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[wolfishflame]

[After getting the lowdown from a rather nice lady, a very annoyed-looking young woman is staring balefully at the camera.]

Are you serious.

Are you serious.

Because people keep explaining this Life-Death-Dreaming thing to me and it sounds like bullshit. There are two planes I can be on and I’m apparently not on either of them and that is so much bullshit I have apparently been dropped into the former pasture of a hekatomb of oxen because what the hell.

Look. Look at this. [She holds up her journal with a helpful diagram of a stick figure, a vertical line, and another stick figure, and a double-sided arrow.] My soul can be Waking, or it can be Otherside, or it can occasionally be both at the same time because my life is a dumpster fire. Not this, okay? [She puts the journal down, raises her hand, and taps the labradorite ring she’s wearing.] My soul is not in a rock. Even if it’s a really pretty rock, and I know from pretty rocks.

[Frustratedly:] Like, oh my gods. Every single god I have ever met. All of them. Up to and including Inari-Ōkami. For the love of baby Jesus in his mangery crib. Put me back. I want to speak to the manager. Yeah. The spell manager.

Fix this, Obama.

Comments

[no_light]

[ Okay. This... is new.

He's too dumbfounded even to get angry, and just blinks at the shrieking woman. ]

You are insane.

[wolfishflame]

[Well, not the first time she's gotten that reaction.]

Seriously, Kyle? That you, man?

[no_light]

I'm Kylo Ren. [He hesitates. Add his title? It hasn't impressed anyone on the turtle but... might as well.] Master of the Knights of Ren. And who are you? You need to learn respect.

[wolfishflame]

[Oh, this is going to be fun. If he's going to give titles, she may as well give some of her own. She rolls her shoulders, smiles, and makes her voice serious.]

I am Keahi, the Wild Flame, She Who Walks With Wolves, Beloved of the Bloodied Leaves, The Living Beyond Death.

Perhaps you need to learn to respect me, Kyle.

[no_light]

[....aaaaand...

Brain freeze.

He looks at her, dumbfounded. He's run into nobles before, and been respectful, but this one is rude to him. He doesn't want to be respectful.]

No!

[Because it's that easy, right?]

she's gonna add to those titles when she gets canon updated AND THEY WILL NOT BE HAPPY TITLES

[wolfishflame]

[Oh, that reaction. That is a delicious reaction. She savors it like it's - well, not a fine wine, wine is gross, but a piece of particularly good chocolate. The kind with hazelnuts in it. Or delicious Toblerone.

Dammit, now she wants Toblerone.]

Your funeral, Kyle.