Loki of Asgard (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bacondivination) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-08-24 07:34 pm
bacondivination) wrote in tushanshu2013-08-24 07:34 pm
[video]
[ Loki is leaning a bit too close to the terminal screen when he starts to record his little post. He seems a little too bright-eyed given the circumstances, and there’s an odd rapidity to his speech when he starts talking. ]
I have to admit, I am disappointed. [ He holds up a touchscreen phone so his audience can get a look at it. ] These Starkphones are simply not designed for the rigor of interdimensional travel, and the lack of service is a failure I cannot abide. How will I chronicle my doings without the aid of Instagram and Facebook? Nor can I go on to spread knowledge of this failing with a review!
At least the natives of this realm are accommodating, though I don’t think this makes for an adequate replacement of my phone.
[ He pauses only briefly before switching gears. ] Now, moving onto more important matters… I have a few questions about the quality of native cuisine and where the best breakfast can be found.
I have to admit, I am disappointed. [ He holds up a touchscreen phone so his audience can get a look at it. ] These Starkphones are simply not designed for the rigor of interdimensional travel, and the lack of service is a failure I cannot abide. How will I chronicle my doings without the aid of Instagram and Facebook? Nor can I go on to spread knowledge of this failing with a review!
At least the natives of this realm are accommodating, though I don’t think this makes for an adequate replacement of my phone.
[ He pauses only briefly before switching gears. ] Now, moving onto more important matters… I have a few questions about the quality of native cuisine and where the best breakfast can be found.
no subject
It's a phone, Loki. Not world domination. Power's sketchy here and without upgrading the battery, it's just going to go dead in a few hours.
[ He shrugs then, because maybe that's not answer enough for the guy. ]
The Loki I knew was crazy, homicidal, and like practically everybody else in the world, he tried to kill me a few times. But he was interesting and he had a sense of humor. And if there's any truth to our stories about Asgard, maybe he had reason to be crazy and homicidal. You're not him. Maybe you're like him, maybe you're not. But you're here, same as me, and I think we're all gonna need a little help.
no subject
Still, he visibly relaxes and no longer eyes Tony like this is a trap. ]
That's... a terrible sense of self-preservation you have there. But, still, you'll be the first I tell if I do find a way to betray everyone around me and take over the world with my phone. Just a friendly heads up. You can come help with that, too, if you like.
no subject
Buy me a drink first and I might even lend a hand. First things first, though. You want to figure out how to handle the turtle problem before you make a bid for supreme ruler. Far as I know, this is the last one in the world. If it goes, I think we all go.
no subject
[ He's joking there. Maybe. It sounds like he's joking, but even he has a terribly hard time telling what thin line he's treading sometimes.
He laughs, tilting his head down in a way that doesn't entirely obscure his wolfish grin. Moments like this made it very hard to seem as young as he should. He toys with his phone as he carries on. ]
We'd have fun if it could be managed. Fine wines, our captors in chains, and maybe a small horde of fangirls grateful for our heroic exploits. And a turtle. I've never had a pet turtle.
All of that sounds quite nice, doesn't it?
no subject
[ He only has a dim idea of what these potential drop off points are. He knows that occasionally the turtle reaches land. What he doesn’t know is why no one ever leaves. Unless the kedan don’t allow them to. ]
I’m all for getting rid of them, though. What they’re doing to people here, it needs to stop. All of this? [ He waves a hand, the gesture meant to encompass the entire city. ] It’s not what it looks like. We’re effectively slaves for their army. They just put us up in nicer prisons than most.
no subject
[ "Murder them all for the indignity forced upon us" makes for a very tempting first thought as to what to do with their captors, but he doesn't share it. More than the fact that Stark was almost always one of the moral sorts, it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably.
He missed his taste for casual slaughter sometimes, and hated that part of him that jeered at him when he considered the methods of the good old days. ]
There is an infinite multiverse out there, you know. If someone had a mind to avenge this slight against us, well, you could tuck the kedan almost anywhere with sufficient preparation. It could be a perfectly humane option if you wanted it to be.
[ He swipes through his photos, settling on one of his little team out to eat. He angles the screen slightly, just contemplating the picture for the moment. If he had them, this would have gone very differently. Too bad he couldn't just order them up. ]
no subject
[ He says it with breezy nonchalance, like it's not something that he has issues with. Or nightmares about. Acknowledging it makes it real, though, and trivializing it takes some of the power away. At least in the light of day. ]
The trouble's finding another reality to shuffle them off to. A world full of dinosaurs or carnivorous marshmallows won't really fit the bill.
no subject
[ It's said as if he didn't expect that would be a restriction. It wasn't murder when they had a chance to make it, right? No, he was doing it wrong again, he supposed.
He swipes the picture he was looking at off screen and brings up Angry Birds. ]
I suppose you're right. Luckily, it's not hard to track one's way to any number of candidates that wouldn't put kedan on the menu. Power to get them there would be an issue, but that's just a matter of details after they're toppled.
no subject
[ Tony waits a beat for it to settle in, then smirks. ]
It's hardly humane to trick the poor things into eating our enemies for us.
[ And he's not a murderer. Not anymore. Perhaps never was, the whole cloning business taken into account. ]
Power's a problem, but a solvable one. Organizing a fallen regime, on the other hand... How many good organizers of potentially questionable morality do you know?
[ Because from the way everyone acts about the kedan, he can't imagine the people he's familiar with would be down with ousting the kedan from power. ]
no subject
[ It's said very dryly, but there's a smile on his lips. He likes this Tony Stark, though it's clear that there is something terribly fascinating about him. He almost wants to get to the bottom of it.
Or he's trying to get his 'evil' plan out of him. If that were the case, the joke was entirely on Stark. ]
You want someone good, or, at least, close enough so to pass scrutiny. Charismatic, and equally pragmatic. For Asgardia, it would involve someone that could wield a battle axe and take the heads of their enemies to present to their people. Among humans, compassionate natures might win the day.
It would require a little shopping. Many people from many worlds, and there has to be someone with potential to be queen among them.
no subject
Natasha Romanoff, maybe. Nick Fury. But one's not here and the other isn't someone that he's sure he can trust with something like this. Neither is Loki, in point of fact. But given the track record of the Loki he knows, he thinks he would probably enjoy overthrowing the world order. ]
Shame there's no Craigslist, Turtleworld edition. I'd say we put up an ad, but I don't think that's going to pan out.
no subject
[ That last sentence turned into something of a jumble, but he keeps on as a little red bird screams in defiance while flying across the screen. The comical crunch of wood and glass make him smile, and the pigs grunt their dismay as they're destroyed. Truly an epic battle. ]
Oh, three stars. [ He flips the phone around to show off his score. ] A proper omen if there ever was one, and a good note to end on.
no subject
Tell you what. Give me a couple weeks, the material here's pretty hard to come by, and I'll see if I can't come up with a more challenging form of that game for you.
[ In the moment, he means a competitive version of the game. In the end, it will likely involve much more than that. ]
no subject
[ He shimmers faintly green, and narrows his eyes as if in thought. The translation of the spoken word here makes the inherent meaning of his next softly spoken word completely clear: ]
Elsewhere.
[ And light suddenly collapses in on a center point as he vanishes entirely. ]