tushanshu | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

[The feed clicks on to reveal a red-headed teen with yellow eyes, who's currently peering at the device like it's going to explode.]

Okay, power button. Check. I thought this could be like that episode of The Twilight Zone where they execute people by blowing up in their rooms and that maybe someone was clever for a change and made the self-destruct button look like the on/off. But! Obviously not, because I'm still here.

I think I'm getting paranoid. It's like there's this voice in my head going -

[Bart holds two fingers up to either side of his head, so they stick up through his hair like ears.]

"Trust nothing."

[He puts his arms down, and he really drops them. They're just suddenly gone, and the camera picks up maybe two frames of the action, but even that's a little lost in a yellow flash. Bart only laughs with relief.]

Hey! Look at that, they weren't lying about that either. Now, if it would just hurry up and work all the time.

So, uh. Hi. Bart Allen. Anyone know where to find the games on this thing? I gotta pass the time until the rest of you slow down.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Whoop. Uh.]

Don't worry about it--it wasn't important.

[Bart just. Raises an eyebrow at this. He's not stupid, and that was obvious. If it was no biggie, Why not repeat it?]

Right. I'll catch you later. You saw that they put me in ME-3B, yeah?

[This conversation is not over.]

[Damn it, Bart, why can't you be oblivious like you were when they were kids?]

I saw. I'm in 2-A. Want me to come by?

[Because he's growing up. Again.]

No. I'm happening to namedrop my address even though I know you have like fifteen of these consoles grouped into a command center and you probably already saw that I told Kon where to find me because the one thing I do all the time is stutter.

Yeah, come over. It doesn't have to be now.

[That surprises a snicker out of Tim.]

You're making me miss my command center back home. A lot.

I'm really just... talking to you right now. [And stalking the network like a creeper.] I guess it's kind of ridiculous to do it like this when we're practically neighbors. I'll be right there.

[Bart just laughs and shakes his head.]

Bats. you know some of us do okay without any command center at all. Just a couple of police scanners.

[Nod.]

And I'll be right here.

And we? Have no idea how the rest of you get by like that.

[And then he signs off, because he can't exactly walk and talk here. A short time later, Bart gets a knock at the door.]

[Bart pulls open the door and picks up the conversation like it never stopped.]

Being a speedster helps, really. We don't know how you guys do it either.

[Smiling, he stands clear of the door so Tim can enter.]

Get a mental image. It'll be a mess tomorrow.

Lots of surveillance helps.

[Have a quick grin as he steps inside, and he mimes taking a picture of the neat space.] I'll try to keep this in mind the next time I come by. So I can remember where the floor is.

Stalker much?

[It's very much a teasing response. He's got nothing to hide from any of the Gothamites.]

The floor's always down, the ceiling's up. Welcome to Gravity, the ridiculously stupid reality show that's taken the turtle by storm. I'm your host, Bart Allen.

[He drops the overdone announcer voice that he's built up, quite suddenly.]

Woah, double meaning that's too on point. I was. About to ask you how you were.

[Gravity vs. gravity.]

[Just a grin and no response to the stalker comment, because... duh, of course.]

You say that like there's no possibility of up being down and vice versa. [Come on. Weirder things have happened.]

Oh? Good thing you caught yourself with a pun, first. Things could have gotten serious.

You say that like being upside down changes the meaning of up and down for everyone, and not just for you. I could be colorblind and say the sky was gray everyday, but that doesn't change the color of the sky or the definition of blue or gray. That didn't have enough snap to it.

[Bart shrugs and looks around the room for a second. He's still trying to think of a better retort for the up/down thing and is glancing down at the floor when he sees (and is thereby reminded) that he's still wearing his pajama pants. And forget even trying to hide them this time - if Kon noticed, Tim noticed. Yeah, going with the best defense is a good offense here, as if bright red needs attention called to it. Bart deliberately, obviously deliberately, brushes his hand against his thigh where the lightning bolt insignia was (subtle, what is subtle?).]

A few quick things - [Snerk] - one, they're from the museum, and the money goes to charity. Any crap you give me will result in me convincing Linda to do a 'Whatever Happened to Mr. Sarcastic' segment when I get home. Two, that wasn't an intentional pun. Three, I'm serious. I've been using you like an information booth. I am serious: how are you, how long have you been stuck here, all of that. I want to know.

And finally, Flash fact: the insignia is express permission to make all the puns that I want. It's more than that; it's a demand that I make them. So if you want to come in my house and bring a knife to a pun fight, well, better not just chirp at me, Robin. Bring it on.

[He has tried to stay serious through that. Really, he has. But Bart's clearly holding back the biggest guffaw of laughter ever.]

Edited 2013-07-11 10:56 (UTC)

[Tim holds his hands up as if to say 'who me?' and shrugs slightly before dropping them again. The very picture of innocence, and totally not trying not to laugh. At all.] I don't think I said a word about your charitably-minded pajama bottoms, did I? Very stylish, by the way, please don't mention Mr. Sarcastic to Linda.

