[video]

[hackingyoursensors]

So I've been here almost a year and I'm wondering if the Emperor hands out anniversary souvenirs. [Something in his heart twists when he says 'souvenirs,' but it doesn't show. He misses Wally more than he can say.] Like maybe "I was ripped from my reality and put on the back of a magical turtle to fight mystic evil and all I got was this stupid t-shirt." Or a mug that says "#1 captive."

[He's trying to pass it off as light joking, but people who know him well can tell there's a tinge of bitterness in there.]

[But ignore that because here comes the mock-drama!]

Anyway, that's not why I'm talking to you all today. After almost a year, I've finally done it.

[He holds up a pair of chopsticks holding what seems to be some nice, gooey homemade mac 'n' cheese.]

Yes. I've successfully made mac 'n' cheese. More or less. A moment of silence for all of the noodles that sacrificed their delicious taste to my formerly-awful cooking.

[Dick pauses for a moment before popping the mac 'n' cheese in his mouth. But at least he has the manners to swallow before talking.]

So I'm ready for a new challenge. What are your favorite foods? I know most 21st century Earth food, but you might want to describe anything else. Oh, and I'll need a few metaphorical guinea pigs to help me taste-test.

[He specifies because there are some people who are of a prankster nature.]

Comments

--> action

[cowled]

[And Bruce is just. Here. Suddenly. How do you feel about that, Dick? Because it's a thing.]

action

[hackingyoursensors]

[He's way too used to it.

It takes him a moment to feel the displacement of air and see the way the shadows in his room change slightly.]

I could've brought some to you, you know.

[Though he suspects this isn't about the food.]

action

[cowled]

Hn.

[The windows are closed, drapes drawn, and there aren't any listening devices that Bruce hasn't put there himself, so after a moment he reaches up to pull the cowl off entirely rather than just pushing it back like normal. Silently, he takes a place at the table.

It isn't about the food, but if it's something Dick's proud of making, he'll eat some anyway.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[Dick sets about making up a plate for Bruce. Which is weird, honestly. Like a reversal of their roles as father and son.]

[But Bruce is actually willing to try some, which is gratifying in and of itself. So he places a bowl and a set of chopsticks down in front of Bruce]

Bon appetit.

[Yes, he's leaving it up to Bruce to broach whatever subject he came here to talk about. Because Dick knows this isn't about food.]

[cowled]

[It's never about food, but Bruce eats anyway. Chopsticks with mac'n'cheese, son are you forreal? But he removes his gauntlets and sets them beside his plate to eat bare-handed. Manual dexterity is somewhat hampered by kevlar weave, believe it or not.

He eats in silence for a time. Then,]

How are you?

[hackingyoursensors]

[Dick opts not to stare awkwardly in the meantime and gets Bruce a drink.

Ah, he should've seen this coming.]

Fine. [Yeah that answer won't fly so:] A little homesick.

[cowled]

[WITH THE CHOPSTICKS, DICK, he's not eating with his hands wow bad phrasing there self.]

I'm... sorry. To hear that.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Come on you would totally stare if you saw the Dark Knight eating mac 'n' cheese with chopsticks.]

[He shrugs.]

There's not much anyone can do about it.

[cowled]

[COUNT THE WAYS IN WHICH IT GUTS HIM TO HEAR HIS TINY LITTLE BIRD SOUNDING SO FUCKING CYNICAL. Dick was always the bright one, and now--

How much of this is Bruce's own fault? Too much.]

If there is-- [these words are hard to force out, wow. being a decent human being takes effort, who knew!] -- anything I can do. To help. Let me know.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Count the ways in which this place has gutted Dick. That's why he's become so cynical.]

[He smiles, almost like an apology]

I will.

[That Bruce went out of his way to check up on Dick meant a lot on its own. But one does not just accuse the Batman of having feelings.]

[cowled]

[... is the moment over can he stop inwardly grimacing? Is it? Yes. It appears to be. Good. MATTER CLOSED. Sorry, son, he's not emotionally developed enough yet to offer to play basketball.]

I also wanted to speak with you about your older duplicate.

[HE'S BACK TO BUSINESS NOW he sounds so much more sure of himself.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[Dick has learned to go easy on this Bruce. Baby steps.]

What about him?

[cowled]

You've spoken.

[Not a question. Sorry, Dick, he's a stalker. ... that is awkwardly trying to encourage more conversation...?]

[hackingyoursensors]

[Bruce is a stalker and the sky is blue.]

Yeah. Are you going to make a joke about an echo-chamber?

[He doesn't know what Bruce is getting at.]

[cowled]

No.

[That's too much like a joke and guess who doesn't do jokes. This dude.]

I wanted to ascertain whether or not you were... comfortable with his presence.

[hackingyoursensors]

[That's not what Dick was expecting and it shows.]

It's beyond weird but... we get along. I mean, it'd be a little sad if we didn't.

[cowled]

I'm not surprised you do. Most versions of you are... agreeable.

[Though he's met a few that aren't, and Bruce frowns slightly and turns away.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[He notices the change in Bruce's body language. Part of him is curious, but part of him doesn't want to know. Dick has had time to think of all the ways he could've turned out differently. Less... Robin-like.]

It looks like I lucked out, then.

[He hesitates.]

Is it-- are you two doing alright?

[cowled]

[He wants to snap at him, but he doesn't. He draws a breath, holds it. Counts the beats of his heart and slows them on instinct. Then,]

We're adequate, for the time being.

[hackingyoursensors]

[The thought that he and Bruce might not get along in the future makes Dick feel sad and a little lonely. He knows there's a lot of history, just not exactly what happened to change everything. Was it when he quit being Robin? Did it hurt Bruce that much?

For a brief moment, Dick entertains the idea of asking Bruce what changed. But the look on his face suggests that it's not a good idea.]

Adequate's good.

[cowled]

[He sees the question, and he purses his lips. He's kept Dick in the dark enough, hasn't he? It occurs to him just how little the boy knows. About everything. The future - possible futures - and about Bruce himself. And how much that seems to hurt him.

It's impossible not to have noticed that Dick has a far superior relationship with his version of Bruce. Who adopted him younger, and when he was nearly the age Bruce is now. He wonders if it was the extra time he would have spent growing up that did it, made him a better father. But he always has been proud.

He grits his teeth just slightly. One single word, and it's like pulling teeth to say.]

Ask.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Dick hesitates. He looks down at his hands while considering how to ask what he really wants to know.]

Are you mad because he quit?

[cowled]

No.

[There was anger there, at first. But he and Dick had lost their rapport long before Bruce fired him, and he later quit. The role of Robin isn't... meant to be something someone carries forever. It doesn't last. Nothing gold--]

Dick and I had our differences long before then. It was... necessary. For both of us. He'd done all the growing he could as Robin, it was time to become his own man. So he did. I've always been proud of that.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Dick smiles slightly, but it fades quickly.]

Were your differences really that big? I mean, it's not like I never argue, but... [Bruce tended to listen to him, even if he was eventually overruled.]

I always thought that when I was done being Robin, I'd be Batman.

[It just seemed natural to him. Why else would Bruce keep training him if he didn't want a successor? But maybe he's wrong. This Bruce seemed opposed to him being Robin, much less Batman.]

[cowled]

[That admission actually makes his expression twist, sharp and visceral, and he can't respond right away.]

Dick--

[He frowns.]

You've always been better than Batman.