tushanshu | Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

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Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

[The feed clicks on to a new face, a severely annoyed and unimpressed face. The broadcast is from one of the cafe booths, because this guy just cannot sit still for long, even when he feels a lot like death warmed over. He leans over to peer unnecessarily close to the monitor, before slumping back in the booth with an irritated 'hnph!'.]

So, it does work. Well isn't that nice. I'm sure anyone watching this thing has done this little tango before so I'll cut out the pleasantries. First order of business, what's a guy gotta do to get a pizza around here? And second, great story about your little problem and all, but is there any way we can skip climbing the evil tower and go straight to the main event?

I'm late for a party back home, you see, and I'd really hate to miss out on the festivities. It's a pretty big gig, I'm sure you understand.

[This one has only the most pleasant social skills.]

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Oh do you like it? My smart-mouth I mean, I know you like the purple hair, you'd hawe to be a total tasteless idiot to not. But judgin' by the fuck ugly red coat, methinks I'we a idea where your taste lies.

[Eridan's feeling pretty sassy today, yep.]

Yeah it ain't that simple, I'we been here a perigee, maybe a little longer, and look at that, still here. I suggest you get fuckin' comfortable.

Got a problem with red, pointy? Well, too bad, I don't give a damn what you think, and I sure as hell can't take advice on style from a guy dressed up like grape juice.

[Good just what he needed.]

Pedigree, what the hell does dog breeding have to do with anything? I'm not looking for a change of career and if I was it sure as hell wouldn't be to deal with a bunch of mutts.

[Seriously though his listening skills.]

Pointy? Well that's a new one. Dressed like grape juice... You know, I hadn't a clue that a bewerage could dress itself. Who knew.

[That gets an baffled look. Pedigree? Mutts???]

I said perigee idiot. You know, like a full cycle a the moons? Are you as retarded as you look? I would not at all be surprised by that.

[He says a lot of words and most of them don't make sense when strung together, it's fine to be confused Eridan that's a pretty standard reaction to Dante.]

Right, sorry man never went with moon cycles, unless you're talking about a month. Still don't know what months have to do with dog breeding, but whatever. So, you got anything helpful for me, Points, or are you just here as part of the welcoming committee?

They'll hire anyone these days.

[This fucking guy...]

The name's Eridan Ampora, an' no I ain't part a no welcome committee. Dunno what your fixation on woofbeast breedin' is, since I didn't mention anythin' ewen REMOTELY fuckin' similar, but whatewer.

[Brace yourself, Eridan, you will have that feeling a lot.]

With that stunning personality of yours? I'm shocked, I would have taken you as chairman. Guess it just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.

[He's just messing with you now can you tell?]

Edited 2013-12-19 03:07 (UTC)

[... Is this sarcasm, he's not even sure.]

Yeah well, I'we better things to do than welcome a bunch a inferior bein's to a fuckin' turtle-bound city. I'm a busy troll.

[Perfect.

Troll, huh. Makes a note.]

Yeah, sure, you seem real busy, Points. Watching television and waiting for someone to say just the right thing for you to act self-important at, am I right?

Ain't watchin' no telewision, idiot. An' what I'm busy doin' ain't any business a yours, that's for damn fuckin' sure.

That's just another way of saying you don't have a damned thing going on and just want to sound important.

[He doesn't even care if he's right he just really enjoys riling this guy up.]

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Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

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