001 | Video

[skeletonenigma]

[To be honest, he would have preferred text, but this is a perfect opportunity to test out the console. The keyboard is self-explanatory. The video function isn't. One of the kedan had offered to show Skulduggery how it worked, but he’d politely declined. He didn’t particularly feel like being saddled with a guide for the entirety of his time here.]

Ah, there we go. Excellent.

[This does, of course, mean that he can now be seen. He was a little concerned about that when all of this was first being explained to him, but then he saw someone walking around in the city with blue skin and two heads. He’s rather less concerned now.

... He doesn't really have anything to ask, though, now that he’s thinking about it.]

Thank you. Carry on.

[Yes, that was a skull talking just then, Irish accent and moving jaw and all. Why do you ask?]

Comments

[skeletonenigma]

I'd say the same, but, well. I don't sleep.

[Keeps him undead, perhaps?]

Nice to meet you, Garrett Hawke. I look forward to speaking with you again.

[iwannabeadragon]

You must have a lot of free time then.

[The undead are weird.]

I've been hearing that a lot more often since I've been here. Honestly it's a nice change of pace. And let's just stick with Hawke.

[skeletonenigma]

You'd be amazed how many more hours there are in the day when you don't need to spend half of them unconscious.

[He usually does anyway, because the relaxation of meditation can do wonders for one's sanity. But the flexibility of not needing to comes in very useful.]

You were pulled from a war, weren't you? [He knows the feeling.]

[iwannabeadragon]

Now that would be a useful trick to have. Except for the whole being dead thing.

[Hawke looks thoughtful for a moment.]

You could say that.

[skeletonenigma]

[He nods sagely.] Being dead is vastly overrated.

Not going well?

[iwannabeadragon]

And bad for your health from what I hear.

That would be putting it mildly.

[skeletonenigma]

That depends on what you define as health. These days, I never have to worry about getting sick. About the most I have to worry about is some small animal stealing a limb and running off with it.

[Small animals like goblins. Yep, Skulduggery's still sore about that.]

Good luck, when you make it back. [He doesn't need the details in order to be genuine. War is a terrible and all-consuming thing. Skulduggery knows that all too well.]

[iwannabeadragon]

Normally I define being healthy as also being alive. Maybe you don't get sick but there a lot of fun things that I can only do with a heartbeat.

[Even if he hasn't engaged in some of those things in years.]

I'll take all the luck I can carry. I tend to run through fairly quickly.

[When he gets back people are either going to want him dead or want him to save the world. Or both.]

[skeletonenigma]

True. [His voice takes on a wistful note.] I do miss being able to eat. I've never even tried a hamburger.

[Up in the air whether he's actually being oblivious or not.]

[iwannabeadragon]

Alright, this may sound stupid, but what's a hamburger?

[skeletonenigma]

[He chuckles.] A slab of something that's mostly beef, but not completely, stuck between two slices of bread with lettuce and tomatoes and occasionally ketchup. I've never seen the appeal of them myself, but they've practically become a staple where I'm from.

[iwannabeadragon]

[...what's ketchup?]

At least you're not missing anything much then.

[Because that sounds awful.]

[skeletonenigma]

[Search him. It was invented after he died. He doesn't believe there are tomatoes in it at all.]

I'd like to try it once, to say that I have. [And also to shut up a certain teenager.] After that, I'd be happy never seeing them again.

[iwannabeadragon]

I once said that about Orlesian cheese. Easily the biggest mistake of my life.

[skeletonenigma]

[He laughs.] Orlesian cheese?

[iwannabeadragon]

If you don't know you're better off.