Video;

[manofiron]

[ The video begins with a dark-haired man centered in the middle of the frame. He’s got dark eyes, a precisely cut goatee, and hair that’s a little too styled to be naturally that neat. There isn’t a lot to see beyond his chin, he’s sitting too close to the camera, but what can be seen looks vaguely like a shirt of shiny red metal.

His brow knits almost immediately after the feed starts recording, his expression edging toward disbelief as his lips twist into a mild frown. ]

Look. I get it. In a time of crisis, rationing’s necessary to keep resources moving in the right direction. Perfectly understandable. You guys needed to save your turtle. What responsible citizen wouldn’t do their part for that noble cause?

[ There’s a slight hint f sarcasm creeping into his voice, as though he’s heard the whole turtle spiel already and not only hasn’t been impressed, but also doesn’t really buy it either. Not even after having spent half a day scouring the network for information about what’s really going on here before making this video. ]

But really? Twenty bucks?

[ The low, indistinct murmur of another voice can be heard, though what it’s saying and who it belongs to is anyone’s guess. Whatever it says, it’s enough to make the man roll his eyes. ]

Juulan. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. The point — [ Whether he’s talking to the camera or the unidentified voice is unclear. ] — is that it isn’t enough for a day, let alone the entire bogus adventure.

[ It isn’t so much the way he looks at the camera – his eyes have never left it – but the change of his tone, less querulous and more curious, that indicates that he’s talking to whoever’s on the other end of the console. ]

So really. Turtle propaganda aside. What’s a guy gotta do to get some decent money around here? Sell his organs? Hit the street corners? Scrub barnacles off the bottom of the turtle? What?

Comments

Video;

[parallels]

What d'you think we'd use to scrub the bottom of a city-sized turtle? Something tells me a sponge isn't going to cut it.

[manofiron]

I don't know. People adapt tools to their environment. This one's a giant turtle. People are nuts about their pets. I just assumed someone would adopt it, the Save the Turtle Foundation or whatever, and by now there'd be turtle washing parties, birthday celebrations, that whole crazy nine yards.

[parallels]

Pet? More like rented living space. Honestly, I think we're closer to being Tu Vishan's pet than the other way around. Save the Poor Foreigners foundation more like.

[manofiron]

Does he feed us? Take us on walks? Give us toys to play with? Because if he doesn't, then I think we definitely need a foundation.

[parallels]

Mostly just doesn't sink into the ocean which would cause us all to drown, really.

[manofiron]

Oh. Well. You know, that's good. Considerate. Kind of hands-off but I can appreciate it.

[parallels]

Definitely think we're the charity case here. Doesn't allow for much complaining.

Not that it stops anyone.

[manofiron]

Sorry, are you suggesting that people stop complaining?

[ He sounds aghast at the idea, but he's smiling enough that it's probably obvious he's not actually shocked by this suggestion. ]

You know what'll happen if they do that, right? They'll start doing something about the situation. We can't have that. Everyone will be productive; it'll be mass chaos.

[parallels]

[She grins at him, clearly tuning into his sense of humor.]

You joke, but knowing this lot? Everyone would be trying to do their own project to get us out and... I dunno, end up blowing up the entire turtle.

[manofiron]

So we give 'em something to do. TV, maybe. That seems to work all right at home, keeps the creative thought and motivation to a minimum in the general public.

[ It's only now that he's mentioned it that he realizes that he hasn't seen a TV set since he got here. ]

They don't have that here in Turtleworld, do they? How does everyone function?

[ A purely feigned look of abject shock passes over his face. ]

Do they go outside?