[video]

[bacondivination]

[ Loki is leaning a bit too close to the terminal screen when he starts to record his little post. He seems a little too bright-eyed given the circumstances, and there’s an odd rapidity to his speech when he starts talking. ]

I have to admit, I am disappointed. [ He holds up a touchscreen phone so his audience can get a look at it. ] These Starkphones are simply not designed for the rigor of interdimensional travel, and the lack of service is a failure I cannot abide. How will I chronicle my doings without the aid of Instagram and Facebook? Nor can I go on to spread knowledge of this failing with a review!

At least the natives of this realm are accommodating, though I don’t think this makes for an adequate replacement of my phone.

[ He pauses only briefly before switching gears. ] Now, moving onto more important matters… I have a few questions about the quality of native cuisine and where the best breakfast can be found.

Comments

[bacondivination]

Probably, but that's just dumb and irrelevant. I'm Asgardian. Loki, God of Mischief? You may have heard of me?

[wrathfulkhan]

Should I have?

I mean, I've read some Norse myths about Loki. But clearly that's not you.

[Prepare to be wrong again today, Gene.]

[bacondivination]

You must hail from a very backwards dimension.

[ He's kind of offended here. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

[Well excuse him, princess.]

Not so backwards we don't have Starkphones, at any rate.

[He's making a joke. He's making a joke. Or...trying to.]

[bacondivination]

[ Okay, that was kind of funny. ]

Well, it did at least one thing right.

[wrathfulkhan]

It happens on occasion.

So. You're Asgardian. What does that entail?

[bacondivination]

That I'm--as I said before--a god, and I speak in the oft derided dialect of my homeland. Mostly, though, it's the deity thing that seems important.

I'm just cooler than most other gods, you see.

[wrathfulkhan]

[Skeptically:] Uh-huh.

I've never met any other gods, so I'll have to take your word for that.

[bacondivination]

You should. I am very impressive, and I think that adds to my credibility.

[ He waves his hands as if to say he was done with the subject, apparently just being dramatic. ]

So what's with that snake on your shirt?

[ Because, what? Loki couldn't tell the difference between a Chinese style dragon and a snake?

No, it was probably because it was turning into a bright green snake and trying to wriggle right off the fabric, hissing and opening it's maw wide as it looked up at Gene. It had a very distinct weight as it pulled itself into three dimensionality, and it had to seem very real. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

[Hah, yeah, real impressi-

What the SHIT why is his shirt suddenly full of snake. Do not want. Gene lets out a cry of surprise and tries to grab at the snake.

He is not having a good day at all.]

[bacondivination]

[ It rears up as Gene grabs at it, hissing and snapping. This is not a snake that wants to be caught, that much is certain.

Loki's smile turns outright vicious for a moment there, but then he reels it back in. This was all in good fun and not actual cruelty. Quite seriously, he addresses the snake as he makes a gesture that isn't entirely visible onscreen: ]

Begone.

[ It vanishes in a puff of smoke when it tried to lunge at Gene's face, leaving the shirt undamaged. Loki doesn't like that little voice in the back of his head that tells him he's being awful and making enemies for no reason. It's amazing you're not more popular, you know. Nope, no time for that, so he laughs and says: ] Now that sure was a thing, wasn't it?

[wrathfulkhan]

[Loki? YOU ARE A DICK.

When the snake disappears - and a good thing it does when it does, because Gene had been trying to reach for the rings on the string tucked into his shirt, and he doesn't want to show his hand this early - he takes a second to breathe as his heart rate slows back down. When next he speaks, he sounds resentful and a little bit embarrassed.]

All right, I believe you.

[But know this, Asgardian. The Mandarin does not forget a slight.]

[bacondivination]

We're going to be good friends, you and I. I can feel it.

[ He has no idea what he's started, but he's very satisfied so far. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

Yeah. I hear it's not easy to be friends with me.

[Loki no you started something when you said the F word]

[bacondivination]

A challenge then. [ Loki has a certain talent for button pushing. He manages it even when it's not entirely intentional, like some sort of special bonus just for him. ]

We'll make it work, so don't worry your pretty head about it.

[ And he doesn't have an off switch, so he'll just keep digging deeper. ]

[wrathfulkhan]

[Gene smirks. Challenge it is then.]

Now "pretty" is not something I hear often.

[Good luck, Loki, the armor's back up.]

[bacondivination]

Such a shame.

[ His tone and expression become distinctly bland, and unoffensive. ] It's a good thing I'm here to soothe your shattered self-esteem.

[wrathfulkhan]

[Deadpan:] Where have you been all my life.

[bacondivination]

It's tragic I have been absent from it until now.

[ Oh, banter. Loki's secret weakness is definitely a chance for some banter. ]

I'll be sure not to neglect you.

[wrathfulkhan]

[You shall not want for a banter partner with Gene on the case, Loki. His sass is legendary. It is known.]

I'll try very hard to notice.

[DID YOU FORGET HE JUST TURNED YOUR SHIRT INTO A SNAKE.]