oo1 / radio;

[insertdadjoke]

[ The line opens to dead air for a good ten seconds or so before there's a sigh, more amused than anything, and the soft sound of civilization around. Cain has made his way to the Welcome Center after being tossed down in an unfamiliar area of the Turtle and is just letting it all sink in for now. ]

So, what have I missed?

By which I mean: hello, Keeliai. This is Jacob Kane speaking. I was here once before, but apparently that was a while back. Can anyone fill me in or otherwise point me in the direction of someone who can? Losing so much time out of the blue like this isn't exactly the best way to get a welcome home, but somehow I doubt anyone's established a complaints department in my absence.

Comments

[skeletonenigma]

[Skulduggery follows suit. It's strange, all these little things; he's never benefited from making himself comfortable before.]

Not really. Every now and then a new type of food comes along people go out of their way to recommend, or something new gets invented - like showers. But otherwise, no. I can still drive a car. I can still talk. I can still go to the cinema. I can still wear fine clothes.

[He pauses.]

I could, I mean. I could still do all of those things.

[insertdadjoke]

[ Which is all well and good for a skeleton, but trying to stay standing however you want in the same position when you have skin just looks awkward. ]

Mm, showers. [ He grins indulgently. That was a good invention. He appreciates that one. ]

So... what, being a skeleton didn't inhibit your daily life at all? Or you were just so used to it by the time any new curiosities came around?

[skeletonenigma]

We were in the middle of a war. At the time, we were lucky I was conscious at all, and not needing to sleep or eat weren't really considered inhibitions with time and supplies running out. By the time the war was over, I barely remembered being alive.

[So much of being a skeleton came down to convenience. Magic was easier to use. Thoughts and conclusions came faster. Fighting was unimpaired. The only problem Skulduggery had was disguising himself from the general public, and even that was easier than it sounded. No one questioned the quirks of strangers.]

[insertdadjoke]

Right, a war. How long was that war?

[ Not that it was impossible for a human-length war to drive some men to such extremes, but somehow Cain imagined men with longer lifespans had longer to fight and longer lives to look forward to once they had their way. It changed a lot of things that he was no longer quite so ready to take for granted. Damn these alternate universes, forcing him to be flexible at nearly twenty-eight hundred. ]

Or... I remember something about a war. When we were dreaming?

[skeletonenigma]

Nearly three hundred years.

[No one kept track. And even if someone had, they would have argued over what precisely started the war (which Skulduggery could have told them, since he was there), and what precisely ended the war. It wasn't the treaty, in Skulduggery's opinion. It wasn't even Mevolent's death, or Vengeous's arrest.]

You know, I'd forgotten about that. I didn't think you were cognizant enough to remember any of it.

[insertdadjoke]

[ Cain pauses, eyes drifting down to Skulduggery's clock. He remembers what it was before this whole thing happened. Chances are, there hadn't been that large of a reprieve between the end of the war and now. Relatively speaking, of course. ]

Guess we should all be glad regular wars don't last that long. Not like that, anyway.

[ At the mention of cognizance, Cain ducks his head and shakes it. ]

Not at the time. I was definitely out of it. But Abel... wait, that's right. You met Abel, too. [ He glances up to Skulduggery, considering. ] You're the only one who's met anything like my brother at all here.

[ That terrible version of Abel in the fight against Malicant only half counts. What Skulduggery saw was the most honest representation of his brother that he could muster. ]

[skeletonenigma]

Very probably. Personally, I choose not to be glad until we've put an end to war entirely, but I've always been an incurable optimist.

[If by 'incurable optimist' you mean 'brutal and pessimistic pragmatist'.]

Should I be flattered?

[insertdadjoke]

Something tells me you're not just in the cleanup phase here. Long ways to go yet?

[ Cain knows the type. He isn't above poking them every now and then. ]

Well, probably. It means you have the leg-up on anyone else here when it comes to insight, and you seem like the kind of guy who'd appreciate that.

[ He doesn't mention that Raine probably rivals Skul for this familiarity. They're different things, and it's more some kind of sideways teasing than an actual meaning to encourage deep, thoughtful conversation. ]

[skeletonenigma]

In a manner of speaking. The war you saw ended about a century ago. A new one started just last year. It's theoretically ended now, but since it was built on lies and misdirection to begin with, I very much doubt we've seen the last of it.

[... We've. Technically, Skulduggery has seen the last of it. No matter what happens in Keeliai, he isn't going back home.]

I do appreciate relevant insight. I'd appreciate, for example, a little more insight into how your brother's managed to survive the years if popular mythology says you killed him.

[insertdadjoke]

A century without war is pretty impressive.

[ It sounds depressing like that, but overall it's a rather big accomplishment. Perhaps not as much when considering the relative lifespan of those engaging in the war, making something similar to the gaps between mortal wars, but he'll compliment it all the same.

At the comment, Cain tilts his head. There's a moment where he thinks Skulduggery has figured out actual identity hiding behind the facade — but then he remembers. The facade. Of course. Thankfully the confusion lends to itself and he answers rather simply, like it should be obvious. ]

I did kill him. He's a ghost, or something close enough to count for the sake of cross-dimensional understanding.

[skeletonenigma]

Ah.

[Too simple. Much too simple. Skulduggery might have chalked that up to his own personal lifetime experience bias, but Cain's lived for thousands of years. Nothing's ever that simple when you've lived for thousands of years.

The problem is that Skulduggery hasn't lived for thousands of years, and he already has the disadvantage of lesser brain functioning. If there is something more there, he can't see it.]

How accurate is popular mythology?

[i.e., Did you kill your brother because God told you to, Cain?]

[insertdadjoke]

[ Cain pauses, then allows a shrug while he shakes his head. ]

They hit the highlights, although there's less mysticism in it than they'd have you believe.

[ It's all the truth. Whether speaking about the original Cain killing his brother in a fit of jealous rage and being cursed to wander the land while staying safe from attempts at retribution, or that Remus and Romulus were suckled by wolves and their lives preserved by divine providence, what actually matters is the end result of the actions they took. Not how or why. ]

If you're asking about the existence of higher beings in control of our lives, then I'm afraid I'll have to plead the fifth on that one.

[skeletonenigma]

Because you don't know, or because you'd rather not talk about it?

[It's a joke. Partly. In theory, Skulduggery couldn't care less about the existence of higher beings. He had enough to contend with battling the insane worshippers of the Faceless Ones. In practice, however, he'd spent a good chunk of his life trying not to think about the fact that no one knew what brought him back from the dead, which makes him a little more curious than he likes to admit.]

[insertdadjoke]

Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

[ He knows some things, but nothing concrete. More than the average person, certainly, and much more than anyone alive probably knows. Yet that does not mean he knows very much. ]