video;

[upshore]

[There's a man in his late 20s on the screen, and he looks tired. Not like he hasn't been sleeping well - though that, too - but like 'tired' is just generally a state of being for him. His hands are out of frame. He's going to keep it that way.]

Not to diss Raine and Heather, without whom I would be dead, and I am very grateful for their help, I've got a question. Out of curiosity, are there any doctors here? Gonna be clear here - I don’t mean maniacs with rusty shears, I don’t mean someone with a penchant for making people into unwilling human guinea pigs for whatever the fuck, I don’t mean Dr. Strangelove’s crazier Nazi cousin who’s trying to turn mental patients into batteries for nanomachines with more tubes in them than that one senator guy called the internet.

‘Cause before I let anyone come near me with so much as a stethoscope in future, I’m going to need to see some medical credentials.

[A pause, and then:]

Also, if anyone comes at me dressed as a priest, this is the only warning you’ll get that I am going to set you on fucking fire. It worked on the last guy.

Comments

[no_light]

[ Somebody needs to be burned with fire and that somebody is you, Miles Upshur. ]

You don't know a kriffing thing about my family except for gossip and my name is not Jacen! I'm not even from the same universe as Jacen! [ Pah!

He's so done with you. So done. Now if only you were right here to be Force choked. Or lightsabered. He's killed people for less than this. ]

And what kind of moof milking idiot gets his historical information from movies?

[upshore]

[Come at him, scrublord, he's ripped!]

It's not historical information, because you don't exi--

...so you're not Jacen, but you know about him and you mentioned alternate universes.

[Beat.]

Yep. In my world the only thing you exist in is movies. Hence. The movies. "A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away."

This is greeeeat. It's fine. Everything's fine.

[no_light]

I know of Jacen because I met his father. The Han Solo from his universe was here and told me of his children. [His siblings. No need to point that out if Miles can't make the connection.]

But my life is no movie. Are you drunk? I'm pretty sure you must be drunk, or just plain insane. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter.

[upshore]

[Miles grins a little recklessly.]

I wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter, either. But I'm right about this one.