Video;

[manofiron]

[ The video begins with a dark-haired man centered in the middle of the frame. He’s got dark eyes, a precisely cut goatee, and hair that’s a little too styled to be naturally that neat. There isn’t a lot to see beyond his chin, he’s sitting too close to the camera, but what can be seen looks vaguely like a shirt of shiny red metal.

His brow knits almost immediately after the feed starts recording, his expression edging toward disbelief as his lips twist into a mild frown. ]

Look. I get it. In a time of crisis, rationing’s necessary to keep resources moving in the right direction. Perfectly understandable. You guys needed to save your turtle. What responsible citizen wouldn’t do their part for that noble cause?

[ There’s a slight hint f sarcasm creeping into his voice, as though he’s heard the whole turtle spiel already and not only hasn’t been impressed, but also doesn’t really buy it either. Not even after having spent half a day scouring the network for information about what’s really going on here before making this video. ]

But really? Twenty bucks?

[ The low, indistinct murmur of another voice can be heard, though what it’s saying and who it belongs to is anyone’s guess. Whatever it says, it’s enough to make the man roll his eyes. ]

Juulan. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The point — [ Whether he’s talking to the camera or the unidentified voice is unclear. ] — is that it isn’t enough for a day, let alone the entire bogus adventure.

[ It isn’t so much the way he looks at the camera – his eyes have never left it – but the change of his tone, less querulous and more curious, that indicates that he’s talking to whoever’s on the other end of the console. ]

So really. Turtle propaganda aside. What’s a guy gotta do to get some decent money around here? Sell his organs? Hit the street corners? Scrub barnacles off the bottom of the turtle? What?

Comments

[manofiron]

[ Being careful doesn't sound like much fun. ]

Really? Safety first? Don't tell me. Deputy Inspector of the Turtleworld Fun Police Department?

[pandoricas]

[People like you is why the Doctor keeps thinking he's right.]

Um. I'm a nurse, actually.

[manofiron]

[ Does the TWFPD have a medical team? He's starting to think it does. ]

So you've seen it all? Hazards of risk-taking and all that jazz?

[pandoricas]

[They have clinics and other stuff, does that count?]

Yes, I have. [Don't try to compete with the guy who's actually lived for over 2000 years in another universe, Tony. Just don't.]

[manofiron]

[ Close enough! ]

Okay.

[ It's like if Steve was even more tight-laced and determined to avoid the F-word. Clearly, this poor soul needs an intervention. ]

Question. What do you do for fun? You specifically. Not a general you in this place.

[pandoricas]

[No. No, Rory does not need an intervention. He already has enough of those.]

I read, usually. Or go out with my wife, if she wants.

[manofiron]

[ He reads? There's nothing wrong with that. Tony reads too. But this description sounds like a cry for help if ever he's heard one. ]

Go out and do what? Eat? Dance? Raise hell? Give me an idea on the spectrum of excitement here.

[pandoricas]

[He doesn't need any help!!]

...whatever she wants to do? It depends, really.

[Rory is the most badass and henpecked husband.]

[manofiron]

Okay. That settles it. You and me? We're hanging out.

[ This is a tragedy that Tony cannot in good faith allow to continue. ]

I'm Tony. Tony Stark. What's your name?

[pandoricas]

[Wait what why--]

Um, Rory. [A beat.] Rory Willams.

[Another pause.]

--why are we hanging out?

[manofiron]

What? You don't want to hang out? Make friends? Have some fun?

[ This is the voice of a man who doesn't take no for a answer. ]

It'll be safe fun. I promise. No need to get out your nursing skills.

[ He needs to expose him to fun gradually before getting to the Reckless and Crazy level. ]

[pandoricas]

[Again, something that Rory has heard lots of times.]

Not the first time I heard that.

[That's what the Doctor says every single time - and look where he is now.]

[manofiron]

We're stuck on a city in the middle of a turtle. That really sound like a place a guy can get into too much trouble?

[ It's not quite "what could possibly go wrong?" but it's close. ]

[pandoricas]

Somebody told me to expect the unexpected in this place. [A beat.] It never hurts to be careful.

[Yes, you are rude but he still doesn't want to see you get into trouble. Trouble is pretty bad in general.]

[manofiron]

Unexpected as in bad or good or both? This is important.

[ Tony's inclined to believe that it's the first one. He's not an optimist. In his experience, everything goes badly. ]

[pandoricas]

I don't know, I haven't really seen it for myself. Although there are these Tribbles spawning everywhere right now.

[Its okay, Tony, Rory can join you in the not-optimist department.]

[manofiron]

Do you have one? A tribble? Why don't I have one?

[ Now he's looking around, somewhat disappointed that there aren't tribbles overtaking his apartment. ]

[pandoricas]

[You don't want any tribbles around you, Tony, trust me.]

I managed to get them all out of my place before they could swarm. And its better to not have one, really - they multiply really fast.

[manofiron]

Swarm like bees? And they multiply like rabbits? Now I'm just picturing rabid bee-rabbits.

[ He isn't sure if that sounds more or less disturbing. ]

[pandoricas]

[More, just for your sake.]

They're harmless, I think, just - hard to control, especially when they multiply that fast.

[manofiron]

It's not because you've gotten them wet, is it?

[ They could be like gremlins. He doesn't know. ]

Have you tried feeding them after midnight?

[pandoricas]

[Stare.]

Why would I want to feed them at all?

[manofiron]

Won't they die if you don't?

[pandoricas]

I'm not an expert in this.

[manofiron]

Technically, you're more of an expert than me.