tushanshu | [video]

So I've been here almost a year and I'm wondering if the Emperor hands out anniversary souvenirs. [Something in his heart twists when he says 'souvenirs,' but it doesn't show. He misses Wally more than he can say.] Like maybe "I was ripped from my reality and put on the back of a magical turtle to fight mystic evil and all I got was this stupid t-shirt." Or a mug that says "#1 captive."

[He's trying to pass it off as light joking, but people who know him well can tell there's a tinge of bitterness in there.]

[But ignore that because here comes the mock-drama!]

Anyway, that's not why I'm talking to you all today. After almost a year, I've finally done it.

[He holds up a pair of chopsticks holding what seems to be some nice, gooey homemade mac 'n' cheese.]

Yes. I've successfully made mac 'n' cheese. More or less. A moment of silence for all of the noodles that sacrificed their delicious taste to my formerly-awful cooking.

[Dick pauses for a moment before popping the mac 'n' cheese in his mouth. But at least he has the manners to swallow before talking.]

So I'm ready for a new challenge. What are your favorite foods? I know most 21st century Earth food, but you might want to describe anything else. Oh, and I'll need a few metaphorical guinea pigs to help me taste-test.

[He specifies because there are some people who are of a prankster nature.]

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Why do I imagine blown up kitchens? [She's not sure if he's honestly joking, or just covering up pain, as she's seen a surprising amount of people who are good at hiding things. But she won't press, not on a kid she barely knows.] Don't suppose you know anything about Corcian oysters?

Because you believe in stereotypes about boys not being able to cook. Or I look like a mad scientist.

[He's joking. He only set something on fire once, gosh!]

Oysters, yes. Corcian oysters, no.

It definitely sounded like a challenge for you, that's all I'm saying. [And she's met some damn fine chefs in the League.] I had a feeling. They're Thanagarian.

[So if you knew about them, that's a little bit of a miracle.]

Other people have cooked for me all my life, so there was definitely a steep learning curve. I can make kedanese food without too much trouble now; adapting ingredients to make food from home's harder.

Ah, that'd explain it. I'm not an expert on non-Earth food.

[She almost thinks of him as spoiled, but then again. He's just a kid, so it's understandable he hasn't really cooked before.] Well, I'd say you're not off to a bad start. The mac n' cheese at least looks edible.

Not many people here are, I imagine.

[Oh, he's spoiled rotten, Shayera.]

If you want some, I have plenty. Not sure I quite trust myself with seafood yet, but I could try to whip up something else, if you want.

[When she finds out who's son he is, then she'll think that.] Sure, I'll be one of your guinea pigs. [SHE TAKES RISKS.] Where should I go for the taste testing?

WO-3A. I'll be in for the next few hours.

All right. Just give me a few minutes. [And about five minutes later, someone's knocking at your door, Dick!]

[He opens the door to his suite-turned-culinary-mad-science-lab.]

That was fast. Come on in.

[He steps back, giving her room to come in.]

Welcome to the mad culinary kitchen.

I'm no Flash with these wings, but I'm still plenty fast. [She enters and enters the kitchen. Looking around, it's not as messy as she expected.] Nope. It's not a mad culinary kitchen unless it looks like something blew up. Twice.

I'm jealous-- I always wished I could fly when I was younger.

[Now? He's fine with not having superpowers or wings or any of that.]

That's just because I cleaned up the last mess. Don't tell, but there's still cheese stuck to the ceiling.

And now? [He did use past tense.

But that gets an eyebrow raise (with a little smile).] I hope you're not going to ask me to do it.

Of course not! Certificate or not, I'm still a gentleman.

Speaking of which, make yourself comfortable. I'll bring you a plate.

[See? He knows manners.]

Maybe you need to make a copy of it. Hang it up on your wall. [And Shayera knows how to be a shit.]

Thanks. [While she waits, her gaze wanders around the kitchen. She's not giving it a critical look, just glancing around it.]

I'll get right on that. [He hands her a plate and chopsticks. All of his forks are dirty okay?]

[He leans against the counter, awaiting her verdict.]

Make it a priority. [Hey, she's not judging. You know how many times she's eaten Chinese takeout with John? She's a pro with chopsticks. Carefully balancing the cheesy meal, Shayera eats slowly to prevent any spontaneous spit outs of the meal. An expression between surprise and pleasure comes across her face as she takes a few more bites.] Not bad.

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action whoops

right that's been a thing

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