[All casual, conversational, no big deal. He gives Bart a tiny smile.]

You know I don't mind being an information booth, right? It's always nice to be needed. And I'm... okay. It can get a little... [he holds up a hand and shifts it from side to side in a 'so-so' gesture] around here sometimes, but I think I'm managing. And I got here... Hm. Almost eight months?

[Bart is only managing to not laugh on a extremely debatable technicality, because he's laughing so hard that its completely silent. He's grinning and ducking his head to the side, before turning the rest of himself to profile as well to try and hide how he's shaking with laughter at everything - his own stupid puns, Tim's innocent look that somehow still manages to work on Bart even though he totally knows better, and that outfit: the fur and the flames and the fishnet. After a few seconds, he's calmed down and faces Tim again, one hand waving the idea away while the other is wiping at his eyes and then brushing back the hair that's fallen into his face.]

No. God, no. She'd want an interview, and there's no way. I mean - how did you get the fake tattoos the same every time?

[Which almost starts him laughing again, because Bart really feels better for this half of the discussion. Hearing that Tim's been here for eight months sobers him somewhat.]

So what you're saying is I'm late to the party. Figures. [He shrugs.] Dude. You're always needed.

Edited 2013-07-12 15:08 (UTC)

Trade secret. [He holds his own fingers up next to his head in Bart's own 'bat ears' gesture, and finally lets his own grin out.] And you say that like you think I don't still have that cape somewhere.

[He drops his hands again.] It's been kind of a trickle of people. You're not the only one, and I'm not anywhere near the first.

Tim. We're in the same trade.

[He's amused and bemused all at once, and the cape - oh, that does not help anything. His mouth is quirked up in a half grin, and his eyes dart to the door like he's going to run for it in a race to search everywhere for it before Tim can make a straight beeline for it. Realizing that there's no way that the cape is around here does not make him forget about it.]

When I get home, I'm gonna do you a solid and set that thing on fire. I don't know why you haven't y- oh. My God, what am I saying? Check that. I am stealing that and making an anonymous donation to the Flash Museum for the friends wing.

[Paaaaaause. Wait, no, this joke suddenly got way out of hand, and maybe it's time to backpedal a little.]

Wait, did I say I still had it around? I changed my mind, it's probably lost in the depths of the Batcave, and I you know how Bruce feels about guests.

[Wait, does he? Tim assumes he does. Everyone knows that Bruce is the grumpiest vigilante alive, right?]

[Too late.]

You did, and it's you so. Guess which version of the story I'm taking as truth?

[Bart definitely knows that Batman is Bruce and that Batman is the grumpiest thing to ever exist. He'll take his chances. He's pretty sure he can be in and out of the cave, if the cave is even where it is, before the security alarm goes off.]

He'll never know I was there.

[Now have a look, Bart, as well as a bit of a grin.]

Do you really think anyone gets into the cave without him knowing? Seriously?

[Bart shrinks a little under the look, but he's too curious about this scenario to let it go.]

No, but there's got to be some way to pull it off. Some random combination of capes and circumstances that could do it. It's the ultimate challenge. It's like climbing Everest. I wonder if Raven can teleport people without teleporting herself, because if I could convince Mr. Terrific to help...

C'mon, brainstorm with me, Tim. I need you for this.

[He snickers.] You're right you'd need me for this. And there is no way I'm telling you how to break into the cave.

[His recommendation would be hacking Bruce's JL teleport code, but he's not going to mention that.]

Because of the cape thing? Okay. Hear me out here. Will it to the Museum? Then can we...

[Blink.]

Shoot. No. That argument doesn't work because then if we get caught it's not "I was looking for Robin's old cape". It's "I just wanted to see if I could get in." And I'm off Bats' Christmas card list. Not that I'm on it. Or want to be. His cards are probably miserable. "Merry Day That I'm the only one working."

[Which brings Bart back around to something from earlier in the conversation. He doesn't know how to beat around the bush with it though, and he gets fidgety as he tries to work out how to not blurt it out. Until...]

You said that he came back.

[Good job. He flinches a little.]

[Have a halfway decent impression of Bruce's batvoice:]

Crime doesn't take a day off.

[And then back to his normal voice, with a slight smile. Don't worry about it, Bart. There really just isn't a good way to ask that question. Life in the DCU is so weird.]

Yeah, he is. Turns out he wasn't dead after all. Just... kind of lost. In time. [See how not-crazy he was?]

You're getting better at that.

[Any better and Tim's going to have Bart jumping out of his skin, really.]

And. I wasn't really bringing it up to hear about the how and why.

[He never would have thought Tim was crazy. Just possibly over-stressed. But he's glad to hear that Tim's gotten, well, mostly everyone back. Bart can't bring himself to say that though. It'd only sound awful.]

I just wanted to see if you remembered how to smile, still. You know. All that grim voice practice will rot your brain.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(no subject)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Action

Re: Action

Action

Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Action

Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Re: Action

Action

Action

Action