NINE ☰ VIDEO;

[candystriped]

So which of you idiots are going to this kedan powwow thing tonight? I need to know who to send sympathy cards to when you all come home with STDs from whatever weird experiment they're planning to do on you.

And by sympathy card I mean I want an embarrassing picture to post online.

Comments

[langsyne]

[Aha.]

If you really want blackmail-worthy pictures though, why don't you just go yourself? I guarantee you'll get better shots that way.

[candystriped]

I don't exactly blend in, I'm too nice looking for that.

[langsyne]

So? Who says you gotta blend in? You could just strut in acting like you own the place. That seems to work for some people.

[candystriped]

Because then how would I get the good candid shots?

[langsyne]

[Good point.]

You could wear a disguise. Or ask someone else to do it for you.

[candystriped]

Huh... do you think someone would? Would I have to pay them?

[langsyne]

[A shrug.] Probably. Unless you asked real nicely. But even then you'd probably still have to pay them something, even if it was something like candy.

[candystriped]

THE CANDY IS ALL MINE!!

1/2

[langsyne]

[Holy Jesus balls what is even happening right now—]

2/2

[langsyne]

[Hastily:] Relax, you don't have to give them any candy, the candy's still yours.

[This girl must have one insane sweet tooth or something.]

You can always give them something else, I'm sure there's tons of things that people like that aren't candy.

Re: 2/2

[candystriped]

[ Welcome to anyone's life who tries to deal with her on a regular basis, Scott. But the reassurance about the candy seems to settle her once again. ]

Okay, good. It's hard to get proper sweets around here, so I don't want anyone taking them from me.

[langsyne]

[He honestly hasn't had much exposure to sweet stuff here, so the comment makes him curious.]

I haven't really noticed. Is chocolate really that much in demand here?

[candystriped]

It's all I eat, so I have to have more than everyone else.

[langsyne]

[.........]

You mean like....metaphorically, right?

[candystriped]

Why would that be a metaphor?

[langsyne]

........Because otherwise you'd get diabetes?

[Along with a whole host of other diseases, no doubt.]

[candystriped]

[ Stocking waves an uncaring hand at the worry. ]

Only humans have to worry about problems like that.

[langsyne]

[Well that's one unasked question answered.]

And I'm guessing the same goes for cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and cancer?

[candystriped]

Exactly! It's so much nicer than having to fuck around with that sort of thing.

[langsyne]

[She's got a point there, he's gotta admit.]

So, what exactly are you then? Alien, demon, some basement nerd's wildest fantasy?

[candystriped]

I'm an angel, thank you very much. Though I wouldn't be surprised if people have fantasies about me!

[langsyne]

[squint]

I thought angels weren't supposed to give into vices and cravings.

[candystriped]

It means we can't be tempted to vices! Nothing in the rules about indulging in them willingly.

[langsyne]

.....And the big guy's okay with that?

[He's not particularly religious by any means, but there's something that just seems horribly off by this whole thing.]

[candystriped]

He's busier with things than managing the rank and file.