Tu Shanshu

[The image opens to a rare sight: Tony and Bruce, attempting at least for now to look professional in front of the camera. On Bruce, it just means that he looks slightly more serious than normal, still as unassuming and haggard as ever. On Tony, it means that he looks a little too perfectly put together, like a team of stylists and PR personnel came through and worked him over before letting him out in public. Visually they look like opposing bookends, especially with the varying heights.

Bruce clears his throat. Public speaking is not his strong suit, and he's a bit grim from the Archive's disappearance, which he'd noticed very quickly. It makes it hard for him to talk business, with the idea of anyone replacing her patently impossible, but Bruce never lets sentiment get in his way.] Hi. Uh… You might know us already, but there's been a lot of-- appearances and disappearances lately, so maybe not.

[ Tony chimes in then, with a brief half-smile toward the camera that’s recording them. ]

And if you don’t know us, I’m Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries. [ He nods toward Bruce. ] And this is Bruce Banner, Chief—Well, basically he’s my second-in-command. Officially, he’s—What did you put on the brochure, JARVIS? Head of Whatever? [ JARVIS did not, in fact, put anything on the brochure. That was all Tony. And since there’s no one else in view, it might look like he’s talking to thin air, especially since he keeps talking without waiting for anyone to respond to the question. ] Yeah, that’s his title. Anyway, since there’s so much turnover in the city, we wanted to let those of you looking for employment know that we are hiring. If you’re a scientifically or technologically minded individual with experience in the field. We’re a company, not a daycare, so, you know, some experience is required.

Though age isn't a precluding factor, [Bruce adds.] If you're brilliant at fifteen… you're still brilliant. We try to work on things that are related to our-- stated purpose here, but while we're waiting for developments, we're available to be commissioned. I did the hydroponics greenhouse about eight months ago, for example. It's still functioning. [Mostly run by NPCs at this point, but there's no reason to shut it down.

It may be obvious that Tony hasn’t been paying much attention to what Bruce is saying as he blinks abruptly and says, apropos to nothing: ] And Head of Fun and Mischief. [ He winks conspiratorially at the screen, dropping his voice to a stage whisper that’s completely pointless, given that Bruce is sitting right there in earshot. ] I know he probably doesn’t look it, but Bruce is like the most fun guy I know. Which means he’s in charge of organizing the monthly office party. [ If Tony has any sympathy for dropping a ridiculous promotion on Bruce out of nowhere, he certainly doesn’t act like it. ]

--Wait, what? [Bruce was trying to get through all the things he wanted to say without fumbling too much, which is really all the goal he usually has when posting, and it takes him a second to realize that Tony isn't just going off on a brief tangent, he's going off the track entirely.] I decline the position, [he says dryly, the second he recovers.] Having it monthly is… way too many parties. I know you actually do work. A lot of it.

[ Conducting official business is as boring as sitting through a staff meeting and Tony’s used up his professional quota for the month. That decline gets an immediate shake of his head, as he looks over at Bruce and points a finger. ] Nope. No can do. You can’t decline the position and then try to manage the parties. You either have to take the position or you have to attend mandatory weekly parties. One or the other.

[There's a momentary pause as Bruce calculates that in his head.] So if I take it, I don't have to go? [He's skeptical. Tony seems bound and determined to get him out and socializing, and that seems like too obvious a loophole.]

If you take it, you can schedule the parties whenever you like. [ Which Tony knows means that the Stark Industries social calendar will get really empty really fast. But that’s the beauty of being the boss; he can call an emergency party whenever he feels like it. ]

Fine, [Bruce sighs, and decides that's entirely enough of that. An astute viewer might notice him rolling his eyes as he reaches out and switches off the feed.]