tushanshu | Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

Entry tags:

Mission 1 - This isn't where I parked my bike

[The feed clicks on to a new face, a severely annoyed and unimpressed face. The broadcast is from one of the cafe booths, because this guy just cannot sit still for long, even when he feels a lot like death warmed over. He leans over to peer unnecessarily close to the monitor, before slumping back in the booth with an irritated 'hnph!'.]

So, it does work. Well isn't that nice. I'm sure anyone watching this thing has done this little tango before so I'll cut out the pleasantries. First order of business, what's a guy gotta do to get a pizza around here? And second, great story about your little problem and all, but is there any way we can skip climbing the evil tower and go straight to the main event?

I'm late for a party back home, you see, and I'd really hate to miss out on the festivities. It's a pretty big gig, I'm sure you understand.

[This one has only the most pleasant social skills.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ No, that's not what he's saying at all. And Tony is about to correct him, with something no doubt equally obscure, when he hears this proposing to a mop business. He's never done that before.

But he has done other equally dumb things. ]

I bought a palm tree in Hawaii once. A whole bunch of them. In the middle of nowhere. They're still there. I think someone wanted to build a strip mall or something, couldn't do it because I wouldn't sell the trees.

[ Ass-backwards conservation, stubborn, contrary Tony Stark style. ]

[It was a particularly attractive mop.

But no that is actually an awesome story. Dante barks a laugh.]

You're a real environmentalist, man. Keeping those trees safe for future generations and all.

[This is the part where the conversation stops having a point, but that's fine by Dante pretty much everything out of his mouth is rather pointless.]

[ He grins. ]

I'm just doing my part to make life as frustrating and inconvenient for people as possible.

[ Saving the trees is a nice bonus. ]

So how'd it go with you and your sweetheart?

[ Tony doesn't mind having pointless conversations at all. ]

Sounds like you're doing a damn fine job at it too.

[Clearly you are his new best friend.]

Bah, it wasn't meant to be. The barkeep just didn't appreciate true love in bloom. He hit me with her and kicked me out.

[Do you see this pout because wow can he put on a dramatic pout.]

Guess he's a subscriber to the romance is dead theory.

[ So's Tony, but who's counting? ]

Don't worry. There are other mops in the closet. We'll find you a better one.

You're telling me. Talk about a party killer.

[A dramatic sigh.]

Eh, I'm over mops. There will never be another mop for me, but maybe a broom.

[This is from the guy who wouldn't know how to clean if you beat him with one.]