[video]

[bacondivination]

[ Loki is leaning a bit too close to the terminal screen when he starts to record his little post. He seems a little too bright-eyed given the circumstances, and there’s an odd rapidity to his speech when he starts talking. ]

I have to admit, I am disappointed. [ He holds up a touchscreen phone so his audience can get a look at it. ] These Starkphones are simply not designed for the rigor of interdimensional travel, and the lack of service is a failure I cannot abide. How will I chronicle my doings without the aid of Instagram and Facebook? Nor can I go on to spread knowledge of this failing with a review!

At least the natives of this realm are accommodating, though I don’t think this makes for an adequate replacement of my phone.

[ He pauses only briefly before switching gears. ] Now, moving onto more important matters… I have a few questions about the quality of native cuisine and where the best breakfast can be found.

Comments

Re: video;

[bacondivination]

[ Oh, but it's a very good joke. ]

You really think so? I'm not.

[definingfuture]

[He's really not happy to see him. Especially with that grin.]

You're one of the last people I'd put on the list to bring here. Don't play innocent.

[Ugh, where is Thor?]

[bacondivination]

I'm playing nothing. I have done naught wrong here.

[ Dammit, this one knows him. If it isn't his world's Stark, it's one too close for comfort. ]

So who else was taken? My brother, perhaps? I do miss him.

[definingfuture]

Yet. You haven't done anything yet. But you won't either.

I don't need Thor to handle you.

[He so needs Thor. Why did this have to happen now? Tony's giving Loki as critical a look as he can manage without full on yelling at him.]

[bacondivination]

[ A flicker of disappointment makes its way across his face before it settles back into a bland smile. He'd actually hoped the big oaf was around. ]

Threatening children now, are we? You're doing well for yourself.

[definingfuture]

You aren't a child.

No, wait. Why are you a child?

[Yeah, that just caught up with him. Also he didn't completely miss the brief of disappointment. Would it be terrible to feel better about having someone he recognized around in this case?]

[bacondivination]

You don't know. And here I had thought you were just being spiteful.

[ Is this better or worse? He's not sure yet, but he's rolling with it. ]

The Loki that you knew is dead and gone. My brother resurrected me, and gave me a chance to change my ways with no real knowledge of what evils had been done.

[definingfuture]

[Stop telling him what he doesn't know. He gives Loki a dirty look for that.]

I probably knew.

[That's honest enough. It is possible, probable, that he knew all of that at some point. But it's also true that he doesn't know now. So he's left wondering what Thor was thinking. Sometimes he really doesn't understand the man.]

You expect me to buy that? To just believe you?

[bacondivination]

Do you really think if I had the inclinations and even half the power of my elder incarnation, I would find reason to be here? They don't even have bacon.

[ The outburst is halfway genuine. Okay, bringing that back a little. He's in control here. Sorta. ]

But no, I don't expect you to.

[definingfuture]

[He is not in control at all. What kind of joke is that?]

Good, because I don't. You might be small, but that doesn't mean you're not dangerous.

[Maybe it won't come down to a fight. Maybe he really is different. But Tony is drawing the line right now to prevent any turtle collapse that might happen without Thor to keep Loki in check.]

[bacondivination]

I'm not trying to convince you that I am not dangerous in general. I don't think you're that stupid.

[ The truth is the easiest lie to tell. ]

However, it would be murder on my 'Young Avenger' status if I did anything wrong. By the way, that's also a thing.

[definingfuture]

In general has nothing to do with it. And you know that.

[Younger version or not, Loki isn't stupid either. He knows what has Tony's hackles raised. The new information does get a look of surprise. That's an unpleasant update. Maybe it's a lie. He's not sure.]

Why is that a thing?

[bacondivination]

I'm doing the 'saving the world' thing with my friends. It's fun in a road trip sort of way.

[ He had to say that as casually as possible, just for maximum effect. ]

What I can tell you about it is that I was tied into their group by a spell not of my design. We're doing things that your Avengers couldn't at the moment.

[definingfuture]

Excuse me? You are doing what we can't do?

[Serious threats take a backseat to network posturing, because Tony is mature like that.]

Even if what you're saying is true, you can't match the Avengers. Don't get cocky. You're no Thor.

[bacondivination]

Your words cut me deeply.

[ This is said with a full, dramatic eyeroll of the sort only teenagers are really talented at. He was surprisingly good at this when he wanted to be. ]

Don't be a diva, Stark. Your delicate feelings will recover from the shock of finding out there are other people just as good at protecting Midgard. Even superior in certain aspects.

[ It was so counterproductive to be spoiling for a fight here, but feeling so out of control of his current fate made him cranky. He'd strategize later, after the back and forth let off some frustration. ]

You can trust that, if nothing else.

[definingfuture]

Yeah, you look crushed.

[Tony responds with equally sarcastic bite. That is something he's got plenty of experience with, and Loki's jabs don't actually phase him as much as the shock does. Which, if he'd stop being immature about it long enough to clear his head, he probably wouldn't find it as upsetting. People can change. It's just that it's Loki and Tony can't trust him. Not really.]

Can I remind you that your brother is an Avenger? Because he's more than good enough to protect everyone, and he's on my team.

