tushanshu | Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

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Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

[The feed clicks on to a new face, a severely annoyed and unimpressed face. The broadcast is from one of the cafe booths, because this guy just cannot sit still for long, even when he feels a lot like death warmed over. He leans over to peer unnecessarily close to the monitor, before slumping back in the booth with an irritated 'hnph!'.]

So, it does work. Well isn't that nice. I'm sure anyone watching this thing has done this little tango before so I'll cut out the pleasantries. First order of business, what's a guy gotta do to get a pizza around here? And second, great story about your little problem and all, but is there any way we can skip climbing the evil tower and go straight to the main event?

I'm late for a party back home, you see, and I'd really hate to miss out on the festivities. It's a pretty big gig, I'm sure you understand.

[This one has only the most pleasant social skills.]

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Didn't their parents ever teach them manners? [Yeah, yeah, he knows this but he's still going to complain.]

Yeah, sure, maybe once I've had my fill.

[He's a brat but the smirk means he's only half-kidding. He might clue you in, pal, if he's feeling generous.]

I can't say. I don't usually get to know them well enough to ask about their parents. [It just doesn't seem like a polite thing to do while you're trying to pound the bad guy's face in.]

Of course. I should warn you though, the food here...even stuff that's familiar, can be a little bland. Think of it as having the generic brands of every food you can think of. It's good enough to get by on, but it doesn't often live up to expectations.

I suppose not. But really, kids these days. [Dante does but then again he has no manners.]

This just keeps getting better and better. First no pizza, and now you're telling me they're feeding us prison food? This place is starting to sound a lot less like a vacation and a lot more like some kind of camp bullshit.

Try to think of it more as...exploring a new culture. A culture that just happens to have not so great food. But I didn't say all of it is bad.

So tell me, is there any kind of benefit to this place or should I just expect to be perpetually pissed off?

The people are pretty cool for the most part. So is the fact that we're living in a city that sits on the back of a giant turtle. [Seriously, Dante. How can you not appreciate how awesome that is?]

[He looks thoughtful for a moment. Truth be told he hadn't bothered to take the time to really think about it. Honestly he's still not completely convinced that he isn't dead/insane/stuck in some bizarre ass limbo.]

You know, you've got a point. Still, it could be better if they threw in a pizza place.

[Always with the pizza this guy.]

Well there's always the hope that they'll bring someone over who owns a pizza place in their world and decides to set up a new shops here.

...That would be pretty cool actually.

That's what I'm talking about. Any way to put in a request? "Please kidnap a pizza chef".

I don't think so. I mean, you can try to contact the Emperor about it about I don't think she takes requests.

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Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

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