001; video;

[nowthatsfunny]

[The woman on screen is clearly rough around the edges - her clothes are torn and stained with dirt and blood, she's got a couple of old cuts on her face. She also probably hasn't bathed in a few days.

She looks thoughtful as she squints into the screen, maybe even a little disconcerted.]

I don't know what I was expecting, but this? Definitely wasn't it. [A little light on both pearly gates and fire and brimstone, honestly. She won't say that out loud, though, it sounds trite even for her.]

So what's the catch? And do these computers have solitaire on them?

Comments

[hasthreefingers]

No solitaire, but you can go through people's old messages, find ones that are really old, and then play tricks on them to make them think they know you already. Or that you're psychic.

I mean, I haven't tried, but it actually sounds like a fun idea now. I'll have to find someone to do that with.

[nowthatsfunny]

That's one way to pass the time, I guess. [You are a very strange person! Still, Tess might be filing that away for future reference. Always good to know who you're dealing with, after all.]

[hasthreefingers]

Jobs work, too. They aren't as much fun, but it helps to have money before you, you know, run out and can't buy things anymore.

Unless you want to rob people or something. Like a highwaymen. In which case, since I had the idea, I hope that means I'm going to be safe.

[nowthatsfunny]

I'd hate to cause a fuss in this nice little city by doing something as terrible as highway robbery.

[She's definitely held people up before, but isn't planning to do it here. She shouldn't need to here. But Donna can decide for herself whether Tess is joking or not.]

[hasthreefingers]

[ Ha ha ha no not at all jokes are fun! ]

Oi! Careful there, they might write songs about you if you do! Wouldn't want to be immortalized with a rhyme scheme and a beat!

[nowthatsfunny]

I don't know - who wouldn't want to be immortalized in song?

[She's still smiling, but maybe there's a hint of something darker when she continues:]

It's better than being forgotten.

[hasthreefingers]

[ Donna holds up a finger. ]

I think that might depend on the kind of song. Are we talking dubstep? Disco? Or something good?

I wouldn't want people to remember me because of a dubstep song.

[nowthatsfunny]

[It takes Tess a moment to drag that term from the dusty halls of her memory. Dubstep?

Oh, shit. DUBSTEP.

When it comes to her, she laughs suddenly and loudly. Because oh god, fucking dubstep!]

Jesus Christ, I'd forgotten all about that.

[hasthreefingers]

I'd've let you keep forgetting it, but you know how misery is.

After all, it's no fun suffering alone.

[nowthatsfunny]

[Her laughter is still genuine, but it might take on a hint of sadness at Donna's last statement.]

On that, we can definitely agree.

[hasthreefingers]

[ Donna can hear the sadness, even if she isn't exactly certain why it's there. She sobers, but her smile stays in place. ]

So tell us about yourself. What kind of work do you think you might want?

[nowthatsfunny]

Hm. [Work. Like an actual job? Something she might not have to make up as she goes along? What a novel idea.

Of course, she's not sure what kinds of marketable skills she actually has for a place like this.]

I'm sure I'll find something. I was kind of an entrepreneur back home.

[hasthreefingers]

[ Donna smiles, impressed. ]

Are you? That's excellent! Well, two of the biggest businessmen here are Tony Stark - that's my boss [ Yeah, she's happy about that. Her boss is pretty great, despite his increasing number of quirks. But the pay is amazing. ] - and Bruce Wayne. If you want start-up capital, they'd be good people to talk to.

What was your business?

[nowthatsfunny]

[Start-up capital? Man, this place is weird. Tess is familiar with the term, of course, but has no actual experience with that sort of thing. Her mode of doing business in a post-apocalyptic world didn't involve capital as in money. Mostly it involved making contacts, making lucrative trades, making threats and occasionally bashing heads in where necessary - in order to become the biggest, baddest smuggler in Boston.

Somehow she's not sure that would fly with the locals here, though.]

I was a supplier. Of goods.

[hasthreefingers]

Oh! Well... Maybe-

[ Donna thinks about it, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head as she dismisses ideas. ]

I'm not sure, actually. But. I can tell you that if and when you find a niche, I'm sure Tony Stark would be able to help. Or Bruce Wayne. But I prefer Tony Stark. He's brilliant.

[ She smiles as sheepishly as she knows how. ] And my boss.

[ Tony Stark is West Ham. Bruce Wayne is Chelsea. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE, TESS. ]

[nowthatsfunny]

Tch. You shouldn't play favorites if you want to get ahead.

[She smiles faintly, though - she's just teasing, really, though of course if she ever gets to that point she, herself, will not play favorites at all. She'll do business with anyone and everyone able and willing to pay. Because that is how you get ahead.]

[hasthreefingers]

Yeah, but if I favor one of them over the other, I might get a raise.

[ Logic, brought to you by Donna Noble. ]

[nowthatsfunny]

[It is so weird to wrap her head around the idea of having a job with a salary that someone else controls and that you could get a raise. Tess remembers such a thing, but it hasn't been part of her reality for a long, long time.]

Sounds like you've got a pretty cushy position.

[hasthreefingers]

Well. I've gone from super-temp to super-secretary. I guess pushing paper is my main strength. And if it takes me to a chair that swivels, I guess I just have to go.

[nowthatsfunny]

Nothing wrong with a swivel chair.

[Frankly, Tess would've traded that kind of job for her life in Boston - well, maybe, she thinks. She probably would've gotten bored with it, but at least it was better than dodging infected all the fucking time.]

[hasthreefingers]

Right? I'm trying to figure out if it's inappropriate to challenge the boss to a swivel chair race.

[nowthatsfunny]

Probably depends on the boss. But if you like him so much, he must not be a hardass, right?

[hasthreefingers]

Nope! Softest ass in the biz!

[ Donna pauses. She just heard how that sounded, and it sounded not good. She clears her throat. ]

I mean, he's not a hardass, no.

[nowthatsfunny]

[Tess laughs. And laughs. And laughs a little more.]

Hey, far be it for me to judge you for paying attention to his ass.

[hasthreefingers]

If we're going to judge them like we're at the Olympics, though, we have to leave his ass out of it until it's a perfect score. He wouldn't settle for anything less.

[ How did they end up talking about this?

Oh. Right. She'd brought it up. ]