[He wants to throw out how he never tried to kill his family like Loki. How Loki just does things for the sake of ruling or destroying them. But he doesn't. He can't, because it feels off to bring that up when Loki might not even be the one he knows.]

When did you start caring about what happens to Midgard?

[bacondivination]

[ Nope. No way. Not rising to the brother-related bait any further. If he does, he'll just undo everything that he's been accomplishing thus far and he knows it. He forcibly suppresses the urge, jaw clenching briefly. ]

Asgardia's present location made learning of Midgardian ways easy. Experience has shown me that it is as an ideal playground, filled with many new and fascinating things to investigate. How could I not care for a world that offers such variety and amusement? And mortals always bring change either for good or for ill.

Who, if not Loki, could truly appreciate that? [ There's a brief pause, and he shifts back out of his more grandiose, distinctly Asgardian speech patterns. ] Besides, your people have the internets. It's a few points in their favor.

[definingfuture]

[He was goading him and he doesn't feel bad about it. After dealing with Loki before, Tony isn't going to give him the benefit of assuming he can change. He isn't discounting the possibility, but he also knows that a god that has deceived and manipulated them can't be trusted.]

We don't need your appreciation. There's no incarnation of you that has ever appreciated anything in life.

[Tony speaks with a level voice, but his hand is clenched on the desk where it's resting. He manages not to show any other signs of how aggravated he is, but it's there.]

[bacondivination]

I'm going to do what I want and like what I want. No approval necessary.

[ His voice becomes smooth as if he'd regained his composure, though he'd hardly be surprised if Stark knew he was rattled. He knows he has to sound like he's at least a little unstable, but he actually rather is. Maybe that would work in his favor.

Probably not. ]

Now, if I'm such a malevolent creature, come at me. I think the fact that you could defeat me as I am is quite obvious, though I'd like to think I could hold my own for a little while.

[definingfuture]

Approval has nothing to do with it. If you hurt anyone, I'm going to be there personally.

[Tony's putting on his best Iron Man attitude for this. He knows that if he doesn't act confident, he'll be giving Loki more of an advantage. Not that he can guarantee that anything would keep Loki out of trouble anyway, but he can try to put up some intimidation.

But he can't just fly over and confront him, either. What kind of good guy would he be then?]

Don't try me.

[bacondivination]

Why are you waiting- no, hoping for an excuse? Could it be that you are not entirely certain I'm the evil you want me to be? Hm?

[ This is the worst strategy ever, but Stark seemed confident. If he was confident, he wouldn't be so easily goaded into making a mistake that both of them would regret in different ways. ]

But, oh no, that couldn't possibly be the case. If you have any unreasonable quarrel with me, Iron Man, I'd just as soon have it over so I can put my focus to the problem at hand.

[definingfuture]

[Loki's placing some heavy bets, assuming Tony won't follow through to prove that he can. He's done a lot to prove just that, and not always for the better causes.]

You're really asking that? I don't care what world you're from or what form you take. Some things just don't change.

[He releases the suit, but that's where he stops. Even if Loki were older, he wasn't stupid. Tony can't deny that the god might actually be more useful if he's trying to compromise.

That doesn't mean he has to like it.]

I'm not sure you know what the problem is.

[Mostly because he can't fathom Loki actually caring where he is as long as he can cause trouble. But then, maybe getting back is important enough to him to focus on.]

[bacondivination]

[ Loki's always had a devil's own luck and leveraging heavy bets always paid off when he knew he could use both outcomes in different ways.

But he wasn't going to lie to himself when he feels some relief that Iron Man did not, in fact, declare it some form of 'go time' or other colloquialism for battle. ]

I've a wide variety of problems currently, and most of them are bigger than you or me or even this single dimension. So which one do you think I ought to pay attention to?

[ He leans over the console more heavily, pursing his lips. ]

[definingfuture]

[It's escalating, and Tony isn't sure yet if that's good or bad to him. Part of him thinks it would be better to avoid conflict if he can. There's not much to be gained out of fighting Loki when they aren't at home, and it'll get complicated here where no one really knows them.

On the other hand? Facing down a familiar enemy would do a lot for his frustration. What is maturity worth anyway?]

I'm sure you've got plenty of time for all of them. Don't play innocent when we both know that isn't true. And don't think for a second I'm not willing to come over there and make sure you're not behind some of this.

[He's considering it. He's still undecided, though. Technically Loki hasn't done anything yet, as far as he can tell. But he's said enough that now Tony wants answers.]

[bacondivination]

Alright, fine. You insist on getting to the head of the line of 'Things Driving Loki Crazy,' and have done a good job at that. A winner is you.

[ He's irritated enough to want to point out that this good old Mally fellow was not actually his style anymore even if it had been in the past, but he refrains. He wasn't going to let on any little bit of what he'd seen in that meeting at the Metal sector. The little magpie that had been there had escaped clean, and his current role was as a very new newcomer.

There's a pause, just long enough for someone to say something despite the silence, and what comes next is frustrated and vaguely directed. ]

I'm not the bad guy here.

[ It just wasn't fair when an enemy unwittingly teamed up with the mocking figure he couldn't help but hallucinate from time to time. ]