tushanshu | post: Video

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post: Video

[Have an incredibly awkward looking Enjolras, who is, nonetheless, facing the camera straight on. There is really more just an uncomfortable gaze in his eye as he stares out, glances at a sheet of paper that he obviously does not really need and takes a breath to steady himself before beginning.]

I have learned recently that I posses the grand ability to hurt people without realizing that I do it. I do not mean to be careless with anyone but it has happened again recently, because I allowed it to happen, and I would like to take this moment to issue an apology to those of you I have unintentionally hurt by shutting you out over the past month. Because it felt easier, I have run away from my problems, hid from them, and from my closest friends, who I have, mostly, avoided since our work in the field here concluded.

I have lied to all of you since then, on a great number of inconsequential matters, broken some implied promises [Yeah, that thing where he told Gavroche he was eating? That's one of them.] and hidden, rather than face and deal with the truth.

The truth then, all of it, is that Ma...[Wait. He's not supposed to say its name and he knows better. So he's clearing his throat and starting again.] The truth is that the shadow being that I encountered acquainted me with some aspects of myself I had long ago assumed I had under control or had never seriously considered as detrimental or harmful until now.

[Have a moment where Enjolras is pausing, consulting that paper, paling, but starring onward into the screen. He heard and wrote what he's going to say next but that does not mean it is at all pleasant.]

For my friends who've come here from my home, I have never meant to be so careless with you as I've been in the past. Never careless with your lives, but careless with your feelings and our friendships. Consider this as a public admission and the start of an apology if you would have it. I do not wish to lose you, but what have I done this month but make it very possible?

To the new friends I have spoken to who have helped me to see reason, or been needed distractions at a time like this, thank you.

Speaking truthfully to all of you, I am quite far removed from what would consider 'all right', 'fine' or anything in between, but I intend, if there is a way, to recover. Will you help me find the way to start that?

[And here, Enjolras isn't shifting exactly, but there's a hand near his ear and he seems to be scratching at it behind his hair a little. Oh dear.]

On another note, attempting to self pierce one's ear with a needle is perhaps not the best of ways to go about it. Might there be a professional on this network willing to perform that service for me?

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[He just returns that same, small, sad smile. He'd still like to hide, right now, but it was lessening day by day.]

Okay. But why piercings? What about wearing a ring, or a necklace or a bracelet of some kind?

Ah well. He IS typically given an earring or earrings. And the process of piercing it seemed meaningful just now. There has been...you arrived toward the end of our recent chaos at least, but it was something of a trial for a lot of us. Some sort of affirmation perhaps. [At which point Enjolras is absently scratching at his earlobe a little because now that he's drawn attention to it? It itches.] Alas, I was a bit over-excited about the process.

That's what everyone has been saying. And then they tell me just wait awhile, because the chaos will happen again. I'm trying not to believe that one.

[Big frown.] Don't itch it! That's going to make it worse.

I would hope it did not. I arrived just in time for most of the last one, it seems. I would not...[Enjolras is shaking his head, frowning here.] Well, I would not like for there to be another crisis like that I must be a part of. Better to be prepared in case there is, of course but it was particularly bad. As far as waiting...I suppose that it is all that we can do, but waiting things out with no knowledge is not something I would enjoy risking.

...Ah right. Hard not to remember that.

So what's the best way to get information, here? Is there a library or anything?

[He sighs.] Couldn't find a piercing place here for it? They have those all over malls back home... I can't believe I'm offering, but if you need someone to help you try again, just. Give it a day or two, first, so it can heal.

Well, generally, I have used the network, or asked my friends who have been here longer. The Empress has a library but...only a few are allowed access to it, and it is very difficult to find a lot of it, I am afraid. They do sell some books, but. Sharing the information seems to work best, really.

I was...this was a bit spur of the moment. An impulse I typically do not give into. After a few days though? I may take you up on that. Thank you.

No Dewey Decimal system? [He grins. He's not really a huge reader himself. It's not that he doesn't read, he just has other stuff to do, most of the time. But he does love history.]

I sort of figured that one. But yeah, give it a few days. You're not supposed to keep poking at it.

Ah? Is that some sort of...organization then? No, nothing of that sort. [The idea though? Well, he's got a boyfriend who would probably LOVE it, so he's making a mental note to tell him about that.] So many new things like that have come about since my life that it hardly seems surprising.

I...will do my best. At any rate I have a doctor just a suite away so I ought to be all right.

Yeah, it's a way libraries organize their books now. [He pauses. He has no idea when that started. Not recently. But not that old? He has no idea.] Well, for whatever else, the Dewey Decimal system will not be the strangest.

There you go! You're all set. Just don't poke it.

Mmm no likely not from other things that I have heard. It's hardly even the strangest new thing I've heard this week, I'm afraid. Still. Something new, I suppose.

I...can do my best.

I'm hesitant to ask you what the strangest thing was, but... would I like the answer?

[Enjolras is actually laughing a bit now.]

Well. I am friends with dragons now, among others, one of my friends is learning magic...

It does tend to seem a bit more revolutionary than not.

Whoa, whoa. [He holds up a hand.] You're friends with a dragon? Magic I can believe because we have that back home, but dragons?

Two of them actually. From the same world, though I've seen a third dragon making postings on the network who seems to be from another. I DID warn you things were strange.

How did I miss multiple dragons on this thing!? Are they big? Do they fly around a lot?

They are...Temeraire is the size of a large horse perhaps? I think he is MEANT to be larger but it seems to be...disallowed or something of the sort. It was quite a bit...different at first, I will say that.

So he's been forced to become smaller? That's... actually, that makes sense.

I think it may be something to do with the...physics? [He's not entirely sure that is the right word but he's using it for now because it seems to fit.] of Tu Vishan. The same thing that allows for those who have powers in this world to use them, perhaps?

Makes sense, yeah. It just wouldn't make sense for a big dragon... I can't believe I'm talking about the physics of a dragon... to be on a turtle that's only so big, even if it's a lot compared to us.

I just talked about dragons and turtles like they're normal things. I don't know if physics work with the power thing? But... maybe some things are just allowed.

Are turtles not real things where you are then? [Enjolras is raising an eyebrow at this, wryly. But no , the rest of it...]

I will admit the logic here is...odd to me. Different.

No, we have turtles! But like... not giant size turtles we can live on. Regular turtles! And Galapagos island turtles. They're pretty big.

Yeah, I can imagine. I can really imagine.

I WAS going to say it seemed most odd otherwise. [Enjolras's lip is quirking here. Just a bit.]

I...one does grow used to it after a time if that is ANY help.

[Aha! A hint of a smile!] You should see those turtles, though. They could probably crush a man if someone was patient enough for them to crawl over him.

That does sound rather...worrying. [And like something to mention, in passing, to Combeferre.] Well let us hope never to anger one, perhaps?

Good idea. Or get in the way of... you know what, just stay away from giant turtles that you're not already on.

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