video;

[bacondivination]

Hello there, my dear fellow captives. I've missed you all so very much, and I'm sure the feeling has been quite mutual.

[ Loki sounds positively playful and is quite cheerfully smiling as he addresses whatever audience he might gather, though there's a contrasting uncharacteristicly careworn quality to his body language. ]

Blessed with good fortune is Loki, let me tell you. Though there was a little peril to my very soul for a few days, a clever rescue cleared that all right up. It put some things in perspective here, I think. Strange how it is I find myself with most everything I could possibly desire save that aforementioned threat of what I think may have been potentially erasure from reality.

By the by, my brother is here in duplicate-- handsome, muscular fellow, likes his hammer. You'll all get along well with Thor, everyone does. That goes especially for people that don't like me, few though you may be.

So how was your week? What did I miss? Was it terribly interesting?

Comments

video;

[unconchonable]

[And he has no idea that he's a chew toy.]

I'm a fuckin' troll. [Said in a tone like he's SO offended that Loki didn't know this already, despite there really being no way for him to know.]

The name's Eridan Ampora. You said your name was Loki?

[He sounds utterly disinterested.]

Re: video;

[bacondivination]

Indeed it is. Now, I'm dreadfully curious about you. I've heard of rock trolls, among others, but never fuck trolls.

video;

[unconchonable]

Fuck trolls? [He stops, giving Loki a bewildered look, obviously confused on where the hell--oh. Fuck him!]

No! I'm a sea troll you stupid ass! Not a fuck troll.

[He emphasizes the sea part by gesturing to his fins as they fan out a bit.]

And by rock trolls, are you meanin' land trolls? If so, you're the first human I'we met that knows a damn thing about trolls at all.

[Of course he's unaware of there being other types of trolls out there, but whatever.]

[bacondivination]

Oh, oh rude. I like humans and all, but I am most certainly not one. You shouldn't assume these things-- I'm of frost giant blood.

[unconchonable]

[Eridan squints at him, as if trying to find some lie in what he said... and then he opens his eyes normally, gesturing at the camera.]

You don't look wery giant... or frost-like for that matter.

[bacondivination]

Yes, yes. I'm the half giant, you're quite free to get that out of your system early on.

[unconchonable]

Well, that's half a you accounted for.

[bacondivination]

Well, I am a god. There's just no getting a full accounting of these things sometimes.

[unconchonable]

I'm callin' bullshit.

[He doesn't believe in all that godly bullshit beyond what he's seen in the game, so some human-looking annoyance claiming godhood isn't going to convince him in the slightest.]

You don't look like any god I'we seen. I mean, you got the ridiculous apparel down, sure, though it ain't no garish pajamas.

[bacondivination]

I daresay you know very few gods.

[unconchonable]

I'we seen godhood achiewed among my [friends?] prewious companions. Though I will admit I hawen't amassed a notable number a god-like acquaintances, but I ain't likely to beliewe any airsucker who claims to be some deity.

[bacondivination]

Achieved? You misunderstand the nature of it entirely, but I'll hardly hold it against you.

After all, you've the good judgement not to believe the god of lies.

[unconchonable]

Yeah, achiewed. [He says it so matter of fact, like there is no other possible way that one could be a god. Nope, he knows this shit. Better sit the fuck down, Loki.]

I understand the nature just fine, I coulda become one myself, but I ain't all about that poppycock. [Honestly he would just brag more if he did, so it's just better for the collective universes he didn't.]

God a lies? What a shitty thing to claim to be the deital force of.

[bacondivination]

Pfff, it's amazing. I have mischief going for me, too. You simply don't have an ounce of creativity if you think otherwise.

[unconchonable]

I got plenty a fuckin' creatiwity, I just don't need to showcase it with a bunch a stinkin' lies. Though, I guess mischief is a bit better.

[A pause.]

So... what? Do you just go around trollin' people? [People like Eridan.]

[bacondivination]

I do not troll. That's just racist.

[unconchonable]

[A flat stare.]

Do you ewen know what that means?

[bacondivination]

To act in the manner of trolls. I am of the frost giants as I totally just said moments ago.

[unconchonable]

I am well a-fuckin'-ware a what creature's brood you belong to, an' while trollin' does pertain to what we trolls do, it ain't a act that other species are incapable of. It's fuckin' rilin' people, pissin' 'em off, gettin' a rise outta them for nothin' other than your own enjoyment. Sounds pretty fuckin' mischief-y if you ask me.

If that ain't the case, then what sorta definition a mischief do you ewen go by?

[bacondivination]

I'll have you know that in my culture, we call that gianting

[unconchonable]

Whatewer, the meanin' is the fuckin' same either way you spew it.

[bacondivination]

Uh, 'whatewer' nothing. You need to take a more multiculturally sensitive approach to your time here in Turtleland.

[unconchonable]

[GLARING. Don't you mock his accent, you cur!]

I don't need to do anythin' other than what I bloody want.

[bacondivination]

Oh, there's no need to get windictive over me pointing out your shortcomings or anything. Werily, it's admirable to improve upon your more wulgar mannerisms and I am here to help. You'd not want to be treated as if you were no more than a wapid warmint.

[unconchonable]

Piss off you scumsuckin' piece a filth! [SNARLING.]

First of all, fuck you for your lousy mockery a my accent [speech impediment] and secondly, you ain't no moirail a mine, so you got no right to hawe any say ower what I do or how I conduct myself! I didn't ask for your so called 'help', and I newer fuckin' WILL ask for it. So shut your worthless trap!