[001; video]

[earpiece]

[When the video feed clicks on, anyone paying attention will be treated to the image of a man who looks wildly uncomfortable. He's dressed in local clothes—his options were change into the garb generously offered or sit in the bloody, wet suit that just happened to be his favorite and is now instead draped across the back of his chair and probably ruined forever along with most of his other stuff—and is wearing an expression that's a curious mix of frustrated and tired and dazed. Like he knows what's going on, but can't quite believe it.

He rubs his face before speaking, shoulders rising and falling with an inaudible sigh. Without fully raising his gaze to meet the camera, he says:]

My name is Phil Coulson. I just—

[He hesitates, thinking. How is he supposed to approach this? "Hi, I just died, it's nice to meet you all here in this afterlife I wasn't expecting?" Bright blue eyes flicker toward the keyboard, then dart back up, this time focusing directly on the lens.]

I arrived here a little while ago.

[And there it is, the versatile, thin-lipped little smile that those who know him already know so well. This time, it's meant to convey something akin to appreciation toward those who helped him, but it looks a bit pained. He's not sure he can help that.

Because, you know, his back is killing him. Pun completely intended.]

Just thought I would say hello.

Comments

[earpiece]

So you're...

[He doesn't need to say it, does he?]

[hulk]

Well... [ Shrug because nope, neither of them do. ] Odds are.

You?

[earpiece]

99% probability.

[Phil tilts his head slightly, curious.]

How?

[hulk]

Loki got the portal opened over Stark Tower, and ended up bringing over an alien army. It was... It got pretty bad. The other guy, uh, after the whole... Helicarrier, he landed in Jersey, and then I met up with the others and. ...Well. I tried to help how I could against that, but.

[earpiece]

[As Phil listens, his expression shifts from tired and puzzled to mad. Loki. That little shit.]

But—?

But what? What's the last thing you remember?

[hulk]

Being in the backseat while the other guy did his thing against a, uh. A really giant alien ship monster - thing. Or things. Pretty sure there were a couple of things like that. Like I said, it was. It got pretty bad.

[earpiece]

[He doesn't know why he's getting mad at Banner, but he is.

He just wants more information. He wants to make sure the team did what they were supposed to. That he—and Bruce, maybe—didn't die for nothing.

Phil presses his lips together, silently counts to ten.]

I'm sorry, doctor.

[hulk]

[ Bruce can... Kind of sort of detect that anger. And shifts uncomfortably in his seat like a kid bringing home a C when he could have gotten an A. ]

No, that's. Please don't, I know this isn't-- I'm not the most reliable guy to go to for information on any of that, so. You'd probably be better off asking somebody else, s- Pretty sure everybody except, uh, Thor is in here. From the team, I mean.

[earpiece]

[NO GOLD STAR FOR YOU, SIR.

Phil holds up a hand. Like, Bruce. Chill.]

Where are you staying?

[hulk]

[ CUE SAD WALKING AWAY MUSIC. ]

Water sector? 1-B.

[earpiece]

Okay.

We should talk. Later.

[Bruce may not know Phil as well as the others, but there's no mistaking the look on his face: That was not really a suggestion.]

[hulk]

[ The look on Bruce's face is simultaneously stubborn and resigned - because he's remembering exactly why he doesn't much like military-esque people. Which S.H.I.E.L.D. totally counts as. ]

Uh huh. Yeah.