[Console] Video;

[lasergrenades]

[When the screen comes on there is a face just a little too close to the camera; it’s got freckles and red hair. The figure scoots back a bit, and a young woman in her late teens appears, grinning nervously.]

Uh, hiiii. I’m Pepper. Pepper Potts. I come from a city called New York which some of you have probably heard of and if you haven’t you should because its awesome. Or, it was awesome before a bunch of aliens came and tried to destroy the planet, which they might still do, I got here before we blew up the ship when I got teleported, so it might not be so awesome when you go visit. [She pauses, catching herself.] Er. If, I guess. Sorry, I talk a lot when I’m nervous, apparently, that’s what everyone always tells me. Actually they say I talk too much all the time, not just when I'm nervous. Especially Tony and Rhodey and Gene. Oh! Yeah, I'm from the same place as Tony and Gene. Well, not exactly, we came here from different places, or something, which I don't really understand yet.

[She takes a deep breath and tries to slow down the torrent of words.] Anyway. I hear there’s some big bad running around and since I’m kind of used to fighting supervillains I’m totally there if you need someone to help with butt-kicking. Probably.

[Pepper sags a little bit.]

I could use some help figuring out what to do here. I’m supposed to get a job and all I ever wanted to be is a SHIELD agent. I could help...organize...things? Unless someone needs a personal shopper, in which case I am so there.

Comments

[irishthor]

Personal shopper?

[Indulge the 18th century man, Pepper.]

[lasergrenades]

Yeah! It's someone to help you decide what to buy, usually clothes. Some celebrities use them to just buy everything for them so they don't have to go out themselves.

[Pepper gives the man a quick overview. He could probably use some style tips.]

Do you want one?

[irishthor]

[THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIS STYLE]

Well, far be it for me to rely on someone else for something that's easily obtainable. [He frowns. These 'celebrities' must be some lazy people, or shut-ins.] And I'm not really in the market for clothes right now.

[lasergrenades]

[But he would look so dashing in a well-tailored suit! Not that the rugged theme doesn't work well, too.]

Well, it's not so easy when you get mobbed by paparazzi and adoring fans or stalkers every time you step outside your door. [Pepper looks a little disappointed that he doesn't need her to shop for him.] I guess that's not really a problem, here, huh?

[irishthor]

I'll be honest with you, I barely understood half of what you just said, so I can't really comment.

[lasergrenades]

Oh. Um. Well, celebrities are really famous people, usually they acted in a movie or a TV show or something, and the rest of us are fans, because we don't get to act, or at least not act in anything that comes out of Hollywood, which is where most of the movies get made. Some fans get really obsessed and do anything they can to see those people in real life, and if they go overboard then they become stalkers, which is really creepy. And the paparazzi are people who take pictures of celebrities all the time and never leave them alone.

Does that make sense?

[Probably not, Pepper.]

[irishthor]

I got the word "act," but I think the rest of what you said isn't around in the 1700's.

[lasergrenades]

Oh. Ooooh.

[That explains a lot. Pepper realizes basically everything she talks about would be alien to this man.]

Well, I could try to explain it, uh, better. But it'd probably take a while. You probably don't want to spend all day listening to me explain 20th-century entertainment.

[She's finally pinpointed his accent as Irish, and she'd much rather let him do the talking right now.]

What's your name, Sir 18th-century?

[irishthor]

From what I've heard, no offense, but it doesn't sound entertaining.

[He means it, it just... doesn't sound for him]

Shay Cormac. A pleasure.

[lasergrenades]

Yeah, most of it is junk anyway.

[He seems to have a lot better manners than a lot of the men/boys/males of questionable age she's met.]

Nice to meet you, Shay. So, what counts for entertainment in the 1700s? Are there a lot of sword fights? Oh, did you live during the American Revolution?

[irishthor]

Revolution?

[Five years too soon, Pepper.]

I don't recall a revolution, though a lot of people are outspoken against the war with France. Last I heard, we were still at war with them.

[lasergrenades]

Uh, guess that's a no, then.

[Pepper had been told that no one remembered their time on the turtle, so it probably wouldn't matter if she tells Shay that particular bit of history.]

Well, being at war with France is kind of like Great Britain's default setting, isn't it? Which war are you talking about? There were, like, seven or eight between Britain and France before the American Revolution.

[irishthor]

[He thinks about that for a second.]

Well, since you seem to be the one with the impressive knowledge of history, Miss Potts, the last I recall it was 1760. Might you be able to shed some light on it?

[lasergrenades]

Hmm...

[Pepper thinks through the rote memory of important wars in American and European history that got drilled into them every year.]

Uh, that's gotta be the Seven Years War, but that doesn't exactly narrow much down in terms of where, since it was like a world war before we started calling them world wars. If you're from 1760, you've got about three years left on that. Sorry.

[irishthor]

[A shrug.]

The war doesn't really affect me so much, but don't spoil the ending.

[lasergrenades]

[That's a little surprising.]

I won't, if you don't want me to. How do you manage to avoid the fighting? I would have thought you'd have been recruited pretty quickly, or even pressed into naval service. You've got the 'big and strong' thing nailed.

[irishthor]

I... perform other duties.

[Templars were usually exempt from draft, it seems.]

My ship and I are better suited to the war effort elsewhere.

[lasergrenades]

Such aaaaaaaaaaaas?

[Danger, Shay Cormac Will Robinson. She's never going to let you get away with that.]

Where? The British Navy was like a giant ego all on its own. It must have been kicking and screaming all the way to let a ship go.

[irishthor]

Sorry, Miss, but unless your name suddenly changes to King George, I can't tell you.

[lasergrenades]

Oh, come on! [Her voice has settled into a wheedling tone.] Who am I going to tell that it matters to? Last I checked the French haven't set up camp in Keeliai.

Plus, you're from almost three hundred years in my past. I probably already know the result of whatever you did. Do. Will do.

[She gives him a winning smile.]

Please?

[irishthor]

[Folding his arms, an amused look on his face.]

Sorry, I gave me word.

[lasergrenades]

I feel like you getting transported onto a giant magical turtle in another dimension effectively negates any verbal contracts you made back home, [she reasons. Might as well give convincing him to spill the beans another try before she starts a game of twenty questions.]

I can get my name changed if I have to.

[irishthor]

Negates all verbal contracts bar one, and the most important one; My Honour.

No amount of name-changing will change that.

[lasergrenades]

[Ooh. Ooooooh. Okay, maybe that's, shall we say, attractive enough that Pepper might allow Shay to keep his activities secret.]

Well, that's a good thing to know, I really don't want to change my name to 'King George' for nothing. It's not exactly feminine.

[irishthor]

And not one that suits a pretty lass like yourself.

[Topic change? Topic change.]

I bet you got all the lads back home chasin' after ya, eh?