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[ The vouchers on offer have been put to good use. Witness one Vulcan wrapped up in a couple of high-neck, long-sleeved sweaters where he sits in front of the screen. There's no way of regulating the temperature as accurately as he could on the Enterprise, so the curtains are also drawn to stave off the encroaching cold and, in the comfort of his own abode, he's donned a thick cardigan that looks like a customized blanket. ~~Winter, nngh.~~ So while Spock looks a lot fluffier, his tone is just as businesslike as usual. ]

Many of the foreign recipes I am familiar with have little bearing on the available ingredients in the market and as such may not be employed here. I would be grateful for suggestions on supplemental dishes and am willing to provide recompense for any assistance provided. On a different note, if there are any individuals with an inclination toward telepathy, I am curious as to whether any of them know where it would be most opportune to try and establish a meld with the turtle. That said, they would be welcome to participate in a psychic foray being made. I was told that this has never been attempted by a great number of minds and find the unexplored concept fascinating.

I am familiar with the weight of a great many consciousnesses and amenable to hosting temporary mental immersion with others.

[ In other words, Spock is happy to be the Red Ranger in a group setting where other minds might need to rely on him for direction or support. He goes on, lifting a hand-written stack of notes off his lap. ]

Ellie, I have compiled more information concerning space and attached a short questionnaire to serve as your homework. Please contact me at your earliest convenience to collect your personalized astronomy file.

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[Sometimes, Spock is the singularly most frustrating person (Vulcan, whatever) he's ever known. And he really wants to just-- Jim makes an aggressive little gesture with one hand as that train of thought truncates abruptly. He doesn't even have words! For how much he hopes the next chair Spock sit in breaks! Or something! That's equally lesson-teaching and harmless because he'd never actually wish harm on Spock (they've faced it together, too many times) but. It's the principle of the thing.]

And what if I can't, Spock? What if I can't get us home? I have been here almost seven. Months. Seven! That's only a few months shy of how long I've even been a captain! Just-- will you lay off? I knew what I was doing, and I know it was the best choice at the time.

[Okay, he's done yelling. For now. He exhales sharply, and pinches the bridge of his nose.]

McCoy was the only one here when I made the deal anyway, it's not like I could renege on it when it would have put everyone who showed up after in danger.

[And, irritably,]

Besides. People come back from the dead here.

I do not care whether people return from the dead, I would much rather the experience was not theirs to begin with. You will find a way to lead us home, Jim. I will assist in this, as will the rest of the crew.

[ He's not going to shout, isn't going to sharpen his tone or clip his words. By contrast, they gets quieter and far less confrontational. ]

You will not be here for the next seven months without satisfactory support.

[He sighs, and all the anger and fight goes out of him with it.]

I had support, Spock. It's not about support. I just hate being trapped.

[ Begs to differ but he doesn't do it out loud. There is no substitute for the crew, in his mind, much less that of the Enterprise. ]

You cannot go on hating or you will destroy your self-worth.

[Flatly,]

My self-worth is fine.

[He presses a tension point just beside his nose, against the bone of his eye socket.]

What am I like in your time, Spock?

You are not unlike yourself as I know you now, albeit more comfortable with your position in command.

[He snorts, shakes his head. After a moment, he forces himself to actually elaborate. This is Spock. Spock. Jim knows he can trust him, a million times over. What the hell could another perspective hurt?]

I'm at this weird point, I have no idea if Starfleet made me a captain because I deserved it, or because they wanted to hit a recruitment quota. Nothing creates buzz quite like the meteoric rise of charismatic 'from tragedy' story, you know? God, Spock-- I still can't get over Marcus. I believe in Starfleet. But I don't know if I can go back and trust the rest of the Admiralty, after that. I'm sick of being used.

You are the captain because you are a capable, intelligent individual with remarkable resourcefulness. You need not trust the admiralty entirely. I do not think it would be wise to, again. [ But. ] But you may trust your crew to know what they are doing when they put their faith in you, of that I am in no doubt.

No matter the state of Starfleet following the destruction caused by Nero and Khan, they do not promote the undeserving into power.

Except for Marcus. Commodore Daniels. Hell, I wouldn't even put Robert April in the captain's chair, Spock. The amount of people in power that I'd actually trust to have my back is getting less by the day.

[He sighs, rubs a hand over his browbone.]

You're right about me. I know you are, I've seen it.

[In the future, which Spock already knows.]

I think that's the problem. 'Seeing it'. I'd probably feel better if I'd-- you know, lived through it all. When you watch things happen the way the Emperor shows you, it's like it's all happening to someone else, there's this seriously screwed-up disconnect.

They began as good men, despite their endings. The only difference is that you will continue as one.

[ He shakes his head slightly, arching a brow and refusing to quite meet Jim's eyes. After talking with his Prime counterpart, seeing the pendant, there are some things Spock cannot allow himself to wonder about. ]

Jim, it is unwise to think on a future you have not lived, no matter what you may have been told.

