tushanshu | [Video]

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[What is visible of the room is obviously in Earth Sector, both from the décor and from the view out of the large, open window over Lois’ shoulder. As for Lois herself, she’s still somewhat damp and visibly grumpy about it. Her sigh is explosive as she runs a hand through her hair.]

Kidnapping, fine. Another day in my life. Alternate universes? They’re not so much my thing. I try to leave that to the heroes. Murder and mayhem are plenty for headlines.

[Lois rolls her eyes as she says the latter. Despite the few sentences, she manages to convey even more information, even subconsciously: her face and tone are expressive. Exasperation, impatience, and the voice of experience shine through. So too does her underlying concern, though. She is absently twisting some hair around a finger. Her engagement and wedding rings glint as she does.]

Lois Lane, Daily Planet, if anyone’s heard of it.

The last time I ran into an alternate world, at least it was someone’s… misguided attempt at a paradise. Nice enough place, but even that ended in a fight. One day I’d like to get a freaking vacation with one of these things.

[Pause.]

So… are there any competent newspapers around this place?

[So much for wanting a vacation.]

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Reality can be very flattering when you know the right people.

[He smiles, all charm.]

Do you remember my overseas sabbatical to clear my parents' names? [News of his death, etc, etc.] In my time, I'd only just returned to Gotham. Damian is from several weeks after that. Your boy Kent, if you happen to find him, is from eight or nine months before, I haven't bothered with the finer mathematics.

[Oh, of course he has. But it wouldn't do to announce that fact, now would it?]

Can you give me those people's numbers? I could use a good karma trade.

[She pauses, mentally translating all of that. When she has, a smile crosses her face.]

Yeah, I wouldn't have worried about finer mathematics either. That's for compulsives. [It's said fondly!] I'm glad the sabbatical works out, though. I don't know what Gotham would do without Bruce Wayne making the news.

I'll have my people call your people, how does that sound?

[Lois could probably use a vacation more than most civilians he knows, okay.

Also: 'compulsives'. Cute. His own smile turns a touch ironic.]

Oh, you know. [He makes a throwaway gesture with one hand.] I'm sure they'd find some other star-studded billionaire to make headlines. We're hardly a rare breed. I trip over at least a dozen just like me at the quarterly Wayne charity balls.

[He pauses, and his expression shifts towards 'thoughtful'.]

Admittedly, none quite so endowed of, ah, material wealth.

Just remember that vacations include my husband.

[Which would be why she never gets one.]

I'm sure all that 'material wealth' doesn't hurt your press coverage. [Her tone turns wryly sardonic.] But those are still the quarterly Wayne charity balls, not the quarterly half-a-dozen-like-Wayne charity balls.

Speaking from experience--and I know Clark will back me up on this--a reporter hates losing her favorite headline.

[Her voice stays light. Her eyes are more earnest.]

I still nurse the faint hope that you'll come to your senses about that man. My world got a little darker on the day you married him.

[The quirk to his mouth belies the falsehood to his playfully mournful tone. He may at times envy them their happiness, but there's no one in the world who deserves it more.]

Lois, my dear, have you been talking to a Miss Vicki Vale by any chance?

I'm sorry to darken it further, because not even you could have torn me from Metropolis.

[Her smile almost unconsciously says quite clearly, 'I did come to my senses about him, and I am smug.']

Not lately. She hasn't been quite so communicative since work got hard on her. But I know what it's like to lose a pet story.

[Translation: I'm really glad you're not dead, Bruce.]

Not for all my billions, alas.

[Tragedy, truly. And then he cants his head to one side, assessing her expression. Sometime, he feels as if everything functioned better without him. Dick rebuilt Gotham's crimefighting racket from the bottom up, to the point that Bruce himself felt... redundant. A relic of older things. He came back to a world that didn't need Batman so much as... Batmen.

But every once in a while it occurs to him that people might have been glad he survived on a personal scale. It hasn't yet ceased to be humbling.]

Life goes on, Ms. Lane.

It's harder to go on without some stories, especially if they're ones that kick-start a career and change.

[She's had to live through losing Clark, after all. And while Dick put Gotham back together well, he only could--only thought to--because of what he learned from Bruce. That's the sign of a mark left behind.

More, it's the sign of people looking up to him. Of course he was missed.

How the great detective could miss that logic is beyond her.]

[Bruce sort of sees himself as a piece on the Great Chessboard of Crimefighting. Ultimately replaceable.]

Is that some sentimentality I detect?

[a light jest, just to get the mood back on track.]

Speaking of. I've offered to fund Kent's little foray into local journalism. If you're interested...

[He shrugs, careless. Even here, money is hardly an object to him. At least that's the aura he's projecting.]

[Lois could throttle him for that attitude.]

Hey, don't go saying stuff like that. People will think I'm losing my edge.

[She grins. She won't bring up in public, 'And just where is that money coming from, without Wayne Enterprises?'

She's totally thinking it, though.]

What, and let him get all the glory? I wouldn't miss it for the world.

To be fair, people here aren't yet aware you even have an edge.

[It's called he's been working twelve hour days since he got here, and has started making little investments here and there that are paying off. Gosh, Lois. It's not like he's turning bad-guys upside down and shaking out their pockets.]

That said, I wouldn't expect anything less from my star investigative reporter.

[Because of course that title wouldn't go to Kent, honestly.]

That's even worse. They might never believe I have one.

[And hearing about all that work and investments won't surprise her in the least. She'll still be highly entertained, though. Heroes are adorable.]

I won't let you down, boss. [She salutes, all military precision.]

Time to prove them wrong.

[Oh he just arches an eyebrow at that salute. Speaking of adorable, Lois.]

Come on, you know better than to call me anything but Bruce.

They won't know what hit 'em.

Of course, boss.

[Congratulations, Bruce. You've replaced Perry in being teased with a title, at least in public.]

[A sight note of playful warning,]

Lois. How long have we known each other, exactly?

It wouldn't be fun if there wasn't history.

[Totally unrepentant.]

Is that all I am to you? A bit of fun?

[You wound him, Lois. Obscenely.

Sorry, Clark, he's flirting with your wife. But with Lois, at least, that's all it is.]

There's a lot of value in a bit of fun.

[Have to soothe that ego!

Sorry, Clark, she's flirting with your best friend. She'll make up for it later.]

I prefer my fun to involve centrefold models and scented body oils. Preferably both at once, secreted away in some little hideaway in the Alps. You know, the sort of place you can only reach by private helicopter?

[If everyone who knows him isn't rolling their eyes at this display, he's obviously doing it wrong.]

The right scented oils can be pretty heavenly, and the Alps are gorgeous enough. But only by private helicopter? There has to be some other way to get there, even just by flying.

[Beat.]

Someone's got to have a plane that can.

[Because planes are her first association with flight. Really.]

It would have to be a very particular plane.

[A red and blue one, for instance.]

Oh yeah. Not the sort that's easy to come by.

But hey, I'm good at tracking things down.

You don't say.

[So dry.]

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[video] frelling comics timelines >.<

[video] god do I know that pain

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