001 | Video

[skeletonenigma]

[To be honest, he would have preferred text, but this is a perfect opportunity to test out the console. The keyboard is self-explanatory. The video function isn't. One of the kedan had offered to show Skulduggery how it worked, but he’d politely declined. He didn’t particularly feel like being saddled with a guide for the entirety of his time here.]

Ah, there we go. Excellent.

[This does, of course, mean that he can now be seen. He was a little concerned about that when all of this was first being explained to him, but then he saw someone walking around in the city with blue skin and two heads. He’s rather less concerned now.

... He doesn't really have anything to ask, though, now that he’s thinking about it.]

Thank you. Carry on.

[Yes, that was a skull talking just then, Irish accent and moving jaw and all. Why do you ask?]

Comments

[skeletonenigma]

[He's amused. So, so amused.]

It's not normal where I come from. I'm something of an enigma. But for me? Yes. Being a skeleton is normal.

[escarabajo]

Okay, excellent. I don't think our hospital's covered for replacing literally all of the flesh on a body-- we're good, but not that good.

[He briefly entertains a few bad sci-fi methods to regrow flesh. None of them are attractive in the least, literally and figuratively.]

Did you need something? [Jaime's trying really hard to take the skeleton thing in stride; it's working fairly well. He's seen weirder, even if it's still kind of startling to talk to a skull.] Apart from letting us know the skeleton thing, I mean.

[skeletonenigma]

My flesh was removed, as it were, after I died. I don't think your hospital has anything to worry about. Not unless there's someone well-versed in science-magic, and even then.

[His expert back home couldn't do it, after all. Then again, his expert back home hated him, so said expert was probably biased. And was also dead now. Funny how the details always seemed to shift.]

Oh, no, don't mind me. I know I'm fairly impressive. I don't need confirmation for that. I was just experimenting with these consoles.

[escarabajo]

Oh! So you're, uh. Undead. I really hope that's not derogatory, or anything. Please tell me if it is. [How do you even go about being tactful with the undead? (living-impaired? heck if he knows.)]

They have text, video, and audio, and they can only reach people within the city on other consoles. If you're trying for the internet or anything, you won't have any luck there.

[skeletonenigma]

Oh, I'm quite dead. You can use 'living skeleton,' if that makes you uncomfortable. [It's kind of hard to offend Skulduggery about his state of existence. Most days, he even brags about it.]

Ah. A network of consoles, an internet that doesn't extend past Keeliai. Has anyone ever explained why that is? In fact, has anyone ever explained much of anything useful?

[escarabajo]

No, it's okay-- it's more about what you're comfortable with. [Politeness to a 'living skeleton'. Now his life's gotten really weird.]

Because we're on a different world entirely and I don't know what other kind of internet is on the rest of the continent. As for the rest of the answers you're looking for, I'd take it up with the Emperor. If he's willing to be generous with you, that is.

[skeletonenigma]

I'm comfortable with anything, so long as you don't try to kill me.

[You'd think that should go without saying, but...]

I've been told about the Emperor, yes. It seems he's the only one who can answer most of my questions. It's very frustrating.

[escarabajo]

But aren't you already... Oh, never mind.

Believe me. You're not the only person who feels that way. If there's anything that isn't huge and cosmic you're wondering about, though, I could try? I've been here for a while.

[skeletonenigma]

[He has to think about that. The most mundane questions, he knows from experience, can easily be the most important ones - it's just a matter of thinking of them.]

How large is the turtle? It's the size of a continent, according to the kedan, but that doesn't really help. Does anyone have exact dimensions?