Daniels being a good man - ever - I really doubt.

[The asshole threw one of his own people out of a shuttle so he could escape the Gorn. He could buy Marcus getting jaded to the point of thinking war was the only way. But cowardice doesn't just crop up out of nowhere. Jim shakes his head.]

Yeah, well. Tell that to the side of my brain that won't shut up about it.

No one is born evil.

[ That's the vaguest extent to which he'll be pushed to defend such men, dismissing the topic in tone if not word-by-word. ]

I believe I have already extended that invitation.

[ To quieten Jim's mind. ]

[There's a difference between being evil and not being good, but Jim's happy to let the topic drop. He doesn't really want to discuss morality with a Vulcan, although it's an interesting window into a side of the culture he'd never greatly considered before.]

I know. I'm still... thinking about it.

What are your misgivings?

[ Clearly things would be better worked out if all the factors were unveiled. ]

[He tips his head down, scratches the nail of his index finger through his eyebrow.]

There's some stuff I don't want you to see. It's not that I don't trust you, you know I do. But I like my privacy.

[In some ways, it's almost like running into the same wall Spock and Kyle did. Spock knows him better than Jim does in return, it's... weird, somehow. It feels like Jim's barely had any time at all to acquaint himself with the idea of being actually considered a friend. When he's from, he's still pretty convinced Spock didn't even know the meaning of the word.

Jim's always known they'd get there, there was too much in the Prime version's mind to do anything but. Some people, some-- souls, he guesses (although he has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the cheesy term) are just naturally drawn together, they share a mutual gravity.

But the evidence of Spock's affection is here, plain and bright, and Jim... doesn't know how to adjust to it. It's like being on an active offensive line that's been too long at war only to find the defense of the opposing side has decided to throw a tea party and invite you in. Where he used to have to apply pressure to elicit a response, the response is now given freely, with a depth of expression he's not even sure how to quantify.

It's exhilarating. It's terrifying. It feels like he's been given something precious, but it's too fine or delicate for his clumsy hands and all he can do is hold it and hope it doesn't break.

He licks his lips.]

Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.

[He's never stopped leaping. But he's started looking sometimes, now, and there's nothing wrong with that.]

[ Spock nods to the comment about respecting privacy. He understands that completely, especially as the idea of having someone in his head again — even less frequently than T'Pring — isn't something he wants to enter into lightly. The only reason he offered to entertain the connection in the first place was the sheer overload damaging Jim's mind. ]

I should explain it in greater detail. Would you like me to send you a written document to peruse at your leisure or tell you in person?

[ Just as Jim isn't sure how to approach their friendship, Spock is learning here to restrict his approach just enough that it doesn't make his captain uncomfortable. Jim's situation is unique, one that cannot be treated with anything but delicacy and forethought wherever necessary. Invading his brain definitely counts. ]

Naw, no point. I learn best by doing.

[Besides he's been along for the ride before, when they raided the Gorn Lieutenant's mind. He can figure it out.]

Jim, you would be party to my — thoughts. [ Emotions. ] I would need to teach you to hold your own mental wards in place, once we were connected. I can do much to help, but not all. You may want to finish any work beforehand as it could be days before you grow accustomed to sharing your mind.

[ If there's a warning out there left to give, he serves it up readily, not about to let Jim go into this completely blind. ]

May I remind you, I have never attempted this with a human before.

My wards are fine.

[It's an easy, confident assurance.]

I've been using the Dreaming for a couple months now, it requires a lot of mental discipline to keep your mind from bleeding over into whoever you're doing it with. I'll be okay. And you'll do great.

[ He really doesn't like the sound of this 'Dreaming' but far be it from Spock to overcompensate for Jim when his captain forges ahead. ]

Very well. I will ease the strain of the undue mental pressures you have been under since your arrival, that will suffice for the time being. We ought to perform the bond in private. [ Because of Reasons. ] Where would you feel most comfortable?

Look, it's not-- as bad as you're making it out to be, all right?

[He's had time to recover now, and Jim always has bounced back with remarkable alacrity. He doesn't want Spock to go in there expecting a wasteland when it's more... like a plain recovering after a drought. To use a metaphor.]

Hell. I don't know. Your place?

You agreed that the Archive violated your mind. In any case, you are human and should not be undergoing any psychic imbalance. As you are and will likely persist to do so in these extenuating circumstances — [ because he knows you ] — I feel it is necessary to maintain a level of professionalism. It is an area of expertise of mine.

[ Not unkindly, he adds, ] Come when you are ready.

I think we can agree no one is meant to have five thousand years of information crammed into their head. But I know a few people who've had to deal with... similar things, who knew how to help.

[He waves a hand dismissively. Mountains, mole hills.]

I'll be there in about half an hour.

I will be expecting you. Spock out.

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video | fleet encryption; private

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video | fleet encryption; private