharp. Once, he had been less curious about mortals and their particular doings. That had been a distinct mistake that he was loath to repeat now. ]

What you mortals do with your technology fascinates me.