tushanshu | video;

[After getting the lowdown from a rather nice lady, a very annoyed-looking young woman is staring balefully at the camera.]

Are you serious.

Are you serious.

Because people keep explaining this Life-Death-Dreaming thing to me and it sounds like bullshit. There are two planes I can be on and I’m apparently not on either of them and that is so much bullshit I have apparently been dropped into the former pasture of a hekatomb of oxen because what the hell.

Look. Look at this. [She holds up her journal with a helpful diagram of a stick figure, a vertical line, and another stick figure, and a double-sided arrow.] My soul can be Waking, or it can be Otherside, or it can occasionally be both at the same time because my life is a dumpster fire. Not this, okay? [She puts the journal down, raises her hand, and taps the labradorite ring she’s wearing.] My soul is not in a rock. Even if it’s a really pretty rock, and I know from pretty rocks.

[Frustratedly:] Like, oh my gods. Every single god I have ever met. All of them. Up to and including Inari-Ōkami. For the love of baby Jesus in his mangery crib. Put me back. I want to speak to the manager. Yeah. The spell manager.

Fix this, Obama.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Blink. ]

I'm sorry?

You don't like Starbucks or chocolate. [She squints.] Are you okay? Do you need help?

I'm also not American? I'm British. And have spent the last few years in Paris.

Look, my dad's British, and even he likes those things. No excuses.

Well, he's become Americanized. I've become more French than British.

[Grump. You take that back! Her dad's just not a stuffy Brit. He even lives in London!]

Okay, but what about French toast?

Not actually French. But the French do it better, usually using fresh homemade bread.

Nah, it's super French. Just like freedom fries. [And noooow she's teasing you.]

Also, local bread situation: Fluffy or flat? Or both? Because I love some crunchy baguette, but I om nom nom on some naan.

Both, depending on supplies. You want some hearty homemade bread? Try the shelter. Someone there makes it a lot. Naan? There's a flat bread around here that's pretty comparable.

Nice. At least I'm not totally bereft.

Although I guess nobody here is about to take witty quips as currency. There some kind of jobs board around here?

You should stop by the Welcome center. I believe they offer a few juulan to new arrivals.

No such thing as a free lunch.

Well, you're expected to pay it back, eventually.

Mmhmm. See what I mean?

Aside from that, I gotta find the local Craigslist. Where's the local internet cafe?

[Look, they're rare in the US, but she's used them overseas.]

Darling, I think you're overestimating this place. There's no Craigslist, no internet cafe. Go to the Welcome center, there should be jobs posted there.

[Aly takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and rubs at her temples.]

No. This can't be happening.

Well, it is. And you're on what is considered the 'internet' here.

There's no Snapchat?!

[Priorities, Aly.]

Darling, there aren't even, really cellphones.

Yeah. Of course not. Why would there be.

This place is so technologically impaired I might as well be home. [Not on Earth - in her sensei's domain. Big ol' forests don't exactly have Apple Stores.]

If Home is so technologically impaired, how do you know about technology?

There's home and there's home. I'm talking about the latter.

[Stealth Casino Royale reference!]

[ Ah, the difference between wherever she's staying, and England. She gets the point. ]

I understand. Any other questions?

Nah, I think I've got it for now.

[It may seem rude, but she's not going to thank her. Who knows, she might owe the woman something later if she does.]

Good lookin' out, though. Apprece'd.

Anytime, darling. Oh, and whenever you find yourself in need of a job? The Shaded Lantern is always looking for extra help.

Video

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