tushanshu | 001 [video]

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001 [video]

[ooc: No spoilers for Frozen, jsyk.]

[Despite having been taught how to use the computers and the seeming necessity of doing so, Hans hadn't been quick to make his entrance. He's been observing, trying to get an idea of the sort of people he'll come across here, it's a while before he's entirely ready to begin playing along.

A bright, smiling face will appear on the feed, he's pretty delighted that he's learned how to work the contraption with such ease. He seems a little unsure of how to start, whether he should introduce himself or head straight into the issues here. Instead, he opts for small talk.]

It was very nice of the people here to teach us how to use these, we don't have anything like it where I'm from. [He gives a soft laugh.] I thought I should take the time to introduce myself. I am Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, but since they aren't here... [He trails off, looking just a bit concerned by that.] Hans, will do.

I haven't been here long, so any information you can provide would be most appreciated..And in turn, if there is any way in which I can assist you, please do not hesitate to let me know. [He can't help bowing his head a little at the computer. He's not really sure if you're meant to bow at them. Royalty could be watching, it seems a safe bet.]

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[Sticking out is right. Hans has had some dealings with the not-so-normal, but he certainly can't boast experience with someone who looks like Eridan. However, since he doesn't seem to be posing a threat, he'll approach the situation like he would with any normal person.]

Really? Well, that's certainly good to hear! I'm not opposed to familiarising myself with non-royals, but the advice is helpful nonetheless.

[But back to the important things.] Hope? Is that your kingdom? [He's heard stranger things.]

Ain't no issue fraternizin' with those not a royal blood none, but some company is best left alone in the gutters in which they dwell. [He's such a delight.]

No it ain't, more like the aspect a which I rule. I got jurisdiction ower all things hope. Howewer, I AM a the rulin' class a Alternia, which is my home planet. [long since destroyed, but Hans don't know that!!]

You certainly have strong opinions. [And he'll just leave it at that with a smile, of course.]

I've never heard of something like that before. [But it might solve some problems back home.] But then, I've never heard of Alternia before. Is everyone [Grey.] ..Like you?

That a problem? [He raises an eyebrow at that, before settling in his seat.]

We're from different uniwerses it ain't all that surprisin' you ain't heard a it before. [He narrows his eyes at the question though.]

Is eweryone pink an' squishy where you're from? [It's said blandly, almost bored. A dismissive way of saying 'yes' without sacrificing his sass any.]

Eweryone from Alternia is a troll, which means we got the horns, the grey skin, the--well, not eweryone got the fins like I do, but whatewer.

Certainly not! People with strong views always make for interesting conversation, wouldn't you say?

Forgive me, I'm still adjusting to the concept. [He says like he didn't ask a deliberately obtuse question on the hopes Eridan would answer fully.] Not everyone is pink, no. I wouldn't categorise myself as squishy either, but I suppose that's a matter of personal opinion.

A troll? Aren't trolls usually.. [He tries to express the shape of one with his hands, but it's not really working for him.] ..Rounder? [But more importantly.] Do you do magic? Why are you the only one with fins?

I'm bombarding you, aren't I? I apologise, I'll stop now.

[Eridan gives Hans an approving look at the swweet savve, but then finds himself sort of squinting and tilting his head slightly as he goes on. He's rambling, really, and Eridan finds himself unsure if Hans is trying to imply that trolls are supposed to be fat or if Eridan's too skinny. Really now, what's he's supposed to think when he has no idea that trolls are a thing in Hans' world?]

[By the end of it, Eridan settled on giving him a flat look. Not exactly irritated, but not a vision of bemusement either.]

Only slightly. But it's fine, ramblin' and wantin' to know about a species far more impressiwe than your own is nothin' if not natural.

Don't know what you're tryin' to imply with the 'rounder' comment though, so let's just... dismiss that altogether, it'd be the best for both of us. Howewer. I don't do magic, it ain't real, there for it can't be done. I do do science though. Far more real. Far less of a thing for fuckin' grubs.

[As if to demonstrate, he draws his wwand out, it glowing quite brightly as a show of power. flicking it idly through the open air, wisps of white leaving a bright trail behind it. TOTALLY NOT MAGIC, HANS, REALLY. This is clear, undeniable truth this is anything but that faky fake shit.]

As for my fins. [He says as he finishes his little demonstration. Feel special Hans, he did that because he felt you worthy enough to show off for. What with you being a prince and all.]

I ain't the absolute only one with 'em, but the only one here who does. It's 'cos I'm a sea troll. A royal blood a my species. A genetic superior to the castes bound to be nothin' but sandstompin' filth.

[Well, he's grey like a troll at least. Hans certainly hadn't set out to offend Eridan over his weight, but pressing his buttons seems to get answers at the very least.]

More impressive? [He echoes, raising a brow but not pressing any more offense or confusion.]

We don't need to dismiss it! Where I come from? Trolls look more like- and this is going to sound crazy- Rocks. And they do magic! I mean, I've never seen one, but I've read about them! Everybody does!

[He simmers down as Eridan draws his wand, widening his stupid, bambi eyes at the display.]

...Are you sure that isn't magic? I'm no expert, but it certainly looks a lot like it. [He nods in understanding as Eridan continues to elaborate, but he's clearly more interested in the supposed not!magic for the moment. He does take note to remember the significance of the fins in the future, at least..]

[Press his buttons too much and he might press your eyes into your skull. Just sayin'.]

[However, to the 'more impressive' comment, Eridan simply nods. Like it's absolute fact, duh stupid human, gosh!! Just look at him! Astounding!!]

Rocks. [Eridan says it flatly, his expression following suit.] Are these the same trolls that sleep under bridges? [Because yes, he has heard about those ones. But he seems to rile when Hans questions him. He just told you what it was, STUPID!!]

Yes I'm absolutely fuckin' sure it's not magic. Seein' as I'm the one wieldin' it, I think I would flippin' know. [he nearly spits that out with agitation. He doesn't care what it LOOKS like, he knows what it is!]

Yes, rocks! [He can't help sputtering a little. Why is it so hard to believe when you're an alien!!] No? I mean, not that I've heard of. I suppose there's nothing stopping them..

Alright, alright. [He resists the urge to laugh at how violently Eridan's temper flares. It certainly shouldn't be funny to him, but he's not scared of him even with his magic. Not yet, anyway.] I'm sure it's not magic, not at all. It just looks a lot like it, that's what I'm saying. [And he'll follow that with a sweet little smile.]

[Eridan is half convinced this guy is off his rocker with these rock-troll things. Maybe he got high in some woods and thought the rocks were living. Eridan knows Gamzee after all, it's a possibility he's not willing to dismiss!] Okay, sure. Rock trolls. They ain't what I am. Not ewen close.

Don't matter what it looks like. You look competent, but I am hawin' my doubts. [That smile does nothing, however, it's met with Eridan's own grumpiness, but Hans isn't totally pissing him off. Just the usual misunderstandings, and him relenting on his R U SURE ITS NOT MAHJIK helped. A lot.]

So there's more than one kind of troll? Fascinating. [And he actually looks genuinely amazed by that.]

I am perfectly competent, I assure you. You have to understand I have a small amount of experience with magic and while it's by no means the same I'd certainly say there are similarities. Of course, it's not hard to believe given that there are trolls in both of our worlds but they're both entirely different things. [A beat.] Am I right?

On my planet alone there were land and sea trolls, so it ain't all that fuckin' surprisin'.

[Eridan squints.]

Similar or not don't mean shit in the long run. Because when it comes down to it, this [A notable swish of his wand, with white trailing behind it, glowing ominously] ain't magic. No more than I [A gesture to himself with his wand] am one a your stupid rock trolls.

You and apes got a lot a similarities, but you don't see me callin' you a fuckin' slack-jawed, knuckle-draggin' chimp. [Not that he hasn't in the past to other humans, of course he has, but that is besides the fucking point right now.]

Edited 2013-12-30 07:13 (UTC)

[Wow, Eridan. You are an exercise in patience if Hans ever saw one. His smile strains a little at the vitriol, but he gives Eridan a moment before he gets into it.]

I think there's a little more significance to it than that, if you put your mind to it, but it's clearly a sensitive issue and I have no desire to upset you with something so petty. [So he'll smile a little wider.] Have you been here long?

[Yeah he's... kind of a patience check for everyone. Moody and grumpy as fucking ever for everyone, unless they win him over.]

[Like Hans is currently working on with all his backing down. Eridan likes that.]

It ain't sensitiwe, I just got no patience for idiocy. [But he's willing to let it go.]

About two perigees.

[Hans is very much a pick-your-battles kind of guy. There's no crown to win here, so he has no interest in making an enemy.]

Would you happen to know the squishy, pink equivalent to perigee, because I think you may have lost me there.

[GROAN. So tired of having to explain shit to humans, god why couldn't they just KNOW these things?!]

A perigee is basically a human month.

Of course! [Hey, man. It could have been year and then you being a dick would make so much more sense.] So, if you don't mind my asking, what is it that makes trolls the superior species? I've been curious since you brought it up.

Uh, ewerythin'? We're far stronger than you, our bodies far more durable, you're a wery fragile species. We also got far more adwanced think pans than you spongeless apes. That aside, you humans don't know the first thing about bein' bloody cruel at all. I could best ewery one a you in a fight with my eyes closed an' prongs tied.

Do you need a personal demonstration a my superiority, or is that a good enough fuckin' answer?

No, I think what you did earlier was impressive enough. Here I don't even have my sword on me. [Look at that adorable, self-depreciating laugh.] I wouldn't be so sure as far as cruelty goes. As a species most of us strive for good and honor, but those of us who don't can't cause quite a stir.

Good.

Yeah see, there lies the fuckin' canyon a differences between us. Trolls are wicious and powerful, we ain't afraid to take liwes where they need to be taken, [or where they don't] good an' honor don't mean shit when you're dead.

Edited 2014-01-12 21:37 (UTC)

That description certainly suits a handful of people I know, but it only really gets out of hand when they're in an influential position. That's when wars start to arise and more people get involved. Not unlike here, I suppose.

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