tushanshu | ♒ 4th Video

[The feed turns on and there's none other than Eridan Ampora with his arms across his chest staring right at the viewer. He's still without his cape, so he's just in his usual sweater with the purple aquarius symbol on the front, and his dumb blue striped scarf. However, behind him certainly is a giant, floating, white seahorse. Fancy that. Also, anyone familiar with Spock's residence may notice that he's there instead of his own place. ~Hivvemates~. His eyebrow quirks upward after a full second or so, as if maybe trying to figure out what to say, but eventually he does speak.]

So I'we come to the conclusion that I may need a more stable means a income. Recently I hawe more or less emptied my coffers a beetles, so to speak, in a purchase that was downright necessary and I rather myself a steady income.

[He leans in, his folded arms pressing onto the flat surface of the desk as he leans on them, effectively bringing himself closer to the camera.]

Now, before any a you pink-skinned animals come to me giwin' me some sorta peasant work, I ain't interested. Plain and flippin' simple. I am willin' to lower myself to work for the juulan, but I ain't about to demean myself in some way fuckin' awful. I'm a prince, and I will be treated accordin'ly. And as such, I expect dignified jobs worthy a my expertise and standin'.

[One hand raises to cup his chin, his fingers curling against his jaw and cheek.]

So, consider this my way a beseechin' you employers out there. If you need any additional information about me, feel free to use this to giwe me a questionnaire a sorts, or whatewer it is you need.

[It is pretty dang obvious that Eridan knows near to nothing about how hiring processes work. The way Alternia did things was he just sorta... pillaged what he could. Made sense, made use of what he's good at.]

I figure I may as well go this diplomatic route - despite diplomacy newer quite bein' my thing - considerin' the other way may leawe a few a you dirtscrapers a bit sore an' sorry, so consider this just a fraction a my magnanimity, so don't go spittin' in my face an' makin' me regret it. I could always go for my first choice an' do things Alternian style, after all.

[Yeah. He lets that threat linger there for a few good moments, even a bit of a 'try me look' into the camera, before he settles back into his seat, arms freshly folded over his chest again.]

I'm waitin'.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kar, do you got some business or some sort a means to pay me?

My business is the fact that you're approaching this in the most backward, unintuitive way I've yet to bear witness to, and my means of paying you is the piping hot load of knowledge I'm trying to feed to your auricular sponge clots. So open up and listen to the actual point, you ignorant tool.

Okay, but that ain't the business I'm after, nor the payment I want to receiwe, so kindly disconnect, I got important matters to keep afloat without you distractin' me.

I know what I'm doin' here.

[Karkat scowls.]

And again you fail to pay attention! Either your head's full of air and the point zoomed straight through, or it's made of fucking titanium and it bounced off like it was the hull of the Battleship Condescension itself.

If you actually manage to find a job with your hire-me-because-I-say-so bravado, let me know. I want to hear how you made something that stupid work.

[But look at that: he's disconnecting, as asked.]

[A few minutes later...]

it isnt that i dont appreciate your concern ovver my ability to get a job on my owwn
its that
wwell ok maybe it is that
wway to not havve any faith in me wwhatsoevver i do believve im the one wwho has been here the longest and as such i KNOWW wwhat im doin and wwhat wworks

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT TELLS ME TO DISCONNECT AND THEN MESSAGES ME AFTER I DO IT?
HOW CAN YOU BE THAT BAD AT PERSONAL INTERACTION.
IT BOGGLES THE MIND.
HERE I AM, SITTING IN PERPLEXITY, LOST FOREVER IN THE MAZE OF CONFUSION
NO ENLIGHTENMENT TO BRIGHTEN MY PATH
WITH SOLELY THE FOG OF DUMBASSERY TO BE MY COMPANION.
ASK ME ANYTHING, ERIDAN, ANYTHING AT ALL
I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW MY ANSWER WILL BE A SOLID, RESOUNDING "DURRRRR."

that sure is a lot a other wwords for your supposed only response bein DURRRRR
wwhatevver
look maybe i didnt wwant you feelin too bad about me tellin you bugger off or somesuch
SORRY for bein concerned

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.
AND I WASN'T FEELING TOO BAD ABOUT IT THEN.
BUT HEY, GUESS WHAT
MAYBE I WAS TRYING TO SHOW SOME CONCERN TOO BY TELLING YOU THAT APPROACH PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO WORK.
I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A JOB, AND YOU WILL PROBABLY GET BETTER RESULTS IF YOU APPROACH IF WITH AN ATTITUDE THAT ISN'T "GIVE ME A JOB THAT FITS MY WANTS BECAUSE I SAY SO."

but its better im upfront wwith them about wwhat the fuck i aint gonna be interested in
its only right i get a job befittin my type a qualifications after all

THEN TELL THEM THAT, BUT ALSO GIVE SOME SOLID REASONS FOR WHY TO HIRE YOU
WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT, WHAT YOU CAN DO, WHY YOU'LL BE A GOOD EMPLOYEE
SHIT LIKE THAT.

i bloody DID and you ridiculed me for it
and i also said they could use this post to ask questions for qualification purposes kar god its like you didnt evven listen to half a the bloody thing

I ONLY RIDICULED YOU BECAUSE YOU SAID HEY GIVE ME A GOOD JOB WITHOUT THE PART ABOUT WHY TO HIRE YOU.
YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE AN ARROGANT, SELF-SERVING PRICK INSTEAD OF AN ATTRACTIVE EMPLOYEE.
SAY I RAN A JOB YOU WERE PERFECT FOR
HYPOTHETICALLY BECAUSE I DON'T AND I DON'T DO HALF THE STUFF YOU DO, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF EXAMPLE.
EVEN IF YOU COULD DO IT ALL FINE, I'D SAY FUCK NO BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME NO REASON TO HIRE YOU
NOR TO THINK YOU WOULD BE PERSONALLY DECENT TO INTERACT WITH INSTEAD OF A CONSTANT PAIN IN MY SIDE.
EVEN IF THEY HAVE THE OPTION TO ASK QUESTIONS, IT WOULD HELP YOUR CASE IF YOU ADVERTISED YOUR SKILLS A LITTLE BEFOREHAND.

youre exaggeratin
it wwasnt THAT bad

AM NOT.
I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN THEY DO, WHICH IS WHY I'M EVEN TRYING TO GIVE YOU THIS ADVICE.
IT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRYING TO PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T SHOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT AND TAKING THE HELP OF SOMEONE WHO WANTS YOU TO GET IT BANDAGED UP.

wwhat the fuck makes you the expert on this anywway it aint like you evver had a job before

SHUT UP
IT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T OFFER SOUND ADVICE.

kar you knoww about as much as i do so i dont get howw you can offer any such sound advvice wwhen you dont flippin knoww either

BECAUSE OF TWO LITTLE THINGS CALLED LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE, YOU HERNIATED HOOFBEAST'S ENTRAILS.
IS IT THAT UNBELIEVABLE THAT I COULD IMAGINE MYSELF IN AN EMPLOYER'S POSITION AND DECIDE WHAT DOES OR DOESN'T SOUND ATTRACTIVE TO ACCEPT FOR A GIVEN JOB?

howw does havvin a member a the rulin caste wworkin for you NOT sound attractivve

TROLL CASTE DOESN'T EXIST HERE!
IT LITERALLY DOES NOT MATTER.
ONLY US AND WHOEVER YOU'VE FLUTTERED YOUR WORD FLAPS TO ABOUT IT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.

thats wwhy i said wwhat i did
announcin myself as a prince cuz i fuckin am and that still means somethin wwhether they knoww the caste or not

SO THE WHOLE LOOKING LIKE AN ARROGANT PRICK PART WAS ON PURPOSE, HUH.
GOOD TO KNOW.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

oh shut up
you dont get it and you nevver fuckin wwill

I DON'T GET IT BECAUSE IT'S STUPID, AND PRETENTIOUS, AND A HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

wwhich is exactly wwhat someone wwho doesnt havve a clue about this shit wwould say
look thanks for your concern but i got this handled i knoww wwhat im doin far better than you obvviously do

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crabmunicator - 2013-12-10 20:03 (UTC) - Expand

♒ 4th Video

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