tushanshu | 001 ♋ VIDEO

[The post begins with a shot of Karkat's grey, frowning face. This is not actually unusual, but lest it be dismissed as no more than his usual expression, there is the tone of his words to follow.]

Guess what! Apparently it's not enough for a guy to to learn one of the friends he hasn't seen in literal years is brainwashed and crazy. Apparently it's not enough to be informed that his Empress--not this "Emperor" here, the actual one from my world--expects him to just bow and scrape and go yes, your Condescension, I'd be happy to serve as your brand spanking new slave. It is not even enough, believe it or not, to be brutally murdered by giant fork by an even crazier broad than your brainwashed friend! Wow, who knew, right?

[He makes an exaggerated roll of his eyes.]

Instead of getting off that easy, nevermind the brief stint of amnesia and all the other chaos going on, I get brought here. Some giant fucking turtle in the middle of whatever planet this is, I don't care, don't even try to tell me because I am fresh out of shits to give. And for some kind of war against this M--

[He throws up his hands.]

Whoops! Can't say the M-name because magic is real and he might come get us. Wow, I am quaking so hard I might just barf up my organs in fear.

But let's stop being retarded for a while, shall we?

[His expression turns more serious, and his arms fold against the desk as he leans in closer.]

Who's here that knows me? Anyone? On my team or not, I want to know, and I want to know promptly. Beyond that, who here has any clue about getting out of this place? I didn't ask those keddy whatevers because obviously I wouldn't have been brought here if the point was just to let me waltz back to where I was. And yeah, yeah, I heard time is stopped there, but do you think I'd be asking this if I cared about that? I have big, important, leaderly business to do, and I cannot summon the electrical impulse to fire the neurons that would make me care about this mandatory break in plans. If you have info, I want to hear it, the end.

[And with that, he ends the video.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The only kinds I've seen are the big flashy kind with wands. So that? Entirely foreign to me. Deity gifts aren't a thing, either, considering gods are the fakest thing around, apart from god tiers which are more a game mechanic than literal holy beings made manifest.

What's this gift you have?

Mm, well my deity gift is...really a lot more fun for me to explain by showing. Think you'd be interested in stopping by the BT sometime?

[She enjoys seeing the looks on people's faces when she does it. Most of the time it's pretty entertaining when she does it around people who aren't from Askoupur.]

[He rolls his eyes, a little exasperated at the insistence on a direct demonstration, but not outright annoyed by it.]

Yeah, sure. You already gave me the directions, so I'll stop by sometime and you can do... [A vague hand motion.] ... whatever it is.

[He can look exasperated all he wants. He wants to know what her gift is? He gets to find out the way she wants to show him. The smile doesn't leave her face as she just nods.]

Sure thing. Just stop by whenever. It's rare you won't catch me there during open hours. Mm, there anything else you need to know about or should I let you go?

Not at the moment. I want to go see about those vouchers for winter clothes, anyhow.

[The exasperation fades quickly. She's helpful! That's a good thing in his book.]

I'll see you around.

Sounds like a good idea. Stay warm and I'll see you sometime.

[Offering a wave and a smile, she disconnects.]

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