VIDEO

[unobtainableredemption]

[Kaine had been trying to wait until Peter or someone got the consoles fixed, but that didn’t seem like it was coming any time soon, and he didn’t want to wait any longer. Taking a page from some of the others, he holds up a piece of paper with the same message written in four languages: English, French, Spanish, and Japanese. His handwriting is sloppy, but he was trying his best to make it legible in every language. The only thing betraying his true feelings on the news he’s delivering is the way he tightly clutches the paper. ]

May Parker and Miles Morales have gone home.

[He holds it up for about a minute, before holding up a new page.]

Anyone with business with either one of them can take it up with me.

[He pauses for another minute, then holds up a third piece of paper.]

What’s a more secure way to talk to people?

[Another minute, then a fourth piece of paper.]

Want to talk about the shit going on. Not stupid enough to do it here.

[He holds up one final piece of paper.]

Open to suggestions.

[He puts the last piece of paper down and turns the feed off.]

Comments

[nerdylilspidey]

Deal, but only if that gives me some power upgrades.

[unobtainableredemption]

The only thing that thing gave me was an early eulogy by a man non-ironically wearing a cowboy hat calling himself the Texas Twister.

[nerdylilspidey]

[That just. That made Peter so inexplicably happy. Cowboy hat. Texas Twister.]

See, it's stuff like that where you find every joke you can make and make it.

[unobtainableredemption]

I'm not following in your footsteps of making asinine comments. I don't need the crutch.

[nerdylilspidey]

A crutch? How is it a crutch?

[unobtainableredemption]

[Shoots him a "really?" look.]

Because you're terrified every time you get into a fight and you talk to distract yourself from it.

[nerdylilspidey]

[Peter just. Stares at him for a moment.]













That's different from telling a joke.

[unobtainableredemption]

[He has some of Peter's memories, Peter. Don't you dare try to contradict him, he knows what he's talking about.]

I have better thing to do when I find myself in over my head. Mainly making sure my head stays attached to my body.

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, it's not like I'm spending a lot of time thinking about it. My mouth just... runs.

I blame the suit, personally.

[unobtainableredemption]

When you're scared.

So I stand by what I said.

[nerdylilspidey]

And talking and telling jokes are still different, so- so there.

[Yep, Peter's great at defending himself.]

[unobtainableredemption]

[Come on Peter.

Look at this look he's giving you.]

[nerdylilspidey]

[But Peter's got these puppy eyes. Just look at these big brown puppy eyes.]

[unobtainableredemption]

Don't look at me like that.

[nerdylilspidey]

Like what?

[unobtainableredemption]

Like a wet dog that I just hit with my bike.

[nerdylilspidey]

[He actually cracks a little smile at that.]

That's just my face. I'm a figure of tragedy.

[unobtainableredemption]

Don't flatter yourself.

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, I'm not a character from Shakespeare, but I totally come close.

[unobtainableredemption]

[Smirks.] If anyone's from a character out of a Shakespeare tragedy, kid, it's me. So quit your whining.

[nerdylilspidey]

You do realize that now I'm gonna insist that you quote a line a day, right?

[unobtainableredemption]

You're the nerd, remember?

[nerdylilspidey]

Not where Shakespeare's involved.

[unobtainableredemption]

You do realize that when I wasn't busy hounding Reilly or killing people I also didn't stop for Shaekspeare in the Park, right?

[nerdylilspidey]

You know, I've always heard good things about Shakespeare in the Park.