Perhaps that was...a wrong choice of words, at that.
[Enjolras is pausing, frowning thoughtfully as he tries to consider it. He's used to selecting the words that will get attention, to creating headlines, or slogans. Precision is a part of it, but a smaller part when evoking emotion is important too.]
If not an absence of fear, entirely, then perhaps that feeling that fear is something one can conquer, perhaps. I don't explain this well, but the idea that it is within my control, that I alone choose what I do with it. It was rare that I had such exhilarating moments, or understood them properly until I had been here.
[It was not until he had experienced the worst of fears that he had found that, when it came to other things, there was a joy to be taken in doing difficult and dangerous things, in testing limits, and, even at times, in accepting the pain that came with failure, and was its due. ]
It was rare that I understood things were dangerous and knew I had faced worse before, I suppose, and that I would likely survive. There is a great deal to be said for those realizations, somehow. In Paris, I was afraid for the others, for our work, that I had not done enough to advance it, but here, it's easier to do things when there is only me at risk. I cannot be afraid for myself, somehow, if that makes any sort of sense.
no subject
[Enjolras is pausing, frowning thoughtfully as he tries to consider it. He's used to selecting the words that will get attention, to creating headlines, or slogans. Precision is a part of it, but a smaller part when evoking emotion is important too.]
If not an absence of fear, entirely, then perhaps that feeling that fear is something one can conquer, perhaps. I don't explain this well, but the idea that it is within my control, that I alone choose what I do with it. It was rare that I had such exhilarating moments, or understood them properly until I had been here.
[It was not until he had experienced the worst of fears that he had found that, when it came to other things, there was a joy to be taken in doing difficult and dangerous things, in testing limits, and, even at times, in accepting the pain that came with failure, and was its due. ]
It was rare that I understood things were dangerous and knew I had faced worse before, I suppose, and that I would likely survive. There is a great deal to be said for those realizations, somehow. In Paris, I was afraid for the others, for our work, that I had not done enough to advance it, but here, it's easier to do things when there is only me at risk. I cannot be afraid for myself, somehow, if that makes any sort of sense.