Karkat Vantas ♋ carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crabmunicator) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu2013-11-29 03:02 pm
crabmunicator) wrote in tushanshu2013-11-29 03:02 pm
001 ♋ VIDEO
[The post begins with a shot of Karkat's grey, frowning face. This is not actually unusual, but lest it be dismissed as no more than his usual expression, there is the tone of his words to follow.]
Guess what! Apparently it's not enough for a guy to to learn one of the friends he hasn't seen in literal years is brainwashed and crazy. Apparently it's not enough to be informed that his Empress--not this "Emperor" here, the actual one from my world--expects him to just bow and scrape and go yes, your Condescension, I'd be happy to serve as your brand spanking new slave. It is not even enough, believe it or not, to be brutally murdered by giant fork by an even crazier broad than your brainwashed friend! Wow, who knew, right?
[He makes an exaggerated roll of his eyes.]
Instead of getting off that easy, nevermind the brief stint of amnesia and all the other chaos going on, I get brought here. Some giant fucking turtle in the middle of whatever planet this is, I don't care, don't even try to tell me because I am fresh out of shits to give. And for some kind of war against this M--
[He throws up his hands.]
Whoops! Can't say the M-name because magic is real and he might come get us. Wow, I am quaking so hard I might just barf up my organs in fear.
But let's stop being retarded for a while, shall we?
[His expression turns more serious, and his arms fold against the desk as he leans in closer.]
Who's here that knows me? Anyone? On my team or not, I want to know, and I want to know promptly. Beyond that, who here has any clue about getting out of this place? I didn't ask those keddy whatevers because obviously I wouldn't have been brought here if the point was just to let me waltz back to where I was. And yeah, yeah, I heard time is stopped there, but do you think I'd be asking this if I cared about that? I have big, important, leaderly business to do, and I cannot summon the electrical impulse to fire the neurons that would make me care about this mandatory break in plans. If you have info, I want to hear it, the end.
[And with that, he ends the video.]
Guess what! Apparently it's not enough for a guy to to learn one of the friends he hasn't seen in literal years is brainwashed and crazy. Apparently it's not enough to be informed that his Empress--not this "Emperor" here, the actual one from my world--expects him to just bow and scrape and go yes, your Condescension, I'd be happy to serve as your brand spanking new slave. It is not even enough, believe it or not, to be brutally murdered by giant fork by an even crazier broad than your brainwashed friend! Wow, who knew, right?
[He makes an exaggerated roll of his eyes.]
Instead of getting off that easy, nevermind the brief stint of amnesia and all the other chaos going on, I get brought here. Some giant fucking turtle in the middle of whatever planet this is, I don't care, don't even try to tell me because I am fresh out of shits to give. And for some kind of war against this M--
[He throws up his hands.]
Whoops! Can't say the M-name because magic is real and he might come get us. Wow, I am quaking so hard I might just barf up my organs in fear.
But let's stop being retarded for a while, shall we?
[His expression turns more serious, and his arms fold against the desk as he leans in closer.]
Who's here that knows me? Anyone? On my team or not, I want to know, and I want to know promptly. Beyond that, who here has any clue about getting out of this place? I didn't ask those keddy whatevers because obviously I wouldn't have been brought here if the point was just to let me waltz back to where I was. And yeah, yeah, I heard time is stopped there, but do you think I'd be asking this if I cared about that? I have big, important, leaderly business to do, and I cannot summon the electrical impulse to fire the neurons that would make me care about this mandatory break in plans. If you have info, I want to hear it, the end.
[And with that, he ends the video.]
text »
I know Eridan and am somewhat familiar with your species. My name is Spock.
text »
SERIOUSLY?
UGH.
HE MENTIONED YOU AND HOW YOU'RE LETTING HIM STAY WITH YOU FOR REASONS I UTTERLY FAIL TO COMPREHEND.
HE'S A COMPLETE AND TOTAL JERKWAD, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?
text »
text » I am sorry he is being a dick
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF HIGH CLASS DOUCHEBAG IN YOUR SOCIETY?
DO YOU MEET SUFFICIENT NOT A PEASANT CREDENTIALS TO BE WARMLY WELCOMED INTO THE OVERWHELMING AURA OF HIS EGOTISTICAL DRAMATICS
OR IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE I'M MISSING.
text » it's okay, it's karkat lol
Perhaps Eridan can explain. I suggest you contact him.
text »
FUCK NO.
NOT AFTER THAT WET SACK OF PUS DECIDED TO PLAY TURBO ASSHOLE TO ME FOR NO GOOD REASON.
EXPLAIN IT YOURSELF INSTEAD OF FOISTING IT OFF ON SOMEONE ELSE.
text »
[ Bullies. >:( ]
text »
ALSO, I INSULT ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE
AND GUESS WHAT?
THEY DEAL WITH IT!
THEY DON'T PLAY WHINY LITTLE GRUB AND REFUSE TO ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTION BECAUSE OH NOOO, BIG BAD TROLL USED A ~NAUGHTY WORD~ AT ME.
NOW WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOU TWO?
text »
[ And with that, he terminates the call.
HUNDRED MOTHERFUCKERS CAN'T TELL SPOCK NOTHIN